T Nation

Fucking Jared

Sat afternoon I go to this health and fitness expo at the convetion center (sponsered by Ballys and Subway, that should have been a fucking sign!), and who do they have there, Jared from the Subway comercials. He is still a soft fat fucker. What is worse, he is a cocky soft fat fucker! He does not exercise anymore, and the most he ever did was walk a little. The guy looks like shit and has the nerve to ask me if I want his autograph! What the fuck, because you went on a starvation diet I should want your autograph and a picture! I cannot wait untill his 15 mins are up!

Here! Here!

You shoulda grabbed a handfull of his flabby, Ric Flair Man titties. Woulda made it all worth it.

"MB Eric: Even when the cold virus isn't penetrating his system...he's one sick f'er since 1654."

-Eric

HAHAHAH, if I would have seen that guy, and he was a cocky asshole, I would have had to try real hard not to kick his ass. I hate all those stupid Subway commmercials…they are just another example of shitty advertising and media that misinforms the dumbass public. Let me take Jared to the gym for a leg day and we’ll see how well his Subway veggie delights and non-exercising flabby ass hold up then.

I am glad to see there are others that feel the same way about this dork. Bottom line is before he was a big fat dork, now he is a smaller fat dork. It drives me absolutely crazy that Subway is trying to sell their shitty sandwiches as a weight loss aid. I could go on a two Big mac a day diet and lose some fat and a ton of muscle but that doesn’t make it in the least bit healthy or attractive. That little pipsqueak needs to get his cocky little veggie sub eating, no muscle whatsoever ass off of TV. But he’s probably making some fat checks from Subway so can’t say that I blame the guy too much. Anyway just thought I’d put in my two cents and get a little daily venting out of the way. Fuck off Jared!!

This is where I gotta hand it to Bill Phillips (as much as there is a lot of Bill-bashing here) – at least he got a lot of people into the weight room. He told everybody that if you have thus-and-such shape, and you walk and diet, you’ll be a smaller thus-and-such shape.

ya I also hate “clay henry” the new subway dude. I would however nail the chick who lost 70 + pounds though, she aint half bad since her subway diet.

I think of Jared when I go to Subway every once in a while. That’s just one reason I order the turkey breast on whole wheat with double meat, no mayo, no oil. Jared is an inspiration of a sort…he’s one of the guys I don’t want to be like.

Shit, Jared is a pimp. You see how that chick wants a hot beef injection from him in the commercial.

On a serious note though, I had two friends who went on a starvation diet. One went from roughly 305 to roughly 185 in about 8 months. He looks a lot better obviously but he has the body of a freshman in highschool. The other lost roughly 50 pounds. She gained it all back and is now trying again to lose weight. This is accomplished by exercising everyday and not eating anything. I just don’t try to tell them anything because in their minds since it worked once it will work again.

JARED RULES!!!

All right KayRob. You in bad trouble now little man. Nobody but nobody insults The Jared. Got that little puke boy? Call me soft huh? I can do more isometrics than you ever knew existed butter ball. Call me soft again and I might just have to put a foot long club with extra jalapenos up your ever-widening glutomus maximilius. Go back to snorting Testosterone you genetic silk worm.

I always laugh at Jared when I see him on the tube. I’ll bet he didn’t take his shirt off. I alway wonder if he had all that exta skin surgically removed. He must of had 25 pounds of extra skin after dropping all that weight. Still I think I would have had my photo taken with him. Of course I would have taken my shirt off, autographed it and given him a copy!

Jared truely IS one hell of a mess of a big pussy, and that is a pussy that I would never munch. I would love for this guy to get real fat again…haha!!

You have to admit, he is a good looking guy…he makes Brad Pitt look like an arm pit!

I lived in the same dorm as Jared at Indiana University and all I can say is that his transformation is amazing. He used to wear the same Indianapolis Colts jersey everyday because that’s the only thing he could find that was big enough. It was actually pretty sad. Nevertheless, it’s wrong of Subway to promote his “diet” as healthy.

The worst part is that I talked to a guy from school who still keeps in touch with Jared and he said that Jared has made over six figures doing those stupid commercials and personal appearances!

Tony, is that really you? How have you been? Did you ever make it out of Freshman PE?

I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but here goes… I’m proud of the guy. Should he be cocky? No, and neither should I or anyone else - no matter what our accomplishments. Should he be proud of himself for losing so much weight? Absolutely. Did he have more willpower than 90% of the people on this website while losing weight (whether you’re losing weight or gaining weight)? Yes. If that last question made YOU all cocky and think that you have more willpower, why don’t you ask Chris Shugart and the rest of the T-mag staff how many lameass people they have to deal with. Was he, unfortunately, not educated properly on how to exercise or lose weight properly? Yes. Why is it the “educated” and “enlightened” like to look down on the uneducated, call them names, and derive their self-esteem from simple knowledge? I don’t know, but it’s sad. As Tony mentioned, bash Subway all you want for idiocy, but give Jared a little bit of credit for actually applying what little knowledge he had. If someone had given him all the “ingredients”, I’m sure his combination of willpower and action would have been truly spectacular.

Yeah I think people need to lay off Jared. More power to him. As long as he’s happy who really cares. Why do people here seem to resent the attention Jared gets? Do we work out to get on TV? Just relax.

Hey, more power to anyone that can make the kind of transformation that Jared did. But if you are going to go in public and promote a diet ( or any fitness product), I feel that you have a responsability to be informed and not push bad advice that can damage peoples health. This obviously is the fault of Subway more than Jared, but this also goes for all the infomercials making false promises. Unfortunatly as long as people want to do what Jared did but do not want to educate themselves, or put in the work, they will always be around.

Thank god for mass public misinformation. If everyone who attempted a body composition program was succesful, my looks might be considered more average and normal.

I feel like that chick in the commercial right now. I LOVE YOU, JARED! Your picture is on my refrigerator!

Yeah. Preach on, Brother Jared!

Bob, that was funny stuff.