T Nation

?? from the relationship expert

That muscle girl is acting real weird. I wonder who she knows & what they told her? We talked online all summer & from about march until a couple weeks ago we were getting along ok but then she started blowing me off & avoiding me etc. I’m sure she was getting it from a bunch of other guys all along so I don’t think that’s the problem. I also thought maybe I was bugging her so I gave her a week & a bit off & then this morning she didn’t even respond when I said hi (just like the last time). What’s the deal? I’m still on her mail list & she hasn’t blocked me or anything so I don’t get it.

Have you actually met her? Is she just ignoring you online? If you haven’t met her, I would hazard to guess she found another guy. It’s always possible you did something to piss her off or she’s just moody, but another guy would be the most plausible reason IMHO.

Is this the bus girl? Either way, Maybe she was away from the computer. I had the same thing happen to me heaps, and it was coincidence [apparently- nah it definetly was :)]. Also maybe it wasnt her on the computer I frequently jump on the computer when my brother is away and leave him logged into a chat line if hes waiting for something or someone to tell him something. OTher not so nice possibilities… someone was there when you tried to talk to her and she didnt want that person to see her talking to you(another guy maybe) some punks told her that you were a mass murder or have syphilis or something.

No it’s not the bus girl. I remember posting something about a girl @ school drinking some kind of green liquid & everyone said just ask her so I did. That’s the one I mean. So I did & then she wanted my email address, phone #, told me to download MSN messenger, & she even came over to work on our ‘physical chemistry’ labs (but I didn’t clue in until afterwards that she didn’t mean the coursework) Anyway we used to hang out when @ school because we were in the same classes & then all through the summer we talked online. Now she changes her settings to away or busy when I login & doesn’t even respond when I just say hi. :frowning:

Now I get it, she must have found another guy. Her handle a a week or 2 ago was ‘i think i better shave it first’ & later, ‘yippy yippy yippy…’ etc. & I asked her what that was about she said never mind & left. Maybe she got some for the 1st time in a long time? I wonder if she was really waiting to see if I was going to do anything about her or what. I wouldn’t have thought that she’d be the kind of girl to go that long without it but oh well. Doesn’t matter, but now I really need to get that bus chick so I can turn the tables on her.

um, howcome you didn’t date this girl? Or am I missing something?

A tip for the future. If things are going well between you then make a move. At least kiss the girl so she doesn’t get the mistaken impression that you aren’t interested in being more than friends. Women I’ve asked about this over the years would rather have the guy be up front and show some interest rather than letting her think he’s gay or something.

She’s on the list, but the bus chick is one place above her.

Still obsessed over bus girl? sheesh

Dude, with muscle girl, I think you got nothing to lose. So just ask her, whether it’s in person or online. Even if you think she’s blown you off, she hasn’t said it in your face so just ask her for some coffee or lunch. That way, when you’re with her, you can get the dirt on her, whether she’s been fucked or not. Oh, and even if she’s not been responding to your messages, be persistent. But not to the point where it freaks her out. Good luck bro and let us know what happens. Also, you really need to do something about Bus Girl. It’s been over a year and a half you’ve been dealing with this silly thing. Do your best to find her at parties or popular night clubs.

I have a recommendation for you:

Find a bus. Put pictures of hot women all over the bus, but most especially on the front of the bus. Lie down in the bus’ path.

Hire someone (this person should ideally be someone who is crazed and hates you) to drive the bus over you repeatedly, backwards and forwards, at least 50 times. Vary the tempo. While your body is being pummeled and flattened by the bus, fantasize about the bus girl and attempt to masturbate. Hire another person to stand close to you (but out of the bus’ path) with a megaphone, shouting “Fool! Forget about her!!” over and over while all the above is going on. If you have the funds, hire yet another person to use a flamethrower on your bare feet at the same time.

The cumulative effect of all this should be to render any further thoughts about the bus-girl so prohibitively pain-associated that you will no longer think about her.

Perhaps then you’ll be able to move on with your life.

I emailed her asking what was going on & why she was being weird, etc. & she just said that if “it’s because I hasn’t talked to you (me) in a while, well sorry, I’ve been busy w/school, 2 jobs & my sports, etc” That’s good enough for me, false alarm.

If you think its a ‘false alarm’ then you really dont know anything about women!

I agree with Sewerhooker. If I were you, I would ask her to do something, grab coffee, whatever just to see if she will get together with you mano a mano. Pick something that you can claim is a stress-relieving activity to make her think that you care about what she is going through. If she blows you off, I would re-think if it was a false alarm or not. Next time you talk to her online and she is responding to your messages, then ask her because it forces her to respond rather than asking her out of the blue. If your confident that she is being truthful, forget you read this.