If there is one thing you can count on in this dreadful Obama economy, it is the fact that video games such as Halo 4 still represent the absolute best buck for your entertainment dollar because they are relatively cheap and very immersive. I preordered Halo 4 a really long time ago, it seems, and I have been wringing my hands (and my Cheetos-stained fingers) perpetually since then.
At long last, this game that defines the very best in the much-heralded genre of the RPG puzzler is out, and so am I! While hardcore Xbox 360 fanboys such as myself will of course be both disillusioned and disappointed that Halo 4 still does not measure up to Elf Bowling 1 and 2 (but, of course, which game these days can?!), we still appreciate the effort that the Halo 4 team put into this highly original game that was never, ever done before (if you don't count versions 1, 2 and 3, that is).
As with the previous Halo 4 installments, you are permitted by the developers to play as Master Chef and Master Chef Jr., two characters that will go down in history as two of the awesomest characters to ever grace an RPG puzzler like this. As Master Chef, you have to traverse a monstrous landscape and battle map that, simply put, is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
You have to, get this, use your very high-tech weapons to shoot down as many ducks as you possibly can, and this objective gets very, very hard to do after a while, no matter how slowly the ducks first fly across your screen. I do believe that this is the single-biggest reason why Halo 4 will never, ever reach the levels of absolute awesomeness that both Elf Bowling 1 and 2 occupy; Halo 4 is just too hard, sometimes!
Of course, Master Chef's loyal dog, Fido, is always at the bottom of the screen, helpfully pointing out where the ducks are so that your chances of actually successfully shooting them down increases. Good dog, Spot!
In sum, please go out and buy yourself Halo 4 right now. I know this Obama economy has barely created any private sector jobs, and you're likely on food stamps as I type this at this moment, but take heart: It's less than 60 bucks! As for me, while I may never lose my virginity because I play video games so much, I've made peace with that since I have now discovered that playing video games is the best feeling in the world, not having sex with a live, breathing female.