But on a serious note (sorry for my scathing comment) what you're looking for can be accomplished. It's going to take some hard work and dedication though. Think of it like this though:
Working out will inrease your Resting metabolic rate as your muscles need extra energy to repair themselves.
You will increase your Lean Body mass resulting in an increased metabolism.
As your baseline strength levels go up you will be able to perform more work per exercise session (either through more reps or more weight) which will increase your caloric expenditure through workouts.
Exercise increases growth hormone levels which helps breakdown fat (more than add muscle if I remember correctly)
You will improve your insulin sensitivity profile and even if you ate the same foods you would have a better body composition b/c more nutrients would be shuttled to muscle cells rather than the greedy adipocytes.
Where to start?
I would do a simple program (don't start right off with Waterbury's programs). I'm not quite sure which one I'd reccomend, probably a simple 3x8 routine 2-4x per week. Full-body workouts would probably be more oppurtune for you at this point vs. split body training.
You want to perform long-duration, low intensity cardio. As you become more in-shape gradually transition to high intensity shorter duration training.
Diet....Look up the old T-Dawg Diet. That's a GREAT Place to start.