T Nation

Funniest Gym Memories


#1

I know there have been some threads similar to this, such as dumbest personal trainer lines, but i think this one enters a category of its own,

I do not know what reminded me of this one guy from the gym but I just have to share it with you guys,

To paint a picture, this guy was about 6'1, 210lbs, shaved head, wears glasses, has a distuguished beer gut (not huge but its getting there), about 25-30 years old, tanned skin,

I have seen him about 3 times at the gym, he goes and does curls with poor form, way too heavy for him, then he puts them down and breathes heavily like a bull, and then he will look away from the mirror and you'll see him catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror and turn quickly and point at himself in the mirror and say 'YOU!, YOU!', and examine himself and walk to another machine backwards while maintaining eye contact with the mirror, its like this guy was looking into some special mirror that displayed a picture of a person worth looking at in that way, i know the mirrors are there for the purpose of maintaining form but ofcourse you like to see yourself but to make a public mockary of yourself when you have the figure of an overweight woman it is not the time,

even writing this story out is making me laugh again,

I can only hope I painted the picture well enough so you guys can see what I found myself laughing in the middle of some of my sets when I would see him do this,

Anyone else have something similar to this?


#2

You should'a tossed a dumbbell right behind him when he was walking backwards.


#3

One time I was at the gym and this guy, looked like a total geek, was there with this pretty good looking blonde. It was obvious they were both very inexperienced when it came to lifting, but he thought he would impress her by acting like he knew what he was doing.

So they head over to the squat rack to do some squats. He puts a 5lb plate on either side of the bar and begins to instruct her on how to do a squat. "Put the bar on your back here. Put your feet apart, like this." All that kind of stuff. I figure he is telling her all of this so she can then get under the bar with the 5lbs on either side and try some squats. Nope.

This guy gets under the bar and starts squatting, well, kind of. His body starts swaying side to side and he looks like he could fall over at any moment. The weight of the bar was just too much for him, that was obvious, but he somehow got through about 8 reps without falling over and even managed to re-rack the bar.

So now this girl gets up under the bar. She positions it on her back, un-racks it, and begins to do halfway decent squats with no sign of strain whatsoever. After she does about 10 reps she re-racks the bar and says to the guy "I think I can do more weight."

Classic.


#4

Here is one unforgettable memory from training in the gym last summer. I was resting for a few minutes between sets and was chatting with my friend who works at the gym (L.A. Fitness) as a personal trainer. So, there is a fight that suddenly breaks out in the b-ball court. My trainer friend quickly sped over as did one of the other gym workers. I was left confused for a second as to why he just simply ran off until I saw him talking to a guy as

they were walking away from the b-ball court. This man was about 30, bald head, 5'8-5'9, with a big gut, and not athletic looking. And all that I heard from their conversation as they walked by me was the man saying, "But he called me FAT!" I just immediately started smiling and wondering as to how this tough looking man sees himself in the mirror on a daily basis. I'll never forget it! LOL


#5

This one time, I was at the gym doing deadlifts. Then I saw this guy doing something stupid -- he obviously didn't know what he was doing. What a newbie.

Then I remembered that I used to do stupid shit and I never saw results for years. In fact, most of my funniest gym memories come from thinking back to some of the stupid shit I used to do and stupid advice I used to give to my friends. Sure, making fun of the newbies you see in the gym is fun, but how many of us can honestly say that we've never done anything that an experienced lifter would find hilarious?

I remember that, for the first couple of years that I worked out, I used the flat bench backwards -- with my head on the small pad for the butt and my neck over the gap between the two pads. Eventually, the school trainer, who was actually a quite built female (and the daughter of a famous CFL player), finally came up to me and told me politely how stupid I looked.

I know, not the most hilarious story... but I'm mostly amused at some of the training programs I used to do as a newbie. Surely some other people have a lot better newbie stories about themselves?


#6

One time, I saw this kid doing good mornings with 155 lbs on the bar, and after he re-racked the bar, I saw him waddling as fast as he can over to the bathroom. He was in there for a few minutes.


#7

The sad thing is that I picked up on that reference.


#8

Yep, so did I.


#9

At the gym I train at, all the pieces of gym equipment are enumerated to make it easier for the noobs to find because they usually don't know their proper names.

Anyways, I once saw this scrawny kid walking around with a generic training program made by the gym owner indicating which "number" to go to.

This kid gets to the standing calf machine, looks at it for a few moments trying to figure out what it was for, then lowers the shoulder placement by 2 feet, wedges himself under it and proceeds to do leg presses.

I actually LOL when I saw this, though I quickly composed myself and told him his error.

I usually never correct anyone or give any unsolicited advice, but this kid was obviously lost and needed guidance.

He actually apologized to me for doing it wrong and told me that it was his first time in a gym - No shit.


#10

I didn't. Can someone explain?


#11

http://www.T-Nation.com/readTopic.do?id=1011990


#12

My favourite gym memory was of this guy doing sit-ups on the decline bench and his friend would stand at the foot of the bench and they would play patty cake as the guy did his sit-ups. These guys were also talking very excitedly about their upcoming "spa day".


#13

Hahaha, I think they do that here a lot in Korea... I just don't know how to translate "patty cake". I'll listen hard and get back to ya!

OK, I used to be the inflated ego guy back in highschool, lifting too much weight with bad form like all my friends did. Nothing that funny about it, just stupid.

Now something I see often, Korean guys can be pretty competative, and when they see me lift, they'll try to mimic the sets and reps even if they're of much smaller builds. After setting my dumbells down after curls, this guy tried to pick one up in each hand, got em up to about his shins, then dropped them down. Then he put both hands around one dumbell and proceeded to lift it... it wasn't a curl in any way, but he lifted it for about 5 reps and put it down. I've seen some guys try to dl the same weight that weigh half as much as I do and blow out their backs. Basically, lots of guys have come to the gym once and tried to mimic myself or some of the other stronger members, and never seen em again after they obviously injur themselves and their pride... this is the silliest thing imo... but many of us get a nice body partly or in full as an ego thing... just need to know how to keep the ego in check so we don't injur ourselves.

Oh, and many people love that machine I've never used that spreads your legs wide apart and you contract to a closed straight-leg position. It's situated behind the treadmills and the treadmills face windows, so sometimes when a gal's using the machine, there'll be guys walking backwards ^^

Also classic is when people are flirting in the gym and get injured because they forget they're lifting lots of poundage.


#14

Here's some of mine:

There was this mountain of a guy, a bit of a mountain/metrosexual hybrid. Doing standing biceps curls with dumbbells, each time he lifts one he kisses his biceps. and keeps looking in the mirror, going "you can do it, you can do it..."

Then there was this other guy who was benching about 200 pounds. The benches were arranged along a big window that leads out to the carpark and spans across the whole wall.
When you lay down, the window is behind your head. So, the guy finishes his final rep, and misses the "hooks" or whatever you call them. The bar flew crashing through the window and rolled down the carpark.

And finally, a personal one: back when I was a scrawny little shit, I was doing incline presses one day... about 100 pounds I think. This goddess of a woman walked by me, about 5 meters away from me, I looked at her, she looked at me and smiled.

I lost focus and dropped the bar on my chest. In my attempt to redeem myself I tried to jerk it up, but the bar ended up falling on the floor sideways, plates all over the place. She laughed as hard as my friends nearby.


#15

I've got one:

  1. This one happened in my garage so there were no witnesses that I had to kill..I had this habit, born out of laziness, to unload 2 plates at a time in an effort to minimize my trips to the weight tree..well one night I was unloading the bar after doing inclines and spaced on what I was doing. I thought I had already unloaded 1 of the 2 plates on one side and had gone to the other side and took off 2 plates at once. Well, as I would find out, I hadn't taken a plate off the other side and as soon as the plates I was unloading cleared the tip of the bar it shot up like a fucking missile. the 2 plates on the other side slid off the bar crashing onto the bare concrete floor 5 feet below. The end of the bar closest to me hit a light fixture breaking both flourescent tubes, showering me in glass and leaving me in total darkness. The bar then crashes to the floor and what's more, startled by what had just happened, I DROP the 2 plates I had just unloaded.

But it gets better.

I was training barefoot and in the split second between the glass breaking, it going dark, and me dropping the plates I realize that I cant move my feet lest I step on all the broken glass. So I stood there frozen in the dark praying like a maniac that the 90 pounds of iron I just dropped wouldn't land on my bare feet. Now I have to divots in the concrete spaced a neat 7 feet apart to remind of what a complete nimrod I was.

aaah.. goodtimes


#16

mrdav2u, you have a real way, of telling a story... good one.

What comes to my mind, is that guy. That guy we all see variations of in our gyms. That guy in my gym, is a small size guy, he wears a baseball hat, long pants and what looks to me like a sweater. He doesn't exactly swagger, but he walks with a little extra confidence and moves about the gym with his hands in his pockets, without lifting much weight. He does travel from here to there, and occassionally picks something up, but more often glances at himself in the mirror, adjusts his hat, and puts his hands in his pockets. Then, he's gone. When I see him now, I just think... 'hey, I might be a dumb noob, but AT LEAST I AM NOT THAT GUY!

\|/ 3Toes


#17

the first few times i tried a smith machine shrug, i was standing on the outside. i could not figure out how to keep the bar from locking into place, needless to say it had me all hunch backed. i dismissed the machine as junk for several weeks. after trying it again just to make sure, i noticed the guy next to me doing shrugs as well but he was standing inside. duh.


#18

I normally don't pay much attention to anyone while working out, unless I am doing cardio, then I stare at everyone.

Occasionally, during my early morning sessions there is a kid that comes in that can't be more than 21. He does wear an oversized Tommy Hilfiger sweater sometimes (as 3 Toes mentioned above), huge sweatpants (so do I though), and perfectly white sneakers.

His workout routine is as follows.
-4 Horrible pull ups
-A set of alternating dumbbell curls
-A set on the life fitness seated bench press
-2min 30secs on the recumbant bike

Not to mention he walks around the gym aimlessly with what can only be considered a completely obnoxious, Eminem like swagger where he starts by rotating the left side of his body backwards, takes a small step forward while holding his crotch and proceeds to fling the left side of his body forward. Needless to say it is a great way to start the morning


#19

Well, I spoke too soon. I submitted that post, headed out to the gym, and promptly became that guy.

I don't know what was wrong, but I just couldn't get it together. I was failing at rep 6 where I should be able to crank out 8. I nearly clocked myself with a dumbell. I suddenly popped back into reality, sitting on the edge of a bench, picking a callous on my hand, with a pair of dumbells at my feet. I couldn't even remember what exercise I had been doing with them. I had to look back at the bench, to see if it was flat or upright.

I pretty much finished the workout anyhow, looking forward to a hotub afterwards. Then... I look out the window, and there is a fucken yellow school bus emptying out with children. So, these kids are going to be in the changing room while I am changing, and screaming with that high pitched scream that I can't stand in the pool.

My first reaction ( skipping the hot tub is NOT an option ) is to RUN for the changing room. Then, I think, they'll be a few minutes ahead of me, I can just wait them out, no problem. So, when I get to the changing room, they are already in the pool. BUT... there is another group, who have gotten OUT of the pool, and are getting dressed.

I often forget what set I am on while resting, but this was crazy. I guess it was just one of those days.

\|/ 3Toes


#20

Well, this was one of my brighter moments a couple years ago. I work out before work , so when I wake up in the AM I grab my bag and my work clothes and head out the door. So, one day I get my lift on, go take a shower, and start to get dressed. Lo and behold, I forgot my drawers, so I figure I just need to free-ball.

As I am walking out of the gym, I see my underwear laying on the ground about three feet from the front door. I picked them up, sniffed, and KNEW that was all me (j/k on that, obviously I just left them and wondered aloud what d-bag leaves his underwear in front of the door).

That, and the time I forgot I was wearing white shorts and jumped in the pool to swim one day...