T Nation

Get Laid...the Star Wars Way

Was Chris Shugart a consultant to George Lucas on Attack of the Clones? I would swear that the entire Anakin-Padme relationship was right out of The Big Woof from T-Mag issue 93. (Get Laid the Testosterone Way.)

Consider the following from the Big Woof:

“Women aren’t attracted to men who treat them like queens.” Notice how Padme was originally turned off to Anakin while he was fawning all over her? She didn’t start to respond to him until he started asserting himself.

“Women are attracted to dangerous guys.” Well you don’t get much more dangerous than an emotionally unstable guy with supernatural powers.

“Women instinctively like to fix or mother their men” Notice how Padme steps in to lead Anakin when his mom is killed. And let’s face it, his emotional troubles were pretty obvious. Of course, Padme will step in to fix him, right?

“Women are most attracted to men that they can’t have” Hmmmm…A Jedi knight who has taken a vow of celibacy. That pretty much says unattainable I would think.

Yep, it looks like Chris Shugart really hit the nail on the head. Hey Chris, any hints on Episode 3?

George Lucas’ “How To Get a Gorgeous and Powerful Female to Fall in Love With You in 10 Easy Steps”

1. (General personality) Be a whining, sniveling little prick.

2. (Maturity) Throw temper tantrums when Obi-wan doesn't let you "get your way." Say things like "He doesn't understand me," or "He treats me like a kid," and "He's just jealous of me."

3. (Appearance/Grooming) Hair braide - like those "tails" from the 80s.

4. (Moral Disposition) (a) Massacre an entire village of men, women and children Tuskans (b) Explain to your diplomat girlfriend how the Universe really needs an all powerful despot who will rule with an iron fist.

5. (Physical Prowess) must be able to "tear the ears off a Gundark"

6. (Humility) talk all the time about just how "great" you are - how you will ultimately become THE MOST POWERFUL JEDI in the entire galaxy!

7. (Charm) Talk about sand.

8. (Sweet Talk) "I've been in pain ever since we met" - that one gets 'em every time.

9. (Intelligence) Suggest having a secret affair in the midst of about 500 mindreading Jedis.

10. (Talent) Not a requirement.

**got this from FilmThreat.com - thought it might fit here. :-)) Patricia

What about the whole Solo/Leia thing in ESB? The princess calls him a scoundrel & he just says she needs more scoundrels in her life, then she kisses him.

You have too much time on your hands. You star warian.

Did Padme always love Anakin? I found the love story hard to bear because the acting was terrible and their “love” was weird in a creepy kind of way. I walked out of the movie not being sure if she loved the 8 yr old Ani in a way which 8 yr olds should not be loved or not.

My secret is out.

Actually, Berardi and Cy are working on #3. Rumor has it that no one mixes their carbs and fats in the dining scenes and they’re all jacked up on “Jedi Juice”. Even the Ewoks. (You know, “short man’s syndrome”)

I just went back and read that article. Spot on! I am a natural jerk so I can assure that what Chris wrote does work. My only question to
Chris is why did you look as such a nice guy on HBO special? I’d swear from watching that program that Chris is a nice guy, I have a gut feel for them :slight_smile:

Yep, like I said in the article, Nick, I’m a nice guy. But just as a genetically blessed, roided up pro-bodybuilder is often the worst at giving training advice, I’m not sure a real “bad boy” could have written that article. It comes too naturally for him. It takes a nice guy who’s “learned the secrets of the force” to do it. Also, it would have been tough to write that article as a single guy. Being married gave me the perspective to write it. Yes, you get married and then figure women out. Oh, the irony…

Hey, speaking of Star Wars… This morning I’m working out with my partner, the gym is pretty empty, and I look in the mirror, and over comes Jimmy Smits. He’s working out right next to me and my freind. So I laugh and he looks at us and keeps doing his thing. I don’t think anyone else knew who he was. but, apparently he’s gonna be here for the summer to work out, I heard from the front desk guy, so I’ll bullshit with him a little hopefully.

I don’t know if marriage lets you figure women out.[mine still confounds me daily]I think the difference is that you just don’t give a good damn about impressing anyone anymore and women seem to sense that, and now you are a challenge.