T Nation

Friends After College


#1

In high school you generally meet your friends in school/classes, etc. In college you meet them in your dorms, classes, parties, etc.

But what about after when you're living on your own. Through work mostly?

I ask because after college I plan on living in a major city and I'll be self-employed.
For you guy's who've done so, how did you cope moving into a new city?


#2

your question is great, and i don't have the best answer for you. i am mostly posting to express the same question. what i have found is that people tend to get girlfriends, and they spend all their time at work.. when they aren't at work they are with their girl. people still get together for beer now and then, or to go bowling or something.. but overall, friends are not "tight" like when we were younger.

you might see a friend once a month or once a week.

outside of that, you make friends at an activity you both share.. a dude you hang with at the gym.. a group of people you do judo with.. some people you play softball with.. or, for a lot of guys: the same old faces at the bar each night.

i think after college, we all end up missing a feeling of tribe. that is one of the good things about the internet: we can meet and talk about things we all love.. but it's a bad thing too: fewer people are getting out of their homes after work and doing something.

one of my few friends just moved to indiana, so i've been thinking similar thoughts..


#3

This is depressing.


#4

Yes, sad but true.

I've always had the philosophy that I go to the gym to workout, and not to socialise, but I found that I made friends who had similar philosophies, and trained with big compound movements, which I thought were all but extinct.

We respect eachother's workout time, and we don't sit around talking for minutes at a time, but with all that we have in common, it feels good to socialise with them.

I went to college online, but I had a simmilar feeling of being in "the pack" when I was in the Navy. Since I've been out, I noticed the same thing. All the friends I made while in the military are living all over the country, or on the other side of the world.

I guess it's best to make sure your wife, husband, life partner... is truely THE ONE who you love to be around, and who you're best friends with.

I think having 2 or 3 good friends close by is about the best most people can get after high school, colleg, military ect.


#5

You might try looking around for clubs, etc... I know that some college clubs allow non students to join.

I've met lots of friends at climbing gyms too. Great people, most of the time, and they have similar interests.


#6

Fortunately for me, most of the people studying what I'm studying (film scoring) end up in Los Angeles because that's pretty much the only place you can find work. So I'll know lots of people there, since my college is the only one in the country to offer an undergrad program in this field.

Not that I'll necessarily have lots of friends, but I'll know people at least. I imagine most of my friends will be made at church and in the gym, not in the studio. Enemies are made in the studios. They're called "producers."


#7

finally, this is the time when you get to meet all kinds of people in all kinds of situations and thus find the ones that are truly aligned with you, not just the ones that are always in the same place at the same time

my best friends live 4 hours away in northern cali, in shitty texas, and in hawaii - i connect with them better than that guy in the next office that i talk to every damn day

nate, you are too fat to have friends though, so don't even worry about it

Bastard


#8

Ya if your a sap, go to a church meet somebody, then go onto the streets make some crack heads your friends or some gang bangers...that's how I got my friends


#9

nieghbors


#10

You become friends with your wife's friends husbands...I thought everyone knew this.


#11

Like Kramer?


#12

Like Kramer....except Kramer has a hot Milf wife 10 yrs. younger.

Did I say that out loud :slight_smile:


#13

Meet people that you have things in common with. I moved to Virginia a few years ago and started hanging out with a few guys that I worked with, then at the b.m.x. track, etc. The important thing about being able to make friends is being able to talk to people. If you are inhibited about talking to people then the chances of making friends with them is prety slim.


#14

Right now I am not in college, and I don't really know anyone around here anymore. Everyone I did know is off at college. I still live at home (im 20) for these next 2 months. But everything is going to change because I joined the air force. I'm guessing I will meet lots of people there.