T Nation

for Patricia

Great article on you this week. Enjoyed it immensely. There are very few woman out there like you. I ask you this question because as a man, I do not think like a female. We have a 9-month old and basically ever since we had little Hunter the misses shy’s away from the gym. I have gotten her a trainer, given her all the compliments, helped her lose the weight gain associated with pregnancy, but for the life of me can’t get her back in the gym. Selfish or not, it troubles me since that was one thing we had so in-common when we dated and for the first 3 years of the marriage. So, howwould you approach getting someone back into the gym? I don’t touch the topic as I have learned to only now & then to ask, gonna go to the gym this week or wanna train today with me?
Thoughts? I am sure some others have also encountered this

I just wanted to also thank Patricia for her contribution here on the forum. Great article! It’s nice to see good people get noticed for their hard work. Your one of a kind!

doug k: Thanks for the kind words. Blame it all on Shugs for making me look much more interesting than I really am.

Congrats on the new addtion to the family!

I have a question regarding your wife. Was she physically active before you two met? Was physical activity a regular part of her life? Also, there's something that happens to a woman during and after pregnancy that is beyond the obvious physical changes. I can't speak exactly, since I've never been there. But I can speak as to what many of my friends have gone through. There's also a mental/emotional change. Think about it. She has just carried this life in her for nine whole months. That's time for alot of soul searching. She may have thought now it's time for her new baby and that working out in a gym is kinda "selfish" and would take away that time needed to be a good mother.

Another thought: does she have any other interests? Hobbies? Something that all three of you can enjoy together? I see alot of people in my neighborhood who take along their babies as they bike ride. Or go for walks/hiking. Being physically fit does not always require the gym. Oh, and maybe she also is just kinda "bored" with the gym routine? Have you begun a new program? Tried any new exercises? (example: "Wow, hey, let's get a baby sitter this weekend, I wanna take you to the gym and show you this great exercise I just read about.....and afterwards, we'll go out and have a GREAT dinner..."). I liken training as this really, cool adventure. So, I'm always looking for new, challenging exercises to try out (The Bear, for instance). She might like that, too.

Anywhoos, the reason I originally asked if your wife was use to being physically active is that it does make a difference here. If it's something that's intrinsically part of her (and this is the same for guys, too), than it won't be long for her to get back into it. She'll eventually miss it. Also let her know that it isn't "selfish" for her to continue training. That, as a matter of fact, would be great to begin again now, so that Hunter can see that his beautiful mom is also active and healthy. You know, kids learn mostly by watching - and especially watching their parents. AND, by being active and healthy, your wife will have the energy necessary to keep up with Hunter.

Gosh, I hope this helps.

Thanks!
Yes, she was physically active prior to the child, however she would go in phases of into it and not into it. I understand the adult as model for child, in fact we discuss it all the time with relation to diet and because i am so active in sports, working out and persuing (sp)academic interests, thus we both know Hunter will do these with me. In fact, I already plan on introducing him to certain appropriate kinds of training when he is 5 or so. Oh, you are so right about the change in physciallity, hormones and mental outlook that one goes through when pregnant and post-pregnant. Soemtimes, I view the reasons for not going to the gym as an excuse because we do have daycare their and in fact use one of the workers to babysit at our house so we can go out from time to time.

I appreciate the time you took to write your response and will let it digest over the weekend in order to see how to implement.

Get her to a doctor for a medical review, post partum depression is common, I see a lot of women with this condition and is relatively easy to treat with good prognosis for the future, best of luck

our little one is 4 now and i still cant get the wife back in the gym…i even biult a home gym and she will only do the stationary bike thing. the only good news is that i am starting my 4 year old out with short little workouts. i am glad that i can teach him all the things that i had to learn the hard way. look at it like this you lost a workout partner but in a few years you will have a new one…

You’ve got the greatest source of inspiration right at your fingertips. Plant the missus in front of the computer and have the article about Patricia up on the screen. If that doesn’t hook her on lifting and going to the gym, nothing will.