T Nation

Funny Things Things Do


Some of yall may know me, I go by Beast and I had a hit film a back in the 90s. Anyways I live in this mansion and there's these motherfucking enchanted objects right.

First off we got my main man Lumière- Don't let his fruity name fool you, this little candleholder is a PIMMPP, I have never seen an inanimate object get this much pussy, plus he's straight ballin on fools

Next we got Ms.Potts- She keeps an eye on me and makes sure I don't get into too much trouble, prolly one of the best teapots ever

Right here we got Cogsworth- I consider this mothafucking clock my brother, always there for me and how many of your friends can you always go to for the time, straight up beauty!

Finally we got Chip- My littlest of homies, but this little teacup will fuck your shit up.

I don't like to post too much in your "Funny things that _____ people do," since I don't really like people in general as they be hating on me beastiality with this fine ass broad named Belle.

Attached is a group photo of us



Another example of why Disney and Old School fairy tales are all fucked up. Today this story would take place in Tijuana with a Donkey.

I wonder if they could get Eddie Murph to do the voice-over?


When I was a kid, I was mad when he turned into a human at the end, because he was cool as hell as the beast, all part gorilla part wolf part bison, throwing dudes through the air and switching from four legs to two and sounding like Michael Dorn.


haha, that last line had me crying.