T Nation

Gentlemen at the Gym

Ok, bros its Gorilla season so right now Testosterone levels are high as your bulking up in the gym throwing on slabs of USDA beef. Obviously, the women can smell your natural alpha male pheromones but want a gentleman not a caveman. Whats the best way to ask out attractive girls at the gym and maximise this phenomenon?

In the past, I never hit on girls at the gym because it seems they don’t want to be bothered. Saying things like hey you look good or need a spot is creepy. My thinking is joined a Yoga class, spinning, or anything besides CrossFit that has women… (Sorry, not willing to sacrifice gainz and look like a tool)
All jokes aside the gym has tons of women who just like we are fitness minded so there’s gotta be a way to meet that is not weird or off-putting.

As a general rule I don’t interrupt anyone at the gym for the purpose of making friends or girlfriends. But if we’re to, some things to keep in mind may be

  • Talk to everyone, not just hot chicks.
  • Don’t interupt anyone mid set.
  • You can be helpful and offer to spot or help them set up on something awkward (handing them plates when they are decline situps)
  • Try not to be full gym bro and keep flexing at them lol

I can’t think of anything that doesn’t involve accidentally roofie-ing myself, crashing face first into a mirror and ending up on a worlds worst fails video montage.

Might include a unicycle. Who knows?


Sounds like you’re half way there so… :stuck_out_tongue:

More seriously, I think the only way this flies is if you choose one and let her see you consistently training hard and minding your own business for a long time (i.e. not getting caught perving or seeming like you’re following her around/posing/flexing for her)

Then if you happen to walk out and run into her as you’re leaving (I sometimes play with the “will this person keep pace or walk ahead/behind” dynamic, I reckon that’s a strong signal) ask how her session was (no “you trained really hard/you look great” bullshit), then greet her the next time.

You have something to build on without looking like the dick trying to get laid.

tl;dr; play the long game.


Im the same way Amen brotha…been going to same gyms same time for years…generally i talk to noone except when I need a spot. I have no problem getting dates at bars clubs internet but lets be honest. The hottest women are by far at the gym. Its like panning for gold but you work in a jewelry store.
I was thinking fake a injury like a ham pull or something. That way they unkowingly initiate contact. Also in Yoga class theres no meat heads just scrawny dudes and I notice they hang and chat after class. I went to a crossfit class once chalked with hotties but Im not sure I can change religion just for that

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@thehebrewhero, does this mean you’re looking for a nice girl to settle down with?

What’s near the gym that ladies like? A Starbucks, or Panera Bread or something dumb like that?

Pop in there, in gym clothes. Look for gym girls in their gym clothes there. It’s the “real world” so you can approach normally. And you can say, “don’t you go to my gym?” You already have something to work with.

Just like the universal, “didn’t we have history together?” back in college.

There isn’t one.

Like Flats mentioned, the gym can be the link but it can’t be the location. You might get away with weird, but what you can get away with isn’t the same as what is conducive.

My suggestion is to remain aloof and do not initiate anything unless you are getting legitimate indications of interest (IOI) on their behalf. Depending on how well honed your “sixth sense” is, it can be rather obvious when a girl is checking you out and/or yearning for your attention. When this occurs, then you have a green light to enter her realm sans awkward tension.

Another way to facilitate their initiation of contact is to standout from the rest of the male crowd. How do you do this in a gym? Get super buff? Lift massive weight? NOPE! You go about doing this by mastering a complex physical skill.
For example, I mastered handstands in the privacy of my home as well as freestanding handstand push-ups and walking on my hands (forward, backward, side-to-side, in circles, over objects). This endeavor took months and required near daily practice.
I then started doing this in the gym. The ensuing result was a shit ton of verbal feedback from women ranging from high school girls to milfs to 9-5 career ladies. They all approached me to compliment me and/or ask how I did this stuff. In all my years in the gym, there is hands down nothing that was as powerful of an icebreaker than standing on my hands.

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Standing on hands… months… daily practice… poontang…

I need time to think if this is worth it

All I’ll say is you will garner more female attention on your hands than you will on your feet.

Makes sense as lots ladies in the gym are drawn to yoga and hand balancing represents the apex of advanced yoga maneuvers that many of these women will never come close to mastering themselves.

Yes it requires tons of time invested and that’s true of most things that 99.9% of the population can’t do. But the pay off (female initiated feedback) is a major perk.

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I’ve been out the game a while but don’t you just slap them on the arse and say “hey sugar tits, nice squat” and then take it from there?


Hmmm not really… I’m a big fan of short-term relationships… 3-4 months then they get tired of my crap and move on… Then the cycle continues… The circle of life

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That’s a good idea. The flag pole thing would get crazy attention. I can do dragon flys but that’s not too impressive.

IDK at my gym there are some Instagram fitness model quality chics… some even got dudes filming their workouts… In morning its suburban Milfs… My bread & butter is the 30-40 milf of dark complexion. I understand black women better then Drake hahaha

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The issue with executing the human flag maneuver in the gym is that you would have to do it on heavy equipment which would look douchey.

I did it on one of side of a power rack as well as on one of the uprights in a cable cross-over machine. But that was in a near empty gym. I can’t imaging doing this in a crowded gym and would never attempt it.

Hand balancing for the win. All you need is floor space.

  • A few years ago I once did a human flag on iron stall bars in an outdoor park. Sure enough I was approached by a lady who asked me if I had a yoga or gymnastics background. That then led to a two hour conversation about a variety of stuff and her inviting me to an outdoor neighborhood festival that evening. I politely declined but the point being the advanced skill was the ice breaker and willing to bet nothing would have transpired if I had only been doing push-ups and pull-ups in the park.
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my gym has tons of space and a TRX thing perfect for it. I cant hand stand but I can do against the wall military press… Muscle ups on a pull up bar are pretty manly tho…I think that might work too

Best way I’ve found to talking to women in the gym is to talk to them about gym related stuff.

Nutrition, their favorite lifts, how tight their pussies are. You know regular stuff. :wink:

Seriously though, I find it’s much more effective if you happen to talk to a one of them or a few of them if they’re in a group. Single the leader of the 2nd one in charge - say hello, ask her what their program is and go from there.

You already have a common interest - again, jokes aside, in nutrition and general fitness. There’s tons to talk about so just do that. It’s best, though, to keep the interactions, at first, kind of quick so as not to interrupt their sessions. Be mindful that they’re there to work out, not get hit on by some schmo. Seeming genuinely interested in their programs and nutrition goes a long way. When they say something you like as well, tell them that and say something like “Ooooo that’s a good one”.

It boils down to find something of common interest but be respectful and cognizant of their time and yours. You’re still there for you, primarily.

You could always bring a cute dog. Unfortunately, most gyms would not like that very much.

Appear in the background of as many of their pics as you can for 3 months or so.

She will unconsciously accept you as part of her life then one day just start following her around, say relstionship type stuff, pretend you are the boyfriend and there is a good chance it will stick.

still better than the handstand idea :stuck_out_tongue: