T Nation

Fucked-up true roomate stories

This is a recount of a true story that happened to guy that lived in the dorm-room across from mine. It was the first night he and his roomate retired for the day. The lights had been turned out for about a couple minutes, then his roomate shouts,“STOP DOING IT”. A few minutes later he yells again, “STOP DOING IT” so he ask the guy, “Doing what?”, the roomate replies ,“STOP DOING IT, I KNOW YOUR DOING IT.” A couple minutes later the roomate yells, “I SAID STOP DOING IT, I GOING TO TELL THE RA”. The guys is thinking by now, shit this guy is really trippen… Anyways, it turns out that it is standard for the little red light to blink on and off on a smoke detector every few minutes, apparently the roomate thought the guy was doing it, to keep him awake.

A friend of mine used to go to VA Tech, and his roommate was all about hair care products. The guy had a bottle of hair spray that was pink and the size of a scuba tank. I shit you not, I saw it when I went to visit him. And the guy had a stain on his bed where his head rested. My friend constantly had to pop open the window to let the room air out because of the fumes.

Ah, roommates. I had two roommates as a freshman. All three of our beds were in the same big suite, and there was no privacy whatsoever. One of them had a friend visiting from Rutgers, and was promising him that he would hook him up with a girl. It was the last night the friend was in town, and my roommate had not delivered on the promis. So, he decided to call a girl that he slepted with on the first day of school, thinking, correctly, that she was easy. A few minutes later, she comes over, then a couple of minutes later, my roommate’s friend is making out with her on the bed. All the while, I’m trying unsuccessfully to get some sleep–it was 2:00 a.m. Apparently, my roommate, being a loyal friend and all, wanted to make sure that his buddy used protection, but he didn’t know if it was too late or not. So, what did he do? He reached down and groped, and found that the two were already…uh, “joined.” So he put the condom on himself and started to make himself a nuisance. My other roommate was getting busy with a fraternity little sister. As the lone man out, my roommate was shuttling back and forth between the two beds, asking, mostly for comic effect, if the girl would suck him off while doing the other guy. Of course he got rejected each time. After awhile, his visiting friend was finished and my roommate took over, almost in mid-hump. The visiting friend came over to me and asked, “Hey, Hyok. Do you wanna do her too?” I politely decliined.