T Nation

Funny things you see at the gym

Thought I’d bring up something I’ve seen at the gym a few times now and never ceases to make me laugh. There are these two women who work out at the gym I go to and they each come in wearing nice pants, wool sweaters, jewelry and tons of make-up and hit the weights. When they’re finished, they put on fur coats and leave. You have to see it to believe it. Mind you, I work out at a Gold’s, but…

I’m happy that they at least work out, but the picture is not pretty. I’ve never seen anyone check their lipstick between sets before.

Anyone else have any interesting stories to add?

The two biggest guys at my gym (by a long long shot) are a great source of entertainment to me.

Never ONCE have I seen these guys squat (or train legs in ANY way whasoever) or deadlift or anything. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen them to a compund lift, ever, excluding bench press (of course).

To top it off, they use the smith machine ALL the time. Military press? Smith machine. Bench? Usually smith machine.

Gee, who’s juicing? No wonder the sad little gimpy frat-boy wannabes think they can get buff as hell by doing curls (in the goddamn power rack!) and bench exclusively.

Alright, not so much funny as “shit that pisses me off”, but whatever. :slight_smile:

The funny-shit-at-the-gym thread is a classic! Always good for a laugh, and always something new to add, since, to paraphrase an old saw, there’s an asshole born every minute. My recent favs:

  1. The other day I saw a dude take a dumbell in each hand, assume a deep static lunge postion so that his back knee was maybe 3 inches off the ground, and proceed to do alternating ballistic hammer curls. What the fuck?

  2. I saw a group of the bench-n-curl retards go through their leg workout. It was the usual – one-eighth squats with way too much weight, wearing belts and screaming the whole way, leg presses done in a similar fashion, and leg extensions. The cool part was that they had a portable stereo that they were carrying around the gym. When they got to the leg extension portion of their workout, they took turns holding the stereo in each others’ faces as it blared the theme music from Rocky. The image of thess fagalas sitting there doing partial leg extensions and screaming their heads off while their partners blare the Rocky music in their faces was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. God, people are tools.

Three young guys working out in the gym, small just starting out, 16-18 years old or so. I think Cool new young-uns to keep the gym moving. Typical work out nothing special. As I’m changing to leave I hear them on the other side of the locker and the conversation was something like this:

“Dude, we own this gym”
“Yeah man, I told you no one here is as cut as us”
“Your the Man”
“No, your the man”

I started laughing out loud and it got quiet over there, I just left.

CGB, what do those chicks wear for shoes? Stilettos?

What pissed me off last night was these two training partners who were doing the bench press. They didn’t seem to be doing the common “upright row-bench press” but were using not one but TWO benches because I guess they didn’t want to be bothered by changing weights at every switch. This btw was at 6 pm on a Monday when the gym is at its busiest.

And Zev, please tell me the guys with the stereo were wearing bandannas, string tanks and clown pants with belt pack.

Waitaminute, I wear a belt pack in the gym…


“Hey, it’s me…yeah…I’m about to work out…but I forgot my lipstick…huh? I KNOW!..How am I goin’ to do the stairmaster without it…?sigh

I once witnessed a guy watching himself play air-guitar in the mirrors between sets. I couldn’t keep focused on my workout.

Derek, was he “wailing?” Was he dressed in all black and did he attempt to totally flip out? If so, you may have a NINJA in your gym!

MBE: “Black belt, no pants. Since 1921.”

ZEV…that has got to be THE funniest thing I have EVER heard before!! “Where’s the shed, cause there’s a tool in here”…hahahaha!
Phatman…that has got to be the 2nd funniest thing I have ever heard. Little punks like that need a reality check. I swear to god, I laughred out loud with those stories guys. Thanks for sharing.

MBE if I had a ninja in my gym that would be TOTALLY SWEET. Everytime he saw some punk curling in the squat rack he could totally flip out!! I think I may have a ninja in my gym because verytime he comes in he porks all the t-vixens!!

Fuck that site is the funniest thing ever.

:slight_smile: Groove

Speaking of Ninjas. I have this guy that comes into the gym and sets up in front of the mirrors by the dumbell rack. Now all he does is meditate and practise martial arts moves. He doesn’t lift any weights and he wears a blindfold the whole time. He props the bench up to a 90 degree angle and leans up against the bench upside down. One time, I tried to ask him 3 times if he was done with that bench and he didn’t even acknowledge me. Pretty strange if you ask me.

Just to set things straight – CGB just can’t seem to let go. I asked him to give up the “porkchop” handle weeks ago, because I started using it here months ago, long before he showed up. I told him, and the rest of the world, that if nothing else, it was confusing to others who read my posts. CGB, by posting as “used to be porkchop,” you are simply perpetuating the confusion. Give it up, wouldya?!

Well, I didn’t think I had anything to add except my love of ninjas until I got to the gym tonight. Actually it didn’t happen until after the workout and I was walking to the changeroom. I saw this guy walking with this other guy. Now the perpetrator is the kind of guy who wears sweatshirts in the gym every day except shoulders and biceps and then he wears the smallest wife beater he can find. Anyways he is talking to this guy who asks him wether he worked out today. He says "oh man I worked legs today. I did squats. It was so hardcore man, I put 2 plates on each side!!!

I don’t know what this guys defintion of hardcore is but thats not it for me. I am also not just ragging on him because he can’t squat very much but because he is always bragging about how strong he is and flexing in the mirrors.

I just thought it was funny to hear his version of hardcore.

:slight_smile: groove

Man… I have been reading some of these posts and they crack me up. I go to a college gym, and one of my favorite things is that no matter what time of day or night the elliptical whirring is always going on. I mean some of those poor sorority girls must eat, study, and sleep on that machine, and well honey by this point you should know that it just isn’t coming off. I have also seen a lot of funny things, but I try not to be a gym snob although I do notice things all the time and think ohhhh my lord what in god’s name is he/she doing. haha. Anyways something that might shock all of you t-men and women is that fact that in all my days in the gym I have yet to see someone (excluding myself) do a ass to the grass squat. In fact being 6’1’’ and doing these gets me a lot of looks and eventually jeers mainly because I can’t do that much weight. But I am content! Keep the hilarious hijinks coming. Peace.

Nothing much out of the ordinary, the normal belter sightings including one doing seated calf raises.

Porkchop, you still around? Look, you’re doing this girl thing again, whining and complaining like a little girl and embarassing yourself.

I had the name with a small p. I posted for months before you told me you had the name with a big p. I changed my name to my initials as soon as I found out. I have developed relationships with people on these boards that I don’t want to lose because of the confusion with a name change, so that’s why I put formerly porkchop in parenthesis. Heck, I have even written the name with a small p.

There are many people on these boards with the exact same name as someone else, with the difference being a hyphen, like pork-chop, TDoc vs DocT, a capital vs a small letter, Powerlifter vs powerlifter etc etc. Now, this issue is unavaoidable on a site like this where you can pick any name you would like. I did not know for several months and dozens and dozens of posts that there was another person on here with a smiliar name. Once I found out, I changed it and I’m letting people know that porkchop with a little p is now CGB. Are you finished yet? What on earth do you want me to do? I used to feel bad about this, but no matter what I say or do, you pop up and have to make a comment that makes me so mad I feel like going back to my old name, just to piss you off even more.

Do you think the people here are so confused with this that they’re up nights worrying? You seem to be the only one who is. This CGB (formerly porkchop) will continue for a few more weeks until I feel people know that I am now CGB. If you don’t have something valuable to add to my posts, please leave. I am more worried about being confused with you than you should be with me. I am going to ignore you now.

There used be to this guy in the gym that would do seated calf raises and he never realized that the little handle in front of him actually turned. So needless to say his range of motion moved about an inch. He would get off after he was done and walk around with this look of excruciating pain. Finally a friend of mine let him in on the big secret that if you turn that little handle some amazing things happen. From there he would do his 15 sets of DB curls with another 15 sets of cable curls and 15 sets on the hammer strength. Then he walked around with the classic case of ILS.

I am currently doing Coach Davies “Real Ab’s” and I look here every night wondering if I’ll see a post about the Dork doing Windmills and Bent Press becuase of all the looks I get when doing them!!!

Hey CGB, you must be the guy wearing the tights and the leg warmers in the south Golds gym! What is the point of those leg warmers anyway? Ha ha I’m just kiddin ya - not about the leg warmer guy though - he’s the coolest!

P§orkchops - I’m not confused. And I don’t think that anyone that has been on the forums for any length of time is confused. As far as newbies - who cares? They won’t know the difference anyway. I say just let it die. We know who you guys are. (Just my humble, unsolicited opinion :))