T Nation

Funeral Attire


#1

Im in the unfortuante position of needing to buy a suit for a funeral. Ive done some reading, it appears a charcoal suit, white shirt & subdued tie is the way to go. Any advice?

Checking my wardrobe, my old black suit no longer fits, im thinking charcoal suit, white shirt & dark grey tie. That or a black shirt...

*shrugs

Hopefully theres more fashionable blokes on here than me...


#2

sadly I have gone to a few in my time.
most of them were informal, just where "sunday church clothes"

something respectful,tastful,nothing loud or flashy.

yes a charcoal suit white shirt and dark subdued tie works well.

but most the ones I have gone to we were all poor people we just wore our nicest clothes, shirts with collars,nice pressed slacks that kind of thing.

think bussinessware I guess
really dosent matter what you wear I guess what maters is you are their paying respects.


#3

Charcoal suit & grey tie too much grey?


#4

Can i wear a shirt with a pocket?


#5

I'd opt away from the black shirt.

Black or charcoal suit, immaculate white shirt...any dark tie would do.

Sorry to hear that you have to buy these things


#6

Thanks all - missus grandma died Dec 23 - they were pretty close.

Tough bitch had 2 strokes & a heart attack - spent 9 hours on the kitchen floor before she was found. Also got 2 broken ribs & fractured verterbrae in the fall. Spent a week in hospital & was recovering well - docs were prepping her re-hab - she was fine 1 hour & gone the next...


#7

My Great Grandmother passed away recently. I wore a black suit jacket, white shirt, my very best blue jeans, black belt, black boots, and I forgot which tie I wore. Funerals are for the living so just dress respectfully and try to enjoy visiting with the relatives.


#8

Woah... that's a strong woman...

And yes... black is standard... but charcoal adds a little more warmth... nice white shirt as well... something comfortable, and respectful looking...


#9

1) If this will be the only suit you own for suit-appropriate occasions, you might want to try to figure out which of the following you look best in -- dark charcoal suit, dark navy suit, dark brown suit, darkish tweed suit -- and buy that.

2) If realistically possible, get a tie in a conservative pattern with colors as per the following:

2.1) one color that "matches" the suit (this color within the tie can be darker or lighter than the suit, but should not "clash" with the suit -- e.g. if the suit is navy, then the tie's blue should not have any visible purple-ishness nor greenishness that is not present in the suit)

2.2) one or more other colors that you look good wearing (do not make your face look washed out, etc.), and also look good with the suit; preferably including some shade of blue or green if the suit is solid charcoal or solid dark brown

2.3) inclusion of bright color(s) in the tie is ok, as long as the tie's dominant colors are subdued

3) If the suit is solid charcoal or solid dark brown and the tie meets both criteria 2.1 and 2.2 above: I think the ideal shirt would be white or off-white with stripes or small boxes that are one single conservative color that matches one of the colors in the tie.

Probably best if the stripes or boxes on the shirt match the blue or green that is in the tie; second best if the stripes or boxes on the shirt match the suit color (gray or brown); probably too flashy-looking if the stripes or boxes on the shirt are red, orange, or yellow.

But if the suit is navy or tweed or not solid; or if the tie does not meet both criteria 2.1 and 2.2 above; or if an appropriate matching stripe-pattern or box-pattern shirt cannot be found: then the best shirt is probably solid white or solid off-white, depending on what makes you look better but also depending on what can be found.


Sorry if all that sounds gay, but if you are going to drop a bunch of money on a suit you might as well try to look good.

Sorry about your loss.


#10

Damn thanks NR - thats suit-buying 101, we should start a new thread based on that post alone.

Funerals booked for New Years Eve...


#11

I think that perhaps I am from an old fashioned train of thought. But I would never consider wearing anything but black or dark grey and perhaps a small amount of white (in blouses or patterns) to a funeral. It is the easiest and most proper way to be self effacing and honoring of your departed.


#12

Went to a funeral in summer 2006 for a Marine friend. I dressed up, everybody else didn't except the family. Was embarrassing.


#13

Fuck everyone else. Better to be overdressed than underdressed.


#14

Lots of good advice already here.

I would only add that if you are buying a suit for the occasion. Try to get something you can use for other occasions. Black pretty much says funeral. Unless it is a Tuxedo and you don't want to wear a tux to a funeral.

Also any dark suit color would be appropriate. You will probably be the best dressed one there anyway. Personally I prefer dark blue or navy. Navy blue almost looks black anyway. Choose a color and tone that suits your skin color.

I have only been to a few funerals but nobody seemed to be paying much attention to what everyone was wearing.

The closer the relation the better you should be dressed.

Nice that you want to be respectful.

Sorry to hear of your loss.


#15

True that - anyone that has enough time to think about being the fashion police has no right to be there...


#16

Dark suit, white shirt, conservative and preferably dark tie.


#17

Sorry to bump this old post, but figured better than starting a new one. I just found out i will be attending a funeral on Thursday, The only suit i own has faint pin strips in it (Coat and pants). Are pin strips ok for a funeral? or should i go buy a new one?


#18

If you are wealthy enough that a nice new suit is a trivial expense then you should buy a new suit, shirt, and tie combo that has no stripes or patterns on the suit; no stripes or patterns on the shirt; and no colors other than black, gray, and white: just for funerals, to show respect in a manner that is proportionate to your means.

If you are not wealthy enough that a nice new suit is a trivial expense, and the suit you own is in good condition and conservative-looking: I think the faint pin stripes should be fine. If somebody thinks they aren't fine, you should get that person to buy you a new suit.


#19

last funeral i went to was my friends dad, i just wore a button up and some slacks.

then one of the guys asked if i was a palbearer cause i "looked like i could"

i dont think you need to go out and buy a new suit just for a funeral. wear something casual and darker, you dont want to wear a salmon polo with the color popped. if the stripes are faint its all good, its more important that you just look nice and arent scrubbin it.