T Nation

Gang O' Babes questions

Hey Guys - and Girls! -

We’re getting started on the next installment of the Gang column. Here’s where you come in - we need you to give us topics and questions for the column. We have had a few come in through email, and hopefully you can give us a few more here. Be as blunt as you like, and we’ll return the favor in the column. Thanks!

Feel free to take a stab at any of these questions. 1) How do you deal with a woman who thinks you’re going to cheat on her? (She thinks this way due to past relationships and being cheated on). 2) How do you deal with a woman’s mood swings? 3) How do you understand women and what makes them tick? 4) Why are women so complex and guys so simple? Can’t women be more simple? 5) How do you increase communication in a relationship (the man needing to be more communicative)? 6) Why do women always need conversation and constant attention, and get upset when the guy doesn’t have anything to say or isn’t feeling affectionate at the moment? 7) How can you get your partner to have sex more often? You know us guys, we want sex every day, two or three times a day. And it would be nice to have a girl who would enjoy having sex more often. 8) How do you get your woman to be more daring with sex? I don’t want sex to be restricted to the bedroom or BJ’s in the car during long rides, I want sex in the car, in the elevator, in the room next to someone else or a variety of other places. How can I get my girl to venture outside of her realm?

Okay, here is my question, and I will take you up on your offer to be blunt.

Why is it that women cannot leave men alone to be themselves? Every woman wants to pick, probe and criticize men for all kinds of inconsequential things. Like, “You leave the toilet seat up.” “You make annoying sounds when you eat.” “You keep tapping your toes and it is annoying.” “Why do you watch so much sports?” Blah blah blah.

I’ve yet to meet a woman who cannot seem to resist criticizing little nitpicky things. All people, including women, have habits that are not exactly charming, but men just let it pass and get used to it. No woman I’ve been with can seem to do that.

Why do girls have a ‘time limit’? If a girl shows that she’s into a guy, why not get with him sooner or later instead of ‘giving him a week’ or something for him to respond.

Don’t you all agree that Terminator is obvilously the hottest man alive?

Well it looks like Nate covered a lot of ground there. Two things : 1. Why does a seemingly independent woman get more dependent and insecure when she take the tumble, falls in love? 2. Why when you fight nice and stand your ground does she seem to like it.

I got one. What are signs a woman makes when she’s not interested in him, like when they’re on a first date? Or practically anywhere?

I actually know this one. They do it because they can’t help it. It is easy to take care of. Just say that you moved out to get away from Mom, and you know where the door is. I guarantee she will shut up. Some women will take just as much of your freedom, etc as you let them. Shut them down fast and hard.

Hyok, you hit a perfect question! My girlfriend is always complaining that something I do is annoying! Yet, I don’t complain about the little annoying things she does! Great question! I’d love to see that answered.

irondoc, your number 2 is another good one. If I hold my ground in an argument, my girl says that I don’t care about her or that I’m mean or something like that. But if I don’t stand my ground, she’ll call me a little bitch! It’s a no-win situation. Although, I take the “asshole” route now and just stand my ground and put her in her place. I may get criticized for it, but in the end, it seems the best way to go. But I’d certainly like to hear the Gang’s response!

I have my own theory on why women get all bitchy when we stand our ground. Bear with me, because this takes a while. From the time girls begin to develop physically, they realize that guys will do anything to make them happy. I don’t care if you’re the nicest person alive, having people around you who are willing to cater to your every whim will effect your personality. And remember, this starts happening at 11 or 12. So you have these girls, who have grown up with the expectation that guys will knuckle under to their demands. By the time they’re in their 20’s, it seems like the normal pattern in life. Every time they were with someone who didn’t respond to their demands, their friends, and any guys who were trying to get into their pants would tell her that the guy was an asshole, thus reinforcing the behavior pattern. Guy who does what I want = The way things should be. Guy who doesn’t do what I want = Asshole. Of course, there’s no challenge there, it’s easier than housebreaking a puppy. So whenever we do what they want, they’re thinking “He’s just like all the rest. I can bend him to my will. Ho hum.” Of course, when we do stand our ground, we’re upsetting the natural laws of the universe. Face it buddy, we’re screwed. Just hide until it blows over. More often than not, I’ve found that she just needs to vent, and we happen to be the most available target.

Is the idea that many (if not a majority) of women are attracted to " bad boys" a myth or is it true?

If so, why? If not, what do you think has perpetuated the myth?

What is it that the “nice guy” usually lacks? (and PLEASE be more specific than "balls!)

Thanks! Mufasa

I think Chris Shugart already handled the “bad boys” issue in his Big Woof column, Get Laid the Testosterone Way. He interviewed a gang 'o babes for that article. See www.testosterone.net/html/body_93woof.html


(we answered that already!)


OOoopps! Which “Babe” article was it? I’d really like to RE-read it…somehow I don’t remember it!

How about advice on not becoming just a friend ?

I’ve had a few battles recntly that I stood my ground when she was dead wrong. I won’t give you all the details for privacy’s sake, but she calmed down and agreed with me a day later. I think it’s for a few reasonsd: 1. She can fight with you and it will be okay. They hate when you leave. I’ve been a bachelor for a few years, so I have a low bullshit tolerance. I don’t care if a gal is drop dead gorgeous. Aftert all, imagine the skills a highly trained ART guy has. LOL! 2. I’ve lived well on my ownand I don’t need a women to make me happy. I’ve found that a relationship often slows me down. i guess the one that needs less might have slighly more leverage. I treat her well, am very supportive and considerate, buit I don’t take shit. Some normal girly double standard nonsense is okay though.

“How about advice on not becoming just a friend ?”

That's an excellent question, and one I bet the ladies would be challenged to answer.

In addition to the friends question, I would love to see a follow on question of how to save yourself if you’ve accidentally landed in the dreaded “Friend Zone”. There’s got to be some way to recover.

I agree. Standing your ground is the best way to go. In the past, I have not done this, and it only made me miserable. Now that I stand my ground, things are much better. And yes, the next day, she usually admits that she was wrong or overreacted about something.

It’s true, when you know that you don’t “need” someone to make you happy, it’s easier to not put up with the bullshit. I, too, was a bachelor for a long time before I met my current sweetheart. I was happy being single, and if it came to it, I can do it again. So that does affect things. I still don’t like the “double standards” she tends to have about things. And I have teased her about that too! It makes her come to her senses about certain issues. I always give her plenty of love and support, so she knows that I’m there for her. I’ve realized that the main reason she likes to argue is to make a scene and create some drama to prove her own self worth. Women. They do such odd things sometimes.

Why do women feel that they are being “held back” by being in a relationship, even if the guys are not doing anything to hold them back (as the women will admit)? And why does this always happen after they convince the guys to get into a relationship to begin with?