T Nation

Funny Supplement Horror Stories

I thought it might be nice to try to make a few people laugh, with some of my horrible supplement experiences. So here it goes. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, back when I was a newbie, I was searching for a post workout shake. I eventually invested in Twinlab Opti-Fuel 2. I remember the 1st time I tried it. Smelled like vanilla. Mixed it in skim milk. Still smelled like vanilla. Then I tasted it…and proceeded to gag. Talk about the most VILE, FILTHY, DISGUSTING, PUTRID, FOUL tasting concoction ever devised; Yet somehow, I managed to force myself to down it, since I didn’t want to waste the $40-$50 I had spent buying this crap. Sadly, I only managed to get it down one more time. By the 3rd Opti-Fuel shake, I just couldn’t force anymore down and threw away the rest.

2nd silly story: The worst tasting supplement award goes to Opti-Fuel 2. The worst gas-inducing award goes to Larry Scott's 'Hyper Growth Formula' (I know, I know...hey, I was a newbie at the time, and brainwashed by the Larry Scott ads in the muscle mags). Now, I'm a bit on the lactose intolerant side, but I can have some milk everyday and be fine. But the amount of lactose found in Larry's fine protein powder must be unreal. Because never before had I been so gassy. I was the epitome of chemical warfare. Howard Stern's alter ego, Fartman, would have lost to me. My stomach was bloated, churning like a blender all day long. The toxic fumes that came out of me nauseated even ME!

So…anyone else with any funny supplement horror stories?

Well, I had the utter stupidity one time to mix a heaping teaspoon of L-arginine in water and drink it. I suggest you do it, just for the experience alone…or, if you have children who are recalcitrant veggie eaters, just threaten with powdered arginine, and the brussel sprouts will be gone in 2 seconds flat, guaranteed.