T Nation

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism


#1

Okay, I've recently run across this new religion, and I really like some of the basic tenets:

  • Heaven is filled with strippers and a beer volcano!

  • Global warming is caused by the reduction in the number of pirates!

I think I've been touched by His Noodly Appendage.

Ramen.


#2

Any Pastafarians out there?


#3

Makes just as much/little sense as the other religions.


#4

YOU ARE WRONG!

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the one true religion.


#5

I don't know, I'm leaning a bit towards SPAMism myself.

  • "...following the dictates of SPAM, we surreptitiously developed the Victoria's Secret company to spread the wearing of the sacred undergarments."

  • "...Henderson's FSM theory is based on the absurd notion that global warming is caused by the reduction in the number of pirates in the world (!) and not on the true cause, the failure to eat pasta..."

(Okay, that's enough from me, in my first and last post in the Political forum ever. It gets scary around here.)


#6

There has already been a schism:

"Cult of Oregano", "Orthodox Monsterist Church of West Virginia", "Mystical Order of the Flying Spaghetti Monster", "Moomin Church of His Spaghettiness of Jersey (Channel Islands)".

Damn


#7

Don't forget the Meatball Cult. They even have their very own creation myth:[i]

On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor,
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden and under a bush,
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.

The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don't ever sneeze. [/i]


#8

Ignore the breakaway sects, they are the creation of dissenters attempting to divide and conquer.

They shall feel the wrath of His Noodly Appendage.

Ramen.


#9

Worship the sacred soup.


#10

Don't forget this one:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_spaghetti_monster

RAmen


#11

Good find pookie. From there I must share these prayers...

Our saucer which art in a colander, draining be your noodles. thy noodle come. thy meatballness be done on earth, as it is meaty in heaven. Give us this day our daily sauce, and forgive us our lack of piracy, as we pirate and smuggle against those who lack piracy with us. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us from non-red meat sauce. For thine is the colander, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. RAmen

And this one...

Our Pasta, who "Arghh" in heaven, Swallowed be thy shame. Thy Midgit come. Thy Sauce be yum, On top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day our garlic bread. And give us our cutlasses, As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss And lead us into temptation, But deliver us some Pizza. For thine are Meatballs, and the beer, and the strippers, for ever and ever. RAmen.

Which reminds me, it must be about time for lunch!


#12

You asshole I posted this earlier and gave the link to the site that started it all. It was the WWFSMD? thread.

His noodly appendage touched me first!


#13

Damn, sorry NNNate!

Ah well, it's not that big a deal.

We can laugh over this in the afterlife as we indulge in the volcano of beer while being attended by the products of the great stripper factory...


#14

Be not proud.
Those technical theologins and thier armies amass with furious anger and vengeful rage.
A cheeseburger-fed army of the faithful will crusade and wipe you all away.

Amir


#15

Where does one find the required officially licensed pirate regalia?


#16

I think your "WWFSMD?" title was too cryptic. Only worked if you already new about FSM.


#17

He's a handsome fellow.

(The Spaghetti Monster, I mean.)


#18

Best thread ever.


#19

Good point. Plus I don't have the "box office draw" power that Vroom does.


#20

after seeing that picture, I don't feel so bad about mine...