T Nation

Frustration

Hey all,I just have to vent,you know after 3 years of dating my girlfriend,and trying to do the best I could,and helping her change career.
So now she is finally in a job she enjoys and guess what? I get the push in other words I am no loger required.
Is that how things are? I never mistreated her or abused her,I only tried to do my best in everything I could to help her,and after two and a half years I am dumped by a phone text message.
Anyone else suffered a similar thing?
Because it sucks big time,How did you all get through this?

That sucks, but learn from it. Don’t get attatched to someone who is not yet comfortable with themselves or their situation.

Ritalin. Zombify her for your piece of mind.

Life is hell. Have you seen the movie “Anger Management?” Life is exactly like that, except with no validating catharsis or cleansing resolution. I’m sorry your girlfriend dumped you, but you’re better off without her. That may sound harsh, but it’s true.

“Hell is other people.” --Sartre

The ritalin comment was meant for the guy bitching about his 2 year old. Don’t know how it ended up here.

GFTOW. :slight_smile:

Call it a learning experience. In the meanwhile, try to vent it without making any human casualties or collateral damage (find an outlet to your anger/moods. Sports, writing it off, video games, rants in a forum ;0)).

For the next chick, take a ‘checkbook’ point of view (not just monetary, includes everything important like time together, interest in the other, sex, giving, bringing something new/investing into the couple, etc.). Depends on your values, obviously.

If what you give does not balance with what you get, stop giving on the spot when the situation looks too much like red tape. You’ll probably get a speech, so you expose what you feel is an imbalance (or lack of respect) based on FACTS (what you did, not what you think the situation should be or what you feel), look out for how much the other wants to invest back. That’s how you separate a ‘taker’ from a ‘giver’ from a ‘balanced’.

Will she try to point a finger back at you, call you names? Maybe. You are just trying to evaluate if fairness/consideration exists in your relation. 1) You don’t have to call the (red tape) shot until you have proof of it. Until then, give her the benefit of the doubt. But 3 strikes, you call. Personnally, I go for a 2 strike-1 call (I do not believe in coincidences). The best is 50/50, including first date if you doubt she is a golddigger. 2) Whether you want it or not, you have something in your conscience that automatically adds up plusses or minuses, and it impacts on your self-esteem. So you do it unconsciously anyway. 3) What’s wrong of having a ‘quality control process’ for your self-esteem and the relationships you enter? The only assholes who are against it are takers. Nodoby who has equality and fairness in their values will oppose the idea.

A couple of scenarios on the red tape call. A) GOLDDIGGER. Dump her (if you are the correct type), or fuck her until she wakes up (in this case she’ll go dig gold elsewhere or (MAYBE) start thinking of somebody other than herself because she really does not want to lose you - you never know until then). B) EMOTIONAL OUTBURST. See this as a smokescreen (agenda changing maneuver). This does not change facts. If she does not want to take responsibility for her behavior, don’t waste your time and dump her. Respect yourself. You can’t change people. They only do it when it really counts. C) PROMISES. Yeah right. Maybe. Just be sure behavior follows intentions. Don’t stop your accounting in the meanwhile.

BOTTOM LINE: Respect yourself. Base your analysis on FACTS (reality). Don’t wish for something else than you see. If you don’t like what you see, grab your balls and go out there and find it. Sure, this viewpoint will weed out tons of ‘takers’, but who needs them anyway? Just don’t get desperate in the meanwhile. With enough time, you will find your dreambabe. Trust me. =0)

Dumping anybody with a text msg is fucking weak, especially after 2 yrs!

Forget about her completely. You don't want to be with somebody that operates that way. Spineless bitch!

Plenty more fish in the sea :)

So there are ~6 billion people in the world. More than half are women, so >3 billion. Take one away; THERE ARE STILL >3 billion WOMEN OUT THERE!!! Get a fishin pole and some good bait, cuz there are plenty more fish in the sea :slight_smile:

oops I mean 3 yrs. Just correcting myself :slight_smile: