T Nation

Funny AAS Story

Hi bros.

I have just finished 3 years worth of work (my PHD thesis) so naturally I am in a jovial mood. Adding 15kg to my 1RM squat kinda helps too.

I am now looking forward to getting more involved in posting on the board as well as others.

As I am in such a great mood Id like to start a thread inspired by my mate Crazy Dave. After 3 years of being excessively serious Id like to have a laugh with this one

Dave is about 65, basically lives at my gym and totally of his rocker. He is a great guy in great shape but lets him self down with these unbelievable stories and crazy made up exercises he does, having said that you could trust him with your life and he has a heart of gold. Man this guy attaches the low pulley row to his lifting belt with a carabina, stands up facing away from the stack and does these hip thrusts like he is on the job, its all made even funnier when he starts grunting!

Yesterday?
Sat in the changing room having a chat with a couple of the regulars about the juice. Dave pops in.

Transcript.

DAVE: So Mike do you do the old gear then. (volume 100db! He is half deaf so shouts all the time)

ME: Yes mate I have done quite a few short cycles over the past 2 years. I don’t mind talking about it but please keep the volume down.

DAVE: Cycles! I’ve not heard of that one before how much does cycles cost is it a powerful one.

ME: No Dave a Cycle is the length of time someone will take a steroid or combination of steroids for. (Making it as easy as possible for him to understand) It’s not a steroid in it self. (The lads smirking behind his back).

DAVE: Ohhh right? I knew someone who took this steroid, it was so powerful it was only for horses, It costs ?300 (about 500 in US) a shot, this guy took it and it gave him a hardon that would not go away and then he died. (Dave was deadly serious he comes out will all sorts of gems)

ME: (In fits of laughter with half the changing room in hysterics) Dave someone is pulling your leg mate if it was meant for horses it was probably equipoise, Its not that strong, it does not cost ?300 a shot, it shouldn’t give you a permanent hardon and it certainly should not kill you.

DAVE: (A little bit upset but still adamant he was right). Listen boys I’m telling you the truth hear, you may laugh but one day when you’re my age you will understand.

Dave walks off into the gym shortly followed by me, my training partner and the rest of the changing room wiping away tears from laughing so much.

15 minutes passes by. Everybody has calmed down and is focused on their training. My training partner is half way through his set on bench I?m spotting, Dave is doing his infamous hip thrusts with the lower pulley row. He finishes his last rep after a very dubious grunt and turns round to me and blurted out?

Hay mike where can you get that equihorse stuff from I recon it?s worth ?300 to put the wind up the wife one last time.

The lads that had heard the previous conversation were in stitches the rest of the gym had these blank expressions on their faces which was just made things worse. My training partner had to rack the bar and the whole session was thrown out of whack. Still it was worth it for the laugh.

So bros what funny stories you have heard about AAS

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fu*k me…that was some funny shit…

my external obliques are still hurting…the guy needs a medal…and also a dictophone…

buying dictophone - $60
recording and listening to Daves Jokes - priceless

thanks for sharing with us

LMAO

peace

that is too fucking funny. there’s an old guy in my gym, about 65 as well, big mofo, totally retarded with his training methodologies <always uses way too much weight, bad form, and expects too much from his spotters>, and he also lies about everything and always makes up stories.

his name is bill. reading about dave totally reminds me of bill. thing is, i feel kinda bad for bill, as everyone just thinks he’s some old whackjob who spends way too much time at the gym.

i think there’s a ‘crazy dave’ in every cool gym. :slight_smile: