You are asking two different questions here:
Speaking for myself (were I even in the aforementioned category), I'd have to say confidence bordering on cockiness; a down-to-earth and realistic view of the kind of hard work it takes to make the gains you want to make (relates to other areas of life as well as the gym) and the willingness to make it happen; intellectual/emotional independence; and a sense of humor compatible with mine never hurts.
First off, NOT "all of us here are fit". T-mag may have a higher level of "fitness" than your average gym, but just because you read T-mag doesn't necessarily make you a T-man in mind, body and spirit. You gotta put into place what you know in your head in order for that to be the case.
Secondly, "hot girls" are not necessarily T-vixens. Some come by their looks easily, some have to bust their ass to get it. Even assuming you are talking about a chick that's busted her ass in the gym and has more between her ears than 90% of the population in regards to training/nutrition, that doesn't necessarily mean she's got the emotional capacity to be a T-vixen. She could still have the emotional maturity of 5 year old. Ya just never know....
I guess it all boils down (for both sexes) to what's on the inside. Window dressing is nice, but if the foundation is rotten you're not going to buy.