Friends Getting Older Sucks

[quote]miroku333 wrote:

so my friends and I are both successful in the ways that are important to us I suppose.

[/quote]

I think this is the important thing to remember. Because lifting is important to us does not mean it is the be all and end all of life. I think everyone should have something that fires them up. I’m not sure it matters what it is. (Except maybe necrophilia). You need something so you aren’t watching t.v. and waiting for you life to be over.

This is something I touched on in another post a while ago.

I don’t care if you and I disagree on something, but goddamnit, show me what makes you ANGRY. Show me what takes you from happy to angry to happy again within 60 seconds. Then, I will know what you are passionate about.

[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
This is something I touched on in another post a while ago.

I don’t care if you and I disagree on something, but goddamnit, show me what makes you ANGRY. Show me what takes you from happy to angry to happy again within 60 seconds. Then, I will know what you are passionate about.[/quote]

I guess this doesn’t apply to women who are passionate about the length of their dog’s nails… or does it?

I cut ties with all my old friends several years ago. I really think the only reason we were friends at all is because we happened to go to the same high school.

Most of my friends now don’t even live in the same state. They’re people I’ve met through work and we have lunch when they’re in town and talk on the phone once or twice a month but that’s all I really have time for.

I hate when I meet someone around here and they want to hang out every day and go out every weekend. I’ve got a family, I’ve got work, I have my own personal hobbies. I just don’t have time for a high maintenance friend who is going to get pissy if I don’t call her for a few days.

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
PonceDeLeon wrote:
This is something I touched on in another post a while ago.

I don’t care if you and I disagree on something, but goddamnit, show me what makes you ANGRY. Show me what takes you from happy to angry to happy again within 60 seconds. Then, I will know what you are passionate about.

I guess this doesn’t apply to women who are passionate about the length of their dog’s nails… or does it?[/quote]

No, not when they are not even 21 and can’t stop talking about how they are “so over Vegas.”

Or when they keep talking up how nice their bed sheets are, etc, but when you put them on the spot, suddenly they “can only make tentative agreements to hang out.”

I’m just speaking hypothetically, though.

I think once you get out of college or pass 25 years of age you have to make the transition from primarily age-related friendship (based on common circumstances) to interest-related friendship (still often founded on common circumstances, like hobbies, but maintained through common interests, beliefs and ways of thinking).

My husband and I are in our 20s (me) and 30s (him) and after ending up together we quickly realized that our friends are pretty random. Usually they’re either single or older than we are, a lot of which is due to the fact that we don’t have kids. In fact we usually don’t have the best time with married people our age, because we’re uncomfortable with how they treat each other. That’s quite frustrating.

Just you wait until they get a little older and start getting married and BREEDING. The conversation quickly morphs from uninteresting to mind-fucking-numbingly intolerable.

  • TRUST. ME. *

[quote]Lonnie123 wrote:
I dont want to look back at my life and wish I hadnt missed that episode of Charm School (one of the many shows he makes fun of, but never misses an episode). I want to conquer, to explore, to learn, to interact, to better myself.
[/quote]

THIS is what I don’t get. People who watch shows EXCLUSIVELY to make fun of them. Normally this isn’t a problem, I watch the occasional Voltron or Reboot episode… but these people watch it religiously.

Yes, Paris Hilton is a talentless whore (she isn’t even good at whoring). So what does that make you, Mrs. Never-misses-an-episode?

Ugh.

/me bows out again.

[quote]Damici wrote:
Just you wait until they get a little older and start getting married and BREEDING. The conversation quickly morphs from uninteresting to mind-fucking-numbingly intolerable.

  • TRUST. ME. *
    [/quote]

Oh man, what is the worst is being with multiple other couples ALL who have infant/toddler children and the guys and gals split up. The gals always talk about all the nuances of motherhood. I like to be respectful to the people we choose to hang out with, but often I just can’t take it, and I just do whatever the guys are doing because it’s usually carnival level fun compared to the diaper talk.

It’s not always like this, but with the majority of people our age who are married with whom we have contact. Not all, but many.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Just wait until they get married.

It sounds like your friends might be super sucky though.

Most of mine are fresh in the professional world as well, and we don’t start drinking at like 11am and booty cruising by 4pm then take a nap and hit a rail before a club on a tuesday anymore, but on the weekends it’s on.

Except the married ones. Sometimes they come out but go home really early. Sometimes.

[quote]sluicy wrote:
Damici wrote:
Just you wait until they get a little older and start getting married and BREEDING. The conversation quickly morphs from uninteresting to mind-fucking-numbingly intolerable.

  • TRUST. ME. *

Oh man, what is the worst is being with multiple other couples ALL who have infant/toddler children and the guys and gals split up. The gals always talk about all the nuances of motherhood. I like to be respectful to the people we choose to hang out with, but often I just can’t take it, and I just do whatever the guys are doing because it’s usually carnival level fun compared to the diaper talk.

It’s not always like this, but with the majority of people our age who are married with whom we have contact. Not all, but many.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true. [/quote]

Just wait until you’re the one with infant/toddler aged children and you’re stuck at home with them all day and your own life is mind numbingly fucking boring and you want to go where the guys are having carnival fun and stab your husband to death because he’s having carnival fun and you’re stuck with sticky kids and diapers and the satisfaction of killing him outweighs the idea of prison. Plus, in prison you have a better chance of no one puking in your bed.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Happily, they get old enough to babysit so you can finally have your life back and develop some interests outside of shitty diapers and thoughts of homicide.

Yes about the married thing. Four of my good friends have all gotten married and i only see one of them now regularly. That is when you know you are getting old. Married couple only hang out with other married couples.

[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
This is something I touched on in another post a while ago.

I don’t care if you and I disagree on something, but goddamnit, show me what makes you ANGRY. Show me what takes you from happy to angry to happy again within 60 seconds. Then, I will know what you are passionate about.[/quote]

I went from HAPPY to DEPRESSED in the time it took me to read this thread.

I’m mid-20s and all my friends do is go to work and get married. I like my internet friends more than my real ones nowadays.

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:

Just wait until you’re the one with infant/toddler aged children and you’re stuck at home with them all day and your own life is mind numbingly fucking boring and you want to go where the guys are having carnival fun and stab your husband to death because he’s having carnival fun and you’re stuck with sticky kids and diapers and the satisfaction of killing him outweighs the idea of prison. Plus, in prison you have a better chance of no one puking in your bed.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Happily, they get old enough to babysit so you can finally have your life back and develop some interests outside of shitty diapers and thoughts of homicide.[/quote]

Hilarious…

Been there, done that.

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
sluicy wrote:
Damici wrote:
Just you wait until they get a little older and start getting married and BREEDING. The conversation quickly morphs from uninteresting to mind-fucking-numbingly intolerable.

  • TRUST. ME. *

Oh man, what is the worst is being with multiple other couples ALL who have infant/toddler children and the guys and gals split up. The gals always talk about all the nuances of motherhood. I like to be respectful to the people we choose to hang out with, but often I just can’t take it, and I just do whatever the guys are doing because it’s usually carnival level fun compared to the diaper talk.

It’s not always like this, but with the majority of people our age who are married with whom we have contact. Not all, but many.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Just wait until you’re the one with infant/toddler aged children and you’re stuck at home with them all day and your own life is mind numbingly fucking boring and you want to go where the guys are having carnival fun and stab your husband to death because he’s having carnival fun and you’re stuck with sticky kids and diapers and the satisfaction of killing him outweighs the idea of prison. Plus, in prison you have a better chance of no one puking in your bed.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Happily, they get old enough to babysit so you can finally have your life back and develop some interests outside of shitty diapers and thoughts of homicide.[/quote]

Oh dear…
Ouroboro, I wasn’t making fun of people who have children. Did you think I was? (This is where internet posting leaves me clueless because there are no faces or voice tones.) Motherhood is something very honorable for which I don’t think I’d ever be ready. But when you don’t have kids, and all your friends do, it’s difficult to relate to the degree to which all aspects of babyhood occupy the conversation. I’m really sorry if I offended you or anyone else, it wasn’t my intent to put down people who chose to have children while we have not.

[quote]Polish Rifle wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:

Just wait until you’re the one with infant/toddler aged children and you’re stuck at home with them all day and your own life is mind numbingly fucking boring and you want to go where the guys are having carnival fun and stab your husband to death because he’s having carnival fun and you’re stuck with sticky kids and diapers and the satisfaction of killing him outweighs the idea of prison. Plus, in prison you have a better chance of no one puking in your bed.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Happily, they get old enough to babysit so you can finally have your life back and develop some interests outside of shitty diapers and thoughts of homicide.

Hilarious…

Been there, done that.
[/quote]

I guess some people take to being parents better than others :slight_smile:

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:
Yes about the married thing. Four of my good friends have all gotten married and i only see one of them now regularly. That is when you know you are getting old. Married couple only hang out with other married couples.[/quote]

Heh, not all of them. I’m married and I refuse to do the “hang out with another married couple” thing. If my wife wants to go out with one of her married friends, neat, but I’m not going to feel compelled to tag along on some playdate for hours of forced awkward conversation.

[quote]sluicy wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
sluicy wrote:
Damici wrote:
Just you wait until they get a little older and start getting married and BREEDING. The conversation quickly morphs from uninteresting to mind-fucking-numbingly intolerable.

  • TRUST. ME. *

Oh man, what is the worst is being with multiple other couples ALL who have infant/toddler children and the guys and gals split up. The gals always talk about all the nuances of motherhood. I like to be respectful to the people we choose to hang out with, but often I just can’t take it, and I just do whatever the guys are doing because it’s usually carnival level fun compared to the diaper talk.

It’s not always like this, but with the majority of people our age who are married with whom we have contact. Not all, but many.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Just wait until you’re the one with infant/toddler aged children and you’re stuck at home with them all day and your own life is mind numbingly fucking boring and you want to go where the guys are having carnival fun and stab your husband to death because he’s having carnival fun and you’re stuck with sticky kids and diapers and the satisfaction of killing him outweighs the idea of prison. Plus, in prison you have a better chance of no one puking in your bed.

I hate to be so negative but it’s true.

Happily, they get old enough to babysit so you can finally have your life back and develop some interests outside of shitty diapers and thoughts of homicide.

Oh dear…
Ouroboro, I wasn’t making fun of people who have children. Did you think I was? (This is where internet posting leaves me clueless because there are no faces or voice tones.) Motherhood is something very honorable for which I don’t think I’d ever be ready. But when you don’t have kids, and all your friends do, it’s difficult to relate to the degree to which all aspects of babyhood occupy the conversation. I’m really sorry if I offended you or anyone else, it wasn’t my intent to put down people who chose to have children while we have not. [/quote]

Oh, I wasn’t offended. It’s funny, the time of life when our kids are that age was very difficult for me. All the other mommy’s would go on about how happy they were. It was the best thing ever. Bla, bla, bla. All I could do was look at them and think “You’re all a bunch of fucking liars.” Turns out, when we talk about it 10 years later, we were all lying. All the boring mommy talk is a code for ‘rescue me’ :slight_smile:

That’s one reason why I can’t understand why, when people reach middle age, they view their lives as set in stone and winding down. I feel like mine is finally really beginning for me.

Now I bore the crap out of people with talk of competition totals, squat suits and supplements.

There’s some really entertaining posts here (Ourboro- fucking hysterical).

For the people that said your life becomes about interests, I think that’s the key.

If anything, people who lift alot (or do some kind of physical activity that requires teams, interacting with other people, etc) are, I think, far happier than those who just do the basic bullshit.

I’m kind of where the OP is right now, on that line. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t still love going out and getting fucked up and doing all of the unintelligent things that guys in their early 20s do, but I’m also beginning to have things that are too good to lose, like my job. It’s that transitional period that’s tough, especially when your friends are a group like mine.

It’s still cool to go out, but in relation to certain people, the terms “drug addict” and “alcoholic” begin getting thrown around in a serious manner for those who, by 25 years old, have no control over themselves.

It’s not as simple as it was when we were younger, and everyone did the same thing so no one could judge.

But the important thing is having goals. For years I didn’t pay attention to setting goals because they were already set- graduate high school, graduate college, get a good job. While some might decry the “getting a good job” thing and think it’s shallow, its important to remember the amount of hours you spend at work- you’d better like the place you’re going to be for 5 days a week.

Now, though, I’m temporarily cruising at my job because I have to get requisite “experience in the field.” That means that I have to set other goals, such as raising my maxes, getting deeper into boxing, and looking into other martial arts, as well as reading and continually educating myself so I feel that I’m always progressing in some form.

More or less, what I’m trying to say is that there are many people who settle into a job they hate, and while they make paper doin it, end up hating life because they hate their job. This then seeps into all other facets of their life, and leads to that “same old shit” reply that you here so often.

Needless to say, there is going to be a divide between those that are progressing and those that begin to stagnate, and you see it start in the mid-late 20s.

Frustrating though it may be, all you can do is keep on working on your own life.

You got one life to make it for the movies. Anything less is a waste of breath.