T Nation

Funny S**t Overheard in Gym

The gym I train at is pretty diverse. We offer strongman, powerlifting, olympic lifting, bodybuilding, pilates, yoga, kidsfit, basketball, women’s only workouts, cardio, you name it we have it. So you can see and hear all types in the weightroom. I train for strength sports so I’m found on the platform and squat rack primarily. I rarely go over to the dumbbell rack and mirrored areas.

But yesterday while I am resting between set of squats I overhear a conversation about gloves. A guy telling another guy about the merits of his new workout gloves, how he found them on consumer reports as the best model and that at $40 he got a smoking deal. He said his old pair rip easily and must not be designed for hardcore workouts! This is a guy whom I never seen squat, deadlift, clean, or even do bent rows. His workouts consist of partial rep 205 bench presses and biceps.

One more thing, if you bench press less than 200 pounds, never squat deep or deadlift, and weigh less than 150, I do not want to hear about what supplements you are taking! Invest that money in beef, potatoes, milk, and an internet connection so you can learn how to train correctly!

I was finishing off my workout with some weighted dips the other day when a guy in his 40’s I often see strutting around the place in his skin-tight wifebeater(yes, apparently they make those) comes up to me in between sets and asks…
‘‘Whats the idea with the weight?’’
me:’‘To maker them harder’’
guy:’‘Well why don’t you just do more?’’
me:’‘The muscles respond differently, I’m not going to get stronger unless I go heavier’’
guy:’‘uh-huh, yeah I’m sure…’’
Me’’…’’

I’m not sure what he meant by that. It just annoy’s me when people are disrespectful like that.
I know it wasn’t overheard, but I workout with my earphones in so I don’t overhear much and it annoyed me enough that I remembered it when I read the thread.

Like I’ve said before.

Maybe you just don’t look mean enough Jereth. Walk around with a permanent scowl in the weight room and no one says a damn thing to you unless you want them to.

Fucking shit. I hate people. Everyone should fucking die. I should be allowed to kill people.

3 guys are lifting together. one very small guy, who must be the leader and brains of the operation, and 2 unuasually small guys. i wouldnt be surprised if the small guy was 5’8 and maybe 130ish and his friends were 5’10 and the same weight or maybe lighter. all 3 are built like long distance or cross country runners.

they are benching. and the leader says(and this is an exact quote) “i told you guys that i must be loaded with testosterone because my lifts are just getting insane.”

he just benched 125 x 6 and failed going for 7.

next they start curling so close to the dumbell rack that my G/F cant get in to get her dumbells so im trying to squeeze in to grab her weight

when he he says to his 2 buddies. "lifting with all of you girls estrogen around me is really bringing me down, maybe you two should lift together for awhile until your a little more up to my speed.

he was curling 15 lb dumbells. and at that point i had to say something so i said when your done with your curls can you hand me the 25’s my gf wants to do some curls and your in her way. his buddies just laugh at him and he gets pissed and leaves. his friends were infact long distance runners who had never lifted in their life and were pretty cool guys.

Two guys working out together, doing partner lat raises.

One is doing lat raises with the 30’s, while the other is ‘spotting’ him by shoving his hands in the other guy’s armpits and pretty much lifting his arms.

Guy 1: “You feeling it buddy?”
Guy 2: “Lat raises? Not really feeling my lats work though.”
Guy 1: “Try harder then, this is a really good exercise”

I facepalmed…

This newbie, who was wearing “Tapout” camouflaged gym shorts was explaining to another how he was such a bad ass in the octagon. About 20 minutes later, I was watching him in the gym and he was using an assisted pull up machine with 70 pounds counterbalanced…and he was struggling to get a couple of reps.

He then felt the need to stop me, even though I had my hat and I-pod on and explain to me how he is a trainer for the Texas Rangers.

Gotta love em’ though, they help keep the gym in business.

I was doing weighted dips as well and this man tried to engage me (headphones on) in conversation
“Why are you using weight”
(paraphrase me) “heavier = better”
“well be careful you know if you use a weight that’s more than half your bodyweight your body can snap in half!” (Swear to god he was deadly serious)
“OK…”
“I bet you take protein shakes as well… all those steroids are bad for you!”

At this point I invited him to do some dips with me, at which point he discovered a bicep injury (?) that prevented him from doing so (but not doing 10 sets on the bicep machine) and duly left

[quote]Ghost22 wrote:
Like I’ve said before.

Maybe you just don’t look mean enough Jereth. Walk around with a permanent scowl in the weight room and no one says a damn thing to you unless you want them to. [/quote]

You’ve said this to me before…?
Anyways, thanks for that fantastic piece of advice.

This asshole at my gym seems hell bent on getting an ass kiking from me. Every single time I go up to something to start a set, he does the same thing. I go over to the pullup bar, so does he. I go set up the bench for flat bench, ho goes and does the same. Fucking loser does the same shit I do every single time I hit the gym. Why is he always there? Why is he in my garage!!!

V

Here’s another one.

We have a middle-aged man who “mentors” teenage kids to train with. Lately they have all been wearing these aqua sock/sandal shoe things with individual holes for each toe kinda like gloves. I think this is because they been repeatly told they can’t train barefooted. A few months ago they spent an hour just training calves and brought in a massage therapist to stretch/rub their lower leg fascia between sets!

Random guy on a cross trainer tells the manager of my gym that he “never rests more than 30 seconds between sets”. The manager, being an ex-powerlifter, is by now mentally kicking himself in the nuts for striking up a conversation with this guy. I have never seen random guy on anything else but that particular machine, let alone lift.

He also plays Eye of the Tiger on his iPod at an extremely high volume. Well, loud enough for me to make out what he’s listening to, anyway. What’s more, I’ve heard it on more than one occasion, so he may well listen to it on a continuous loop. Survivor is apparently excellent motivational music for low impact cardio.

[quote]Vegita wrote:
This asshole at my gym seems hell bent on getting an ass kiking from me. Every single time I go up to something to start a set, he does the same thing. I go over to the pullup bar, so does he. I go set up the bench for flat bench, ho goes and does the same. Fucking loser does the same shit I do every single time I hit the gym. Why is he always there? Why is he in my garage!!!

V[/quote]

OH SHIT YOU HAVE A DOPPLEGANGER. Or a mirror.

[quote]Crow wrote:
Here’s another one.

We have a middle-aged man who “mentors” teenage kids to train with. Lately they have all been wearing these aqua sock/sandal shoe things with individual holes for each toe kinda like gloves. I think this is because they been repeatly told they can’t train barefooted. A few months ago they spent an hour just training calves and brought in a massage therapist to stretch/rub their lower leg fascia between sets! [/quote]

Those are called Vibram Five Fingers and they are phenomenal footwear. I suggest you try a pair out then when another meathead makes fun of the kids wearing them you can come to thier aid. Dan John gave them his endorsement so if you really need to make fun of them you can do it to his face maybe?

V

[quote]Jereth127 wrote:

[quote]Ghost22 wrote:
Like I’ve said before.

Maybe you just don’t look mean enough Jereth. Walk around with a permanent scowl in the weight room and no one says a damn thing to you unless you want them to. [/quote]

You’ve said this to me before…?
Anyways, thanks for that fantastic piece of advice.[/quote]

He don’t like the Irish dude…you were the scourge of the earth at one time were you not;)

I never seem to overhear much at the gym. I think my eyes see so much stupidity that my ears stop working to save my sanity.

[quote]Xab wrote:

[quote]Vegita wrote:
This asshole at my gym seems hell bent on getting an ass kiking from me. Every single time I go up to something to start a set, he does the same thing. I go over to the pullup bar, so does he. I go set up the bench for flat bench, ho goes and does the same. Fucking loser does the same shit I do every single time I hit the gym. Why is he always there? Why is he in my garage!!!

V[/quote]

OH SHIT YOU HAVE A DOPPLEGANGER. Or a mirror. [/quote]

This was funny … but only to me

[quote]polo77j wrote:

[quote]Xab wrote:

[quote]Vegita wrote:
This asshole at my gym seems hell bent on getting an ass kiking from me. Every single time I go up to something to start a set, he does the same thing. I go over to the pullup bar, so does he. I go set up the bench for flat bench, ho goes and does the same. Fucking loser does the same shit I do every single time I hit the gym. Why is he always there? Why is he in my garage!!!

V[/quote]

OH SHIT YOU HAVE A DOPPLEGANGER. Or a mirror. [/quote]

This was funny … but only to me[/quote]

It wasn’t just you.

Those Vibram Five Fingers shoes are gay anyway you slice it!

I’ve had a guy stare me down my whole workout, when I was doing Deadlifts he would stare at me then whisper to his buddy, then I would go to curls and he would stare and whisper to his buddy, then the mentally challenged ( literally ) trainer came in and they all stared when I was doing preacher curls, and he said something. It was getting creepy, and I know it wasn’t because of my form, that shit was solid.

[quote]Vegita wrote:

[quote]Crow wrote:
Here’s another one.

We have a middle-aged man who “mentors” teenage kids to train with. Lately they have all been wearing these aqua sock/sandal shoe things with individual holes for each toe kinda like gloves. I think this is because they been repeatly told they can’t train barefooted. A few months ago they spent an hour just training calves and brought in a massage therapist to stretch/rub their lower leg fascia between sets! [/quote]

Those are called Vibram Five Fingers and they are phenomenal footwear. I suggest you try a pair out then when another meathead makes fun of the kids wearing them you can come to thier aid. Dan John gave them his endorsement so if you really need to make fun of them you can do it to his face maybe?

V[/quote]

Chuck Norris endorses the TOTAL GYM should I buy that too!