T Nation

Funniest gym stories

There have been two really good posts about stupid things people have seen in the gym. Now some have said that we shouldn’t be making fun of others but I don’t think that it’s all that bad. After all, I think some of the funniest things I have read were on this BB. We are not mentioning names, nor are our comments overly malicious. So in light of this I’m hoping to get some really good replies to this thread.

Other than the usual monkey motion (no offense meant, Monkeyboy Eric), the funniest was this woman who would come in and try to work in with every guy there, spotting on bench. Now that may not sound so bad, but this woman would wear baggy shorts and nothing under them! Advertising, I guess.

Thats HOT!!!

my friend was at a gym once when a guy attempted a new PR in the bench press. he used such a big arch that he blew out his knee. haha!

One time I was working out on a machine, some older lady came by (possibly waiting for me to finish? I dunno she didn’t ask) anyway she leaves all of a sudden.

Then I smell it.

Bad part: I’m the only one left and it starts to smell real bad. Wonder who dun it eh?

Thats HOT!!!

I saw a guy once who obviously read too much Flex. He was wearing one of those denim dungaree-overall type outfits, with a back to front baseball cap, dark shades and two big gold chains while working out. Best part=he was doing those pathetic 10lb/50 rep alternate db curls right up against the mirror with a Billy Idol sneer.

During an after school session in the weight room, many of us were maxing out on the bench. Well, one of my friends was spotting another guy I knew, who was obviously doing too much weight for him, and he pulls out his shit and hangs it in his face while he turns purple under the bench. I was unable to finish the workout i was laughing so hard, and also out of fear…

And Roman, don’t say its HOT…LOL

As a personal trainer, I spend a good deal of time in the gym (mostly ymca’s and family oriented gyms, not hardcore). Consequently, I see many people doing idiotic exercises and routines. I’ve seen a guy working his abs with various exercises while wearing a weight belt. He obviously didn’t realize that it limits his range of motion and muscle recruitment. There’s a guy who does supersets of juggling balls and half jumpinjacks, hilarious. There is the guy wearing a weight belt who does cable curls with all the momentum of a reverse grip power clean, hyperextending his spine about 40 or 45 degrees. I’ve seen guys hitting on girls who have husbands, fiances, or long term boy friends, only to be shot down when they asked the girl out, after 2 or more weeks of flirting. Actually, that last one is pretty sad, not really funny. Then there are the trainers who tell their clients what they want to hear, rather than the truth, " Work the abs, get rid of the belly. Abduction machine (outer hip/thigh) to get rid of fat on your hips." The sad part is these trainers actually know better. Then there are the broomstick trunk twisters, twisting away and taking up valuable space with the propeller-like rotation of the broomstick. All of them have big bellies and love handles. I guess it doesn’t really work. Then you have the 40+ year old guy who have been out of it for 15+ years telling you guys 15-16 years old to do wide grip presses for the “outer chest” and close grip presses for the “inner chest”. Concentration curls for the biceps peak and cheat curls/reverse grip cleans for arm mass, totally ignoring the contribution of the triceps(2/3) to arm mass. Then there are the people who ask a million question while I’m training someone else. I’m in the middle of a training session, and a schmuck will come up and ask me to write a program that will meet his/her goals without having to actually work hard. They ask me to do this whenever I get a chance. Would they go up to a surgeon or lawyer and ask them to perform their services for free whenever they get a chance? Not likely! This is one reason I want to raise the level of professionalism in the personal training profession. Then there the classic bicep, chest, ab trainers. They look so pathetic, but they only see themselves from the front in the mirror. So they never see the forward tilt of their shoulders, the internal rotation of the shoulders, and the increased thoracic kyphosis(hunched over) posture. Oh well, I could write a book. Maybee I should, would anyone out there be interested in reading a book about the stupidity in the gym?

No I wouldn’t, it’s old news. You have a long uphill battle to fight against the ignorance in your profession. I commend you for it. I grieve for people that pay for the services of some of your associates though.

My personal favorite have to be the frat boys that you’ll find at some gyms (and certainly, all college gyms). I work at an off-campus gym, and we have a group of four that comes in (we call them N’Sync!). Anyway, one of them is actually relatively big, so the other three worship him. In the true spirit of Muscle and Fitness, he wrote out a workout for them all to use simultaneously. I took a look at the program. They lift M,T,W, and Th (weekends are free for getting trashed) with a 15 minute walk on the treadmill after one session. Arms and chest on Monday and ThursdaY, Back on Tuesday, Legs on Wednesday (No shoulders). The funniest thing is that all four are doing the same workout and monopolized the same piece of equipment for long periods of time. They actually spent 45 minutes on the preacher bench (and the flat bench is even worse)! While one guy does flat benches with 115, two other spot him, and the other guy does some stupid looking ab exercise (they train abs every day, and often wear belts when doing so). It’s a small gym, too, so people get noticeably pissed. Anyway, one day I was in a pissy mood after a long day of classes (I’m amazed that I’m the same age as them, as they are the stupidest humans I have ever met), and they were pulling their same old bullshit. I was just finishing my workout, and they had been doing barbell cheat curls for about twenty minutes right in the middle of the gym. A couple of high school football players who train heavy all the time were just arriving. I pulled the guys aside and asked them to do me a favor-grab a bar, get right in these guys’ way without saying a word, and start doing power cleans as heavy as possible. I was just curious how the frat boys would react to their actions. Anyway, without saying a word, these kids went over and started. At first, the frat boys started whispering to each other and giggling. They were making fun of them because they had obviously never seen a power clean before! Anyway, after these boys had cranked out a set or two at well over 200 lbs., the frat boys shut up fast and just stood and watched in awe. In fact, they forgot about their workouts altogether, and wound up leaving without completing their session. Funny how they haven’t been back since…probably realized how hopeless they are.

There is a guy in my gym that follows the same routine each day, probably three or four days a week. He uses only machines and he follows the same circuit and does about 2-3 sets per exercise. Okay, that doesn’t sound so bad, right? I mean, sure he could be doing free weights instead of machines, but at least it’s a decent beginner program for someone who doesn’t know much.

Well, the problem is that on every exercise, he uses the most horrible technique I have ever seen anyone use! For example, when he does lat pulldowns, he is yanking the weight, using every possible back bend possible and letting his body go up with the bar and down when he pulls it. But it gets worse. When he does triceps pressdowns, he is bent over pretty far, and he presses the weight using more shoulders and chest. When he does rows on the machine, he has so much back bend that I think he’s about to do a back flip! When he does cable biceps curls, it looks more like some sort of power clean variation. And the same for a few other exercises he does. It’s absolutely crazy! I want to film him one day just to show people what not to do. It is the worst example I’ve ever seen of someone performing those exercises. And people look at him all the time like, “What the hell is he doing?”

Some people just don’t get it. How can you be so ignorant or follow such horrible form and not realize that something is wrong? Sometimes I laugh at him because his technique is so wild that he can’t actually be working the targeted muscle but probably every other muscle! It’s absolutely crazy! And my descriptions do not do justice. You really have to see this guy to believe it.

I train in a gym solely occupied by Olympic lifters so I don’t get to see much of the typical shenanigans that entertain people who know better. I love reading about them, though, so please T-men/women keep them coming, the bizarre the better!

My favorites are my squatting adventure and bicep boy. in my squatting adventure, I asked a guy to give me a spot. I was going to try 300x20 , but decided to stop after 12 when the guy stood in front of me! I politely told him behind me was better. The gym didn’t have a cage. Oh well.
Bicep boy was from chiropractic college. I trained at a commercial gym when in comes this huy that proceeds to do app. 40 sets of bi’s and 40 sets of tris, literally. There was every variation of curl and extension known to man. It was deadlift day. I was about 150 at the time. I was going to do about 350 for ten. I did the set, noticed him staring in awe, but proceeded to go back to the workout. That’s probably why he was about 120 or so at 5’6".

Several years ago I was working out at my old gym on a Saturday afternoon, and there was only three people in the gym-me, the cute instructor behind the desk (whom I had the hots for bad), and this skinny/fat middle-aged guy with grey hair. Anyway I was in the middle of a set of pulldowns and the guy was about two metres behind me doing calf raises. Suddenly I heard these two loud rapid fire farts, like PARP PARP, and I stopped my set and turned around in disgust. I saw this guy, bright red, making his way quickly to the door. He walked straight out and didn’t come back. At first I was furious, because I didn’t want the gym-chick to think it was me, but looking back now it cracks me up. I HATE it when people fart in the gym!

At the 24hr fitness I used to work out in, there was this middle-aged women who was always on the Stairmaster. The problem was that her ROM on the stairmaster was no more than 1/2 inch up and down. She always had the machine cranked up to max and would basically sweat all over the machine while she bounced up and down on top of the foot pedals. It might have been a natural motion if she was jumping rope, but it was definately not the way to use the stairmaster. What is even worse is that no trainer or employee ever talked to her once. I’ve seen her do this at least 50 times. Just goes to show you what quality trainers you find at 24hr.

I saw a guy at the gym last week. He had his walkman on and he was dancing to the music( It sounded like Rob Zombie)!!! Then he went to the scale. Before he got on the scale, he had to make sure it was perfectly zeroed. Then he got on, with his weight belt, workboots, sweatpants, sweatshirt and walkman. Good thing he got his exact weight!

I’m glad I train at home.

Ugh, these bring back ALOT of memories.

  1. We had a pretty regular night crowd at this Bally’s I went to 6 years ago (Bally’s is the best place to watch for this kinda of shit) anyways, there was this guy in his late 50’s who was fat, bitter, and AWFUL in terms of form. This guy wore the same clothes everyday: dirty, sweaty, sweat pants, weight belt regardless of excercise, headband, wristbands, and a red or black T-shirt with the words “Body by Jack” (not JAKE, JACK. He went to a mall and had his NAME printed on these T-Shirts!) One day, a friend of our was using a 15 lb weight for something and she put it on a bench for a second to take a break between sets. Well ol’ Jack practically runs over and swips the weight and starts walking off with it as fast as possible. She barely stops him and he begins yelling about how it’s his now becuase she put it down. We find out a few minutes later when she’s bitching about it and we go have have a little talk with him about ediqutte and tell him to leave her the fuck alone from then on. He gets all jacked up about it and storms off. Later on as he’s going up the steps and we’re going down, my partner whispers to him, “We’ll fix your little red wagon GIMP.”, and continues walking down the stairs like nothing happened. (Keep in mind this is an open area gym and it’s packed (6pm)) He has a HUGE fit and starts yelling as loud as he can, “WHAT! WHAT! YOU GONNA KICK MY ASS BIG MAN??! YOU GONNA KICK MY ASS! HUH?! HUH?! DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID TO ME!!?”. We glanced back and kept walking along with the others on the steps and snickered along with the 300+ people who watched him make an ass out of himself.

Funny enough, I went back to that gym like 4 months ago (6-years- later) and he was wearing the SAME clothes, had the SAME shitty form, and the SAME fat body. I make eye contact with him and shot hima wink and a smile and he just looked at me blankly for a few seconds until the recogition set in to which he promotly looked away. I've got a dozen of these stories..

I started going to an expensive gym a few months ago and at first didn’t think there was much of a benefit in the extra cost, but although there are a lot more clueless richguys, the scumbag factor has really been eliminated. Plus my girlfriend doesn’t get Eyeballed anymore by Troglodytes.