T Nation

For T-men, do Men love Bitches?

Ok I just read this book, she interviewed men from all ages and life styles and well it is about what men like…

SO one of the things it said is that MEN LOVE BITCHES!!!
In light of the other guy who posted about that girl who wont make time for him, this would seem true?
For eg, not to be too available…
If a girl shows she is smitten then men say she’s too needy? Or she isn’t rely worth his time, or she has changed, all this shit sounds like games to me.
Is this true? If so How come?

AND I was just wondering do T-Men believe in a Soul Mate, that one perfect match of a T-vixen that would bring you to your knees?
Lets hear it from you… Please
T- mag poll!
Thanks

First of all, I don’t like generalizations about relationship stuff.

Having said that, I’ll say this: Weak men like ‘Bitches’. T-Men do not.

This reminds me about the contention that women like assholes or ‘bad-boys’, and the whole practice of projecting that image (if you’re a guy).

This is why the practice of dating disgusts me. The whole venture is centered around projecting a false image of oneself. I’m not talking about just projecting the positive aspects of oneself, I’m talking about pretending to be someone you’re clearly not. This shit happens so much.

Anyway… I better get off the soapbox before I really get started.

You should define what you mean by “bitch” to get proper answer since it can mean a lot of things to different people.

I didn’t know if they would posy it or not.
Bump

Ike I agree with you! I guess thats why I am hving such a problem, like around it's no one's biz what I make! I give all of my heart and that to me is enough, don't get me wong I work hard, and smart! BUt it isn't about what you do, or how much a gye or girl makes it is about who you are, after all you can’t take the $ with you after you die, so why spend all you life chasing the buck?

Any way the idea that I think is ment behind the book is letting the gye fine tune his skills as a hunter.
I guess to not make it so easy for them, or they lose interest?

Dose that make it clear?
Thanks

I’ll say that I personally like strong-willed women with an attitude. Not saying I like a “bitch” … there’s a difference. But I do not like a doormat either.

I must admit that my own relation is not that good right now mostly because my girlfriend is a bit too “nice” and in adoration towards me. At first it was gratifying, but now it’s a bit annoying.

So “woman” and “bitch” aren’t synonymous? :slight_smile: You would think it with how some men use the terms.

Anyway, we all have our psychological issues, so some of us are drawn to bitches, while others of us are drawn to other kinds of women.

Personally, if she’s bitchy, then I only see her good for one thing. Just like if a guy is an asswipe, then he’s only good for one thing, if that.

I personally cant stand “bitches”, unless they are really mean in bed ;). Getting laid is a science IMO, a bitch/stuck up/shallow usually goes for an asshole (or at least the projection of one), keepers wont put up with that type of shit. As far as sould mates, yes, I have the feeling that I will instantly know the girl I am going to spend the rest of my life with the first time I see/meet her.

I don’t want a bitch. I’ve dated only a couple that were bitches and that didn’t last long. I get fed up and don’t want to deal with someone who is going to be a bitch.

I do like a woman who is honest, strong willed, goal oriented, educated, independent, happy with herself and her life, financially responsible and has her own friends, interests and hobbies. Some people feel that a woman like that is a bitch, but that’s not my definition of a bitch.

A bitch is someone who treats you like shit, plays games, can’t always be trusted, disrespects you or the relationship or has huge attitude problems that makes it hard to be around her.

So no, I don’t like a bitch, I’m not attracted to bitches, I don’t like playing games, and I don’t want to be used or abused.

As for a soul mate, I sometimes think that there may be someone out there that could be my soul mate, but at the same time, I think that I’ll never find someone with all the qualities I truly want. I’ve been with women with many of the qualities I’m looking for, but I don’t think it’ll be possible to find that one person who is everything I could want and more. Maybe there is such a thing as a soul mate, but then again, maybe it’s just a dream.

Regardless of having a soul mate or not, the most important thing to me is that I’m happy with myself and my life. If everything is good with yourself, then it’s easier to attract and find other people who are like you or who you want to be with. Then you can find a true love and share it with someone special.

Lets see my Ratio would be 49%Bitch 51% Sweetheart. I don’t want a women I can easily dominate, cause I will try, I like a women who will stand up and fight me.

And I been married to my soul mate for 19 years, and her bitch factor comes in very handy when dealing with telemarketers and annoying people.

Phatman,

I wouldn’t consider those qualities in your wife as being a “bitch.” But many people view that as a bitch even though guys can act or do the same thing, and it’s acceptable.

It has to do with how society (gender roles) has instructed women to be (more emotional, less rational or dominant). But those qualities are important whether you are male or female (confidence, having an opinion and not being afraid to express it, backing up your beliefs, etc.).

Christian brings up a good point about ‘strong’ women versus ‘bitches’.

I cringe when I hear that ‘adoration’ shit, man. No good.

‘Strong’ women are not bitches. They just have self-confidence. And, despite what they all will tell you, very few women have true self-confidence.

So often they have these jacked up, deep rooted, screwy self-images, and it brings a load of shit with it. Blame society?

I agree with Phatman 100%. You want a balance between the two extremes. Most sane people without serious psychological issues don’t like a heartless bitch or a doormat. There are variations of this middle ground, IMHO. Some people like to kick the shit out of each other while having sex, others like to sprinkle rose petals on each other.
For you ladies out there, here’s one guy’s perspective: I want my woman to be able to get in someone’s face and drop some f bombs when need be. I also want her to have heart. My girlfriend is my soulmate and she’s a sweetheart…until you piss her off. Then she’s the queen bitch. She just learned to be that way to protect herself.

Wow, you mean maybe I’m not a bitch?! That’s a trip. According to what the guys here describe as the differences between the two (thanks Nate Diggity-dogg, et al) I am the consumate “strong woman”. So why is it I’ve been called a bitch by so many? How do you guys who claim to like “strong women” and dislike “bitches” differentiate the two - in the real world, not just here where it sounds all cool and proper?

If you approach me and I refuse to make small talk or accept your advances, does that make me a bitch for “not giving you a chance” or a strong woman who can plainly see you don’t possess the traits I desire and refuse to pretend like you do?

If we’re casually seeing eachother and I refuse to partake in your Nascar-watching, Coors Light-swilling shindigs, does that make me a bitch for not “embracing your hobby” or does it make me a strong woman who can’t fucking stand Nascar or Coors Light?

If I meet your parents/friends and they snub, ignore or patronize me and I get up and leave (politely, no scenes), does that make me a bitch for not “being there for you” or a strong woman who refuses to be marginalized?

I agree ~karma~, there does seem to be a fuzzy line between what exactly a “bitch” is and isn’t when some guys throw the word around so regularly.

A true bitch, in my mind, is someone who is selfish, thoughtless, lacks compassion and consideration, and is just generally rude to most people without giving a rat’s ass about their feelings.

Much like my ex-wife. :slight_smile:

Obviously, most men with any “sack” and self-respect wouldn’t be attracted to a true bitch.

I like someone who is strong, confident, and passionate about what they believe in. Combine that with understanding, tolerance, and a certain amount of flexibility, lots of love, and truly living life with passion (sorry Tony Robbins), and you have my soulmate for the last 14 years.

This is so great!!
Karma!!! Glad to see you!
Your posts are always rocken!!! Chridtian, and Ike , Stella thanks!
Can any one guess who I am waiting for now?
Yep Queen of the Bitch-oSphere
Patricia…you out there?
How about Cy, Goldberg, Doc T, Zev, KO, Machine, Vain, Shugart, JMB, Coach Davies, and the other T-Admin?
I find it interesting to know that the idea of worship is off…

can someone explain why this is so uncomfortable for men?

Keep it up
Roxy

Those who can’t differentiate are usually the weak ones who are also intimidated by strong women. And they may be living in the traditional role of “Man is God. Woman listens and does what man says” bullshit.

When he goes back to talk to his guy friends, that is what he’ll tell them. It’ll make him feel better and not feel as rejected. See above explaination. A real man realizes that you aren’t interested and he wasn’t the right one for you.

Don’t embrace my hobby if you don’t like it. There shouldn’t be any pressure too and vice versa. Besides, who really likes Coors Light and Nascar? That shit is fucking horrible and usually reserved for rednecks, inbreeders and trailor park trash. Also, don’t expect me to embrace your hobbies of going shopping, buying girly stuff for the home or doing things I deem as lame.

I’d be more than happy to have someone who did this. I’d be much more impressed with you. Joy has had to do this to some of my “so called friends” who are really assholes to anyone except those within their “close-knit group of dicks and assholes.” More power to you for doing this. And don’t forget, I’d be saying something to those that did such a thing once you did get up and walk away.

Bitches: (my definition) Shallow, egotistical, pop music loving girls. Any chick that can hold her own w/o playing games…ie Straight up tell me that you dont want to watch Nascar (haha not that I ever would want to), rather than whining and complaing passive aggressively. BUT, if I want to watch the Blues game and you prevent me from watching it by knowingly starting a fight, give no notice that we have to go out that night, etc…I reserve the right to call you a bitch.

That should have read

…Any chick that can hold her own w/o playing games…ie Straight up tell me that you dont want to watch Nascar (haha not that I ever would want to), rather than whining and complaing passive aggressively is definetly not a bitch…

I don’t think that being smart, educated, well-spoken, well-read, polite, compassionate, and having strong opinions (without being narrow minded) makes a woman bitchy. Bitches are crass, selfish, and cold.

Men who prefer bitches have issues or are blind when it comes to pretty faces.

And you said that the book said that men love bitches. I have to question how the survey was conducted. If the survey did not clearly define “bitch”, then the men may think “bitch = strong women” or whatever. And there’s no objective measurement of “bitch”. So this type of survey is subjective and not to be taken too seriously.