T Nation

For Those Who Can't Gain Weight

Hello, there. Having trouble gaining weight? Do you eat and find yourself not gaining any more muscle? Are you still the one with 13" arms, or the one that’s still 140lbs.

Well, I’ve got something for you. It’s something that you will tell yourself “I should’ve thought of that before!” These will be the rules to get you to your 200lbs, to your 18" arms. If you don’t want to gain any mass at all, then please do the opposite of what I tell you. What I’m about to reveal to you is the quickest way to get big.

  1. Give a memorial service to your abdominals.
    That’s right; you’ll have to part with your abs, albeit temporarily. I know it will be hard to wave goodbye to them, but just remind yourself that they will come back to you, and they will look even better on a bigger body. So goodbye. Allow the fat to hide them, but DO NOT gain too much fat. As a tip, choose a waist size number and stay there.

  2. Take what you eat, and double it.
    This will be difficult for some, and if it is hard for you, refer to 3. If you wish to get bigger, you need to take the amount that you eat and double it. You will sweat and be on the verge of puking. You MUST force it down, but do not vomit. If you think you are going to regurgitate, stop eating. You’ve reached your limit. Continue this process every meal (at least 4 meals a day). You will face bloating, but as a reward you will feel supreme relaxation (and perhaps sleepiness) after the meal.

  3. Eat fast food.
    Fast food should be reserved in moderate amounts and can help you get more calories in you WITHOUT force feeding. A good example would be the Triple Whopper-it contains 1,200 calories and 70 grams of protein. You can’t beat that if you don’t feel like force feeding. Also, remember to moderate fast food use so you don’t gain too much fat.

  4. Bring in the saturated fat and cholesterol.
    Saturated fat in correlated with better Testosterone levels (1). Just ask the big guys, they’ll tell you. Without cholestoral, you can’t even naturally synthesize testosterone(2). You NEED both.

  5. Buy Biotest supplemets.
    Of course there are a lot of supplements out there, but you can’t beat the quality of these guys. Go buy thier shit and add it to your bigger, better diet (I want a t-shirt, TC)! Plus, if you don’t buy, you don’t get this message board.

Sticky this shit. Notice I tried to sound like a paid program just so I can get the attention of these noobs. They need to read this.

Good post, but it’s all been said so many times. I’m sure you made this in hopes to catch the attention of people who don’t know what they’re doing, but it probably won’t work here in the BB section. People just sort of post things here without doing any real search.

To be totally honest, this would be better in the Beginner’s forum, because those people recognize that they’re beginners and are generally willing to learn and eat up (no pun intended) as much information as possible.

Thanks for the input, but I put it here purposefully. You’ll get a lot more replies here than in the beginner section.

About it not working in the BB section and people here; trust me, I know. I’ve been here longer than you.

[quote]Short Hoss wrote:
Thanks for the input, but I put it here purposefully. You’ll get a lot more replies here than in the beginner section.

About it not working in the BB section and people here; trust me, I know. I’ve been here longer than you.[/quote]

Okay, well, first of all, how can you possibly know how long I’ve been here? Second of all, anyone who’s here ought to already know all of this information, so that’s all I was saying.

[quote]SSC wrote:
Short Hoss wrote:
Thanks for the input, but I put it here purposefully. You’ll get a lot more replies here than in the beginner section.

About it not working in the BB section and people here; trust me, I know. I’ve been here longer than you.

Okay, well, first of all, how can you possibly know how long I’ve been here? Second of all, anyone who’s here ought to already know all of this information, so that’s all I was saying.[/quote]

It’s all good.

I disagree with #3, you can do better then a triple whopper.

A Chipotle burrito can have 1200+ calories and I consider it to be quality healthy food compared to anything out of burger king.

[quote]joburnet wrote:
I disagree with #3, you can do better then a triple whopper.

A Chipotle burrito can have 1200+ calories and I consider it to be quality healthy food compared to anything out of burger king.[/quote]

The whopper was just a suggestion, and now I will definitely try out the Chipotle burrito. Thanks for the tip.

[quote]joburnet wrote:
I disagree with #3, you can do better then a triple whopper.

A Chipotle burrito can have 1200+ calories and I consider it to be quality healthy food compared to anything out of burger king.[/quote]

Agreed on Chipotle. In some markets–like here in DC–Chipotle even uses grass fed beef!

[quote]supabeast wrote:
Agreed on Chipotle. In some markets–like here in DC–Chipotle even uses grass fed beef![/quote]

If you believe that - I have a bridge I’d like to sell you.

Chipotle is for pussies. If you can’t stand the heat - don’t eat jalepeno’s.

There’s nothing wrong with the triple whopper. Unless you have a problem with 75 grams, or so, of protein.

[quote]rainjack wrote:

There’s nothing wrong with the triple whopper. Unless you have a problem with 75 grams, or so, of protein. [/quote]

how about supporting an unethical business?

the only reason I can fathom the need for fast food (for calories of course), is if you’re traveling and in a pinch need access to a quick meal.

you can make large quality meals at home very easily with a blender.

I know Prof X will chime in disagreeing, but I can’t fathom how someone looking to bulk could “need” fast food more than maybe once per week in a pinch (if you like fast food and make that your splurge/cheat so be it), but I don’t buy reliance on fast food while bulking :shrug: that’s just me though

I’ve only managed to go from 130 lbs to 189, most recently 167-189, since it’s always brought up that those who haven’t been there done that can’t speak up.

:finger: :smiley:

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
how about supporting an unethical business?

the only reason I can fathom the need for fast food (for calories of course), is if you’re traveling and in a pinch need access to a quick meal.
[/quote]

What in the hell is unethical about Burger King? Seriously - don’t blame a business for the bad choices of fat fucks.

Prove unethical business practice by Burger King, or any other fast food place. There is none.

You are only 189. Please don’t propose to lecture me on how to bulk until you’ve gained at least 50 fucking pounds.

And fuck ProfX. Anyone with a functioning brain stem should be disagreeing with your anti-business bullshit.

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
rainjack wrote:

There’s nothing wrong with the triple whopper. Unless you have a problem with 75 grams, or so, of protein.

how about supporting an unethical business?

the only reason I can fathom the need for fast food (for calories of course), is if you’re traveling and in a pinch need access to a quick meal.

you can make large quality meals at home very easily with a blender.

I know Prof X will chime in disagreeing, but I can’t fathom how someone looking to bulk could “need” fast food more than maybe once per week in a pinch (if you like fast food and make that your splurge/cheat so be it), but I don’t buy reliance on fast food while bulking :shrug: that’s just me though

I’ve only managed to go from 130 lbs to 189, most recently 167-189, since it’s always brought up that those who haven’t been there done that can’t speak up.

:finger: :D[/quote]

Of course you can’t fathom it. You’re only 180+ lbs. Also, fuck ethics. I don’t give a shit about ethics when it comes to bulking.

I even said fast food in moderation; can you not read? I think once a week isn’t enough. I have an idea for you-eat more fast food, but concentrate on the calories and protein content of the fast food you choose.

Watch how much quicker you’ll gain muscle.

[quote]rainjack wrote:
jehovasfitness wrote:
how about supporting an unethical business?

the only reason I can fathom the need for fast food (for calories of course), is if you’re traveling and in a pinch need access to a quick meal.

What in the hell is unethical about Burger King? Seriously - don’t blame a business for the bad choices of fat fucks.

Prove unethical business practice by Burger King, or any other fast food place. There is none.

You are only 189. Please don’t propose to lecture me on how to bulk until you’ve gained at least 50 fucking pounds.

And fuck ProfX. Anyone with a functioning brain stem should be disagreeing with your anti-business bullshit. [/quote]

Read Fast Food Nation and then maybe you’ll understand about the ir business practices when it comes to their workers.

I have actually gained 50 lbs if you’re reading comprehension was on par :wink: (jk), 130-189 is more than 50. Of course that was over a long span (so I don’t usually go around stating that too often) as I was 160s for a long time.

Guess, I’ll get back to you once I have (though my goal is only 210, so that won’t put me at your magical 50 lbs) :smiley:

Lay off Jehovah…the guy put on 69 pounds of mass geez…

As far as fast food companies being ethical? Give me a break, of course they arent but 90% of the major corporations in this country arent.

Eat all the fast food you want but dont complain to me when your 40 and you cant get your dick up.

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
Read Fast Food Nation and then maybe you’ll understand about the ir business practices when it comes to their workers.

I have actually gained 50 lbs if you’re reading comprehension was on par :wink: (jk), 130-189 is more than 50. Of course that was over a long span (so I don’t usually go around stating that too often) as I was 160s for a long time.

Guess, I’ll get back to you once I have (though my goal is only 210, so that won’t put me at your magical 50 lbs) :smiley:

[/quote]

I ask for proof and you tell me to read a book? Sorry - that’s not good enough. Prove your position on your own. I don’t do your bidding.

Good for you. You gained 50 pounds. I meant that when you gained ANOTHER 50 - then you might be able to give advice. When you hit 243 - then we’ll talk.

Now either come with some proof that Burger King is engaged in unethical business practice - or sit down, and go sit with the skinny kids who talk out of their ass.

Short Hoss,
I certainly agree with you on the cholesterol. Its necessary for testosterone production and proper brain function its huge for people looking to gain, that being said there are better sources then fast food.

[quote]bostonbigticket wrote:
Lay off Jehovah…the guy put on 69 pounds of mass geez…

As far as fast food companies being ethical? Give me a break, of course they arent but 90% of the major corporations in this country arent.

Eat all the fast food you want but dont complain to me when your 40 and you cant get your dick up.[/quote]

Clearly you are blind. I said in moderation. You made it sound like I’m telling everyone to shove fast food down on EVERY MEAL. How in the hell did you get that out of “fast food should be reserved in moderate amounts”?

[quote]bostonbigticket wrote:
Lay off Jehovah…the guy put on 69 pounds of mass geez…

As far as fast food companies being ethical? Give me a break, of course they arent but 90% of the major corporations in this country arent.

Eat all the fast food you want but dont complain to me when your 40 and you cant get your dick up.[/quote]

I’m 40-fucking-3 and had sex twice in the last hour.

Either bring proof, or shut the fuck up.

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
rainjack wrote:
jehovasfitness wrote:
how about supporting an unethical business?

the only reason I can fathom the need for fast food (for calories of course), is if you’re traveling and in a pinch need access to a quick meal.

What in the hell is unethical about Burger King? Seriously - don’t blame a business for the bad choices of fat fucks.

Prove unethical business practice by Burger King, or any other fast food place. There is none.

You are only 189. Please don’t propose to lecture me on how to bulk until you’ve gained at least 50 fucking pounds.

And fuck ProfX. Anyone with a functioning brain stem should be disagreeing with your anti-business bullshit.

Read Fast Food Nation and then maybe you’ll understand about the ir business practices when it comes to their workers.

I have actually gained 50 lbs if you’re reading comprehension was on par :wink: (jk), 130-189 is more than 50. Of course that was over a long span (so I don’t usually go around stating that too often) as I was 160s for a long time.

Guess, I’ll get back to you once I have (though my goal is only 210, so that won’t put me at your magical 50 lbs) :smiley:

[/quote]

Read this one more time, Jehovah. It’s in the SECOND PARAGRAPH.

“What I’m about to reveal to you is the QUICKEST way to get big.”

How long did it take for you to get from 130-189?

[quote]Short Hoss wrote:
jehovasfitness wrote:
rainjack wrote:
jehovasfitness wrote:
how about supporting an unethical business?

the only reason I can fathom the need for fast food (for calories of course), is if you’re traveling and in a pinch need access to a quick meal.

What in the hell is unethical about Burger King? Seriously - don’t blame a business for the bad choices of fat fucks.

Prove unethical business practice by Burger King, or any other fast food place. There is none.

You are only 189. Please don’t propose to lecture me on how to bulk until you’ve gained at least 50 fucking pounds.

And fuck ProfX. Anyone with a functioning brain stem should be disagreeing with your anti-business bullshit.

Read Fast Food Nation and then maybe you’ll understand about the ir business practices when it comes to their workers.

I have actually gained 50 lbs if you’re reading comprehension was on par :wink: (jk), 130-189 is more than 50. Of course that was over a long span (so I don’t usually go around stating that too often) as I was 160s for a long time.

Guess, I’ll get back to you once I have (though my goal is only 210, so that won’t put me at your magical 50 lbs) :smiley:

Read this one more time, Jehovah. It’s in the SECOND PARAGRAPH.

“What I’m about to reveal to you is the QUICKEST way to get big.”

How long did it take for you to get from 130-189?

[/quote]

Like I said, it took a long time, but it was because I wasn’t focused on getting bigger when I was 160s, because I had come from 130 and that was good enough for me. It no longer is.

I started to focus on gaining weight back at the beginning of Feb, so 5 months now for 22 lbs. Just a hair over 1 lb per week, not too shabby IMO.

That being said, I didn’t mean to imply that you were saying to go hog wild on fast food. I just don’t like how so many throw around the fact that in order to get a lot of calories you need fast food periodically :shrug: Like said, the only time I really do fast food is when there is nothing else available not when a better choice can be made