T Nation

Getting a T-Vixen


This is a question for the ladies...

Is there a particular thing that hot T-Vixens go for that you think is different than other women? All of us here are fit, but often we see hot girls with guys who are not. We get a lot of mixed signals.

I'm not even talking about getting on for marriage or even just a fling, I just mean generally getting their eye.

Forgive me if this has been asked before.


Try not thinking of them as hot. Not being boring and just relying on your devastatingly good looks has its advantages as well.


Jeff-I think that being hot and seriously caring about the development of our physiques is a major seperator for us. Plus these hot chicks that you speak of that are with the wrong guys might not have the self worth to pursue a real man.
Just from reading our posts one can tell that the women on this forum posses a lot of self confidence and have a good work ethic (at least in the gym). Thus we want a man that conveys those same traits.


penis size.

If you don't have to wrap it into a kind of 'bun' to keep it from getting in the way of your workout, you're out of luck.

Seriously, I hear that confidence does the most for you, though t-vixens are more likely to also want a guy who takes care of his body.


Try offering them red meat. A nice slab of beef usually will attract a vixen or two. Or, just dangle your wang out.


I could wax philosophical about relationships ad nauseum, but if what you're truly after is to "get their eye," then the best first impressions in my opinion come from guys who appear neat, clean, have good posture and exude an air of quiet confidence.


Good posts.

Any other ladies have commentary on this?


You are asking two different questions here:


Speaking for myself (were I even in the aforementioned category), I'd have to say confidence bordering on cockiness; a down-to-earth and realistic view of the kind of hard work it takes to make the gains you want to make (relates to other areas of life as well as the gym) and the willingness to make it happen; intellectual/emotional independence; and a sense of humor compatible with mine never hurts. :wink:


First off, NOT "all of us here are fit". T-mag may have a higher level of "fitness" than your average gym, but just because you read T-mag doesn't necessarily make you a T-man in mind, body and spirit. You gotta put into place what you know in your head in order for that to be the case.

Secondly, "hot girls" are not necessarily T-vixens. Some come by their looks easily, some have to bust their ass to get it. Even assuming you are talking about a chick that's busted her ass in the gym and has more between her ears than 90% of the population in regards to training/nutrition, that doesn't necessarily mean she's got the emotional capacity to be a T-vixen. She could still have the emotional maturity of 5 year old. Ya just never know....

I guess it all boils down (for both sexes) to what's on the inside. Window dressing is nice, but if the foundation is rotten you're not going to buy.


Karma's sandy ass is enough for me (ha ha)


Hey Jeff~
I can't speak for all the gals, but I can speak for myself. Don't be JUST a dude with a great outside (physique). Exercise all your qualities, but in an understated way. Be the wonderful person whom you are inside as well. One thing that is extremely attractive in a guy who trains is a positive attitude that comes from feeling secure in himself, and being able to treat all people with kindness and respect. Also, someone whom is not only out for himself. I think those kinds of honorable characteristics make guys stand out from the crowd and show that there is also grey matter there as well as muscle. One very good example is my friend Rob from the gym. He's a well-known BB pro as he has won many titles. He has taken under his wing (for no financial gain- he already has a great job) three gym newbies, and trains them several times a week. I think he loves the satisfaction of seeing the light going on and also helping others. He is also a very humble, loving, gracious, smart person. He's a prime example of the quintissential T-Man and a very eloquent bodybuilder who is giving back to the sport.

Hope this is helpful input!

Love and Aloha,


There are a lot of things that come into play for me when meeting a guy and him being able to parlay that meeting into a first date, and perhaps more. Yes, looks do count, but not as much as you might think. (If anything I am getting away from dating super-incredibly-hot guys, they are more trouble than they're worth and typically come by women so easily that they're just jerks. But like anything, there are plenty of exceptions to that. Any of you T-men want to show me :wink:!) A quiet confidence (dating a T-Vixen takes a very confident guy, lots of guys hit on us, [although i would classify myself as more of a "T-Vixen in training," but have never really lacked for attention from the male population] you just need to laugh it off and know we're with you and have no intention of being swept off our feet by some smooth talker out at a bar/the gym/work, whatever.) In addition to confidence, there are things like intelligence, integrity, a positive attitude (big one for me), having your shit together (basics like career, live independently, etc., since I do) there's still the big one, that no one can really do anything about, and that's chemistry. Without that initial spark, even if you have the "laundry list" that particular T-Vixen is looking for, it's unlikely to get off the ground.


Carrieleigh, that is some good info. I'm from the group of guys that women come easily to. However, I pass on the really hot girls usually because I figure like you do that they're more trouble than they're worth. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of really good-looking women. But I figure that the one with the guys gathered around her like she's god almighty I usually don't bother with. Do you think I should just go for it?


Jeff, go for it. If you feel that chemistry, attraction, etc. and it seems to be a two-way street, of course! I often hear that men find me intimidating, and I wish that if they would just go for it.

Longish story, there was this really cute guy from my old gym that always used to check me out, say a sheepish "hi" but that was it. This was about a year ago. Last month I was up in VT at a bar and the bartender hands me shot, points to who it is, and lo and behold, it's that guy, what a small world. I take the shot, he walks over and we start talking. He tells me that he had tried to muster the courage to ask me out for months, and then I switched gyms and he was kicking himself for never having asked. He had passed across my mind occasionally as well, but I have never ever ever approached a guy so I had no idea how to go about it. Apparently he thought I was intimidating, and he also commented that I was very focused and he didn't want to disturb me. We ended up talking more and I found him to be a pompous ass so I was no longer interested, BUT, moral of the story is that you should just go for it. What's the worst that could happen? She could say no, you could find out she sucks, OR maybe, just maybe, she'd be really cool and you'd hit it off.


Well, I don't have anyone in mind, but just generally speaking. So I guess being pompous doesn't work with you...lol!

I am usually shy and reserved and always the stable one. Usually the way it works with me is a girl in the gym will be there working out and always see me there because I'm always there. Eventually we will speak or have a mutual friend put us in contact. Then I find out she always wanted me anyways.

Not to be pompous, but it goes that way every time.


You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

I've never seen a guy (or girl) actively trying to meet people that didn't meet people or get noticed.

If you're sitting at home in front of the computer all the time when you could be involved in activities that would allow you to meet people that interest you, well, you only have yourself to blame.

If you want to find a T-Vixen then you have to get out there and hunt one down. It'll never happen if you wait for her to fall out of the sky into your lap.


2 quotes come to mind

"He who hesitates; masterbates"
My posse' motto when going out to night clubs back in the day

"I would rather regret the things the I have done, then regret the things I didn't do."
Micheal Caine


I think it's official: insecurity and lack of self confidence are tried and true forms of NOT meeting a T-Vixen.


Ok, now some of you T-Vixens get over here so I can practice this stuff.


I guess it is time for me to move to Oahu. Kauai is home to no T-vixens.


Ok...I retract my earlier post based on the depiction of a T-Vixen posted on the training/nutrition forum. If that is what a T-Vixen is supposed to be than I don't want to be considered one.