Um… how about just farting when necessary? I have news for you, we fart too. It is a natural body function.
C’mon Michelle, do you really expect us to believe that Nicole Kidman and Jenna Jemeson fart? Who do you think we are?
laugh No, only ‘real’ women fart
Thank you. I feel much better now…
Obviously you’ve been giving Dutch oven training tips to my husband! (steam, steam, vent, vent!) Be forewarned, once you travel down that road, expect paybacks to be a bitch–literally! When we first dated, I occasionally snuck out a wee squeeker. Today my honey calls me the “Tootin’ Newton”. I can’t even dutch oven him–since the sheets usually get blown right off the bed. 
well i look at it as a consideration dealy. i wouls surley think it would ruin the mood.i consume quite a bit of eggs and protien through out the day and well …
Ruin the mood? laugh When I have bad gas the paint peels off of the walls. I don’t even bother blaming the dog anymore, Demo just tries to get out of the room before he is overcome by the fumes. I’m such a lady!
Hey, it's a natural body fuction and holding it in can cause headaches, abdominal pain, cramping and other fun things. I just choose to let it out!
LOL! I almost choked on my cottage cheese while reading some of the responses. Look, if you have a lot of gas, I guarantee it’s a diet problem. Either you’re combining the wrong foods, or your body isn’t digesting properly. Occassionally, I get a bad case of the gas, and it’s always due to the combination of certain foods (Chili makes me deadly to be around). Usually, I can hold it in, or leave the room. But sometimes, after holding it for a while, you just have to let it go. Just try to do it when you’re not around her. Or change your meal combos. I don’t usually fart around my girlfriend. But every once in a while, I will, either because I can’t hold it any longer or because she pisses me off, and I get back at her by letting one rip.
Check this out. This past weekend my girlfriend, brother and a friend went to see LOTR - Two Towers. I had chili earlier that day. So of course, during the movie, it was building up. But, I held it in the whole time. And that’s three hours and 10 minutes of not letting it rip. Well, after the movie, my brother had to give me some Christmas presents to bring to my place. So we went to his car. Since he was parked on the opposite side of the lot (and it was cold outside), he drove us to my car. Well, by the time I sat down in his car, I couldn’t hold it any longer. I let out the longest, loudest, stinkiest fart I’ve ever had! It rumbled under my seat and echoed throughout the car. I began to laugh my ass off, while the rest of them immediately moaned in agony. The windows went down, I kept laughing, and they were bitching at me for ripping it so bad. I think I burned a hole in my brother’s car seat. And I didn’t stop laughing until we got to my car. And then I let a few more go before finally making it home, getting into bed, and giving the girlfriend a dutch oven! Oh, how she loved me that night. LMAO!!!
Well the whole “mood ruining” thing is when i get a chick in bed and then i have to bust major ass. you mean to tell me that if your with a guy you just met a couple of hours ago and your in the sack and he rips a nasty protien fart your not going to be turned off? where have you been all my protien shake drinking life. oh i got your lotr beat.
it just opened up on the Imax screen by my house. we get there early only found 2 seats together and i’m next to a couple and his girl is pretty hot. well i didnt have time to go to the shitter so i thought i could hold it. well about an hour in i had one of those silent but deadly ones go off. it was so bad i heard her whispering “was that you” to her b.f. and then she busted out some perfume and sprayed it my way.lol. i was trying so hard not to laugh i was crying.
thank god i was with my roomate and not on a date. normal body function or not sometimes it’s just not apropriate to let one go ya know. but in that case i didn’t care i didn’t know them or would ever see them again so screw it.
laugh well, no of course I wouldn’t let one rip around a guy I just met… but once I get to know you you’re in BIG trouble!!!
To be serious for a moment, you should consider taking an multiple enzyme supplement. Not just ‘Beano’ or gas-x. If you’re eating lots of protein, look for one with pancreatin in it, as it really helps in the digestion of protein. If some of your meals are liquid, then enzymes are an even better idea.
When she is tossing your salad, does she sneeze?