T Nation

Flowers

Why do girls like getting flowers so much? You know a guy wouldn’t have to know you at all or even think a little to get you any, right? So why do girls like them so much?

Because they have been properly conditioned through decades of creative marketing, thats all.

Because they look nice, are not fattening, or excesively expensive. They say “I’ve thought of you” in a very simple way. They beautify a home or room, they are a symbol of joy and happiness (usually), they smell nice. They can be preserved for posterity if so desired. Many women hang their flowers to dry or put them in books to dry. Then, in later years they can remember who they were from and still enjoy the memory! They do not overpower like jewellery might or other expensive trinkets. No need to wonder if they will be enjoyed or appreciated. They do not need to be returned or exchanged for a different color or size.
They are the perfect gift!

I’m not sure. I mean I guess it means you were thinking of her, but so does getting a hardon. It’s not much trouble to swing through the graveyard and pick up some fresh flowers for your sweetie (weekends are best, wear black) but the actual value of the flowers is still a mystery. You can’t eat them, the wither and look like shit in a couple of days. I mean giving her chocolate means “Hey you need to put on a few pounds”. Perfume means “You don’t smell all that great, try this cover scent”. They still like those things too. Women…you just can’t figure them out.

They don’t say ‘I thought of you’, they say the opposite! All girls say they want flowers so how much thought would it take to get a girl some?

How do you figure they don’t say I thought of youy? Maybe grabbing a bunch on your way out of the grocery store doesn’t indicate a GREAT deal of thought, but nevertheless there was some thought involved. Flowers are simple and nice and uncomplicated. Sure they wither, but perfume gets old, clothes get worn out, not all jewellery can be worn all the time, and chocolate is fattening! There is nothing very wrong with any of those gifts, for sure–and cars and trips are nice too!!!-- but flowers are simply sweet. At least I like them, anyways. My man can bring me flowers anytime (and does) and I love receiving them because: a) he brings them; b) they’re pretty. That’s all.

You’re right, it takes almost no effort to get someone a couple of flowers… but when was the last time most of you did it? Flowers, just like a card, a hand written note, or anyother thing that is out of the ordinary just says to us that you went a bit out of your way to do something special. And that’s always a good thing. And, I think, deep down every woman wants an excuse to brag about their man… and flowers are a great thing for that!!

They saw it on TV, their mother told them so and that is how they are supposed to behave. Nothing more, nothing less. If you think about it, 99 % of their life is soap-opera driven. :frowning:

they are completely feminine: they are pretty, they smell good, they add a lot of cheer to a room, they are a reminder of spring which also reminds me of fresh new life. if that sounds really frilly i am sorry. but a guy giving a girl flowers is very thoughtful because it is a symbol that he cares or is at least considering her. The last time I got flowers from a guy was about 3 years ago. I was really in a slump at school and I told my best girlfriend how much I loved purple and yellow roses and had always wanted them. Somehow she got in touch with the guy who was far away and he sent me them with a card. I totally did not expect it especially b/c it wasn’t like him to do shit like that: and I just coudln’t believe it. I was stunned. Of course I cried because not even b/c of the flowers: he could have sent me an email, or even a lump of coal or just said hey i am thinking about you and cheer up and I would have gone nuts. now if the guy wasn’t someone I knew then it may be a “aww how sweet” reaction but still, any guy who gives a girl flowers is sure to have scored himself some BIG points and is guaranteed to get another kind of score at one point or another. bionic woman has spoken. how.

Sasa and Dan K are right on the money. There’s nothing inherently great about flowers. It’s just been driven into them that getting flowers means something. Women are very competitive, and any chance they get to show what they got a man to do for them, they love it.

You don’t get laid a lot, do you?

No, I do not and I am not willing to pull Shakespeareian ego stroking stunts in order to get some. Neither am I prepared to be part time amateur psychologyst. Sorry for being different, having balls and pride. Any other questions?

Have you ever read Soren Kierkegaard? You sound a lot like him. He loved a woman named Regina, but when he decided to start courting her, the idea of engineering a plot to win her heart was distasteful to him. He felt that the love between a man and a woman should be a spontaneous thing that blossoms without the overwrought negotiation that is courtship. In the end, he did not pursue her and that was that. I hope you will find spontaneously conceived love, Sasa. For most of us, spontaneity needs a little help.

What does having balls and pride have to do with showing someone you care about them? Nothing. If you care there are ways to show it. Some are kind of illogical like giving flowers. Others aren’t. I suppose you could go through life being all manly and thinking people are looking up to you for your uncompromising ethical code. All the while the balls you’re so proud of are getting as rusty as the muffler on an old Renault because women usually respect guys that not only care about them but also aren’t afraid to show it. That is what takes balls my friend, not being a cold self centered he-man.

Steelyeyes and Hoyk are two enlightened men. (The rest of you - I got flowers once and about killed the guy for it. He couldn’t pay bills and I supported him, but he tried to get out of trouble once by giving me roses. I was ready to castrate him. It’s not just marketing, sorry.) How would you feel if you were a car nut and your Sig came home with a new wrench for you? Sure, you already have three of the exact same one, but the fact that she went out of her way to get you something is nice. You feel special and you know she was thinking of her. SURE, she was on her way into Sears to look at a new mixer and just happened to walk past the wrenches, which just happened to be 50% off so she spent exactly $2.75… but you know what? You still feel special, you still feel like she went out of her way, you sill feel good… and flowers are the same thing. “Flowers” are arbitrary… you could easily substitute a greeting card, a random telephone message, or a quick ‘I love you’ on a post it note on the bathroom mirror. Wake up and smell the coffee guys, if you make your girl feel special you will win and keep her heart… don’t go out of your way and perhaps you still will, but perhaps she will look for that elsewhere.

I think maybe I’m in some ways like that Kierkegaard guy (is he the philosopher?)

To Hyok: actually, yes. :slight_smile: I did not read any of his actual books or writings, however, there was a period of my life I spent studying philosophy in my spare time; actually, Soeren Kirkegaard along with Baruch Spinoza and Friedrich Nietzsche are my favourite philosophers. I especially like Kirkegaard’s views about religion. :-)Anyway, I know the story about Regina; however, Kirkegaard was married twice (his second wife was his housemaid or whatever you call the woman living in your house in the 19th century Denmark helping with chores :). He was also engaged with Regina, but the marriage was eventually cancelled. Therefore, he did not “give up” on trying to pursue her in the beginning, he just gave up eventually. :wink: you.

To SteelyEyes: I have no problems in showing affection or being friendly to other people, quite contrary. It is in fact very strange that you are endorsing certain tactics in order to prevent balls from getting rusty as a Renault's muffler. Interesting that you see women exclusively as means of testicle rust prevention and still bash me for having certain views stating quite the contrary! Very high moral and ethic code, don't you think, almost like bushido... If I didn't know better I would think that everything you do with women is inclined towards getting them into horizontal position. When I decide to stop being myself and lose everything I stand for,I will start doing everything an average (young! when they are older their priorities shift...) woman likes in a man; I will hit on women while being drunk, I will follow the rules of giving meaningless presents like flowers in exchange for sexual intercourse etc... maybe even beat the shit out of them, I have noticed that women simply *love* men who beat them and behave like assholes. Until then, please, respect my right to be different and honest, OK? In the meantime, please read "why do the good guys finish last" thread or one of the threads Goldberg started. Sorry for my spelling, it is too early in the morning for me to check it and I started a day riding my scooter in the rain at 5.40 am going to work - there are certainly better ways to start a week...

It’s just something you’re supposed to do if you’re a man. Like opening the door for her, or paying the check when you go out. It’s called romance and women love it. I can’t believe that so many guys never think of getting their woman flowers unless they are trying to make up after an argument (the worst time to buy flowers for her). It’s one of the easiest ways to be romantic! Don’t be embarrassed to buy flowers. It’s actually a lot of fun, and the girls who work at the flower store will also think you must be a really great guy to be buying flowers for your girlfriend/wife. I have never met a woman who didn’t like getting flowers.

I prefer a nice dinner - preferably with a nice big, medium rare steak. Flowers die, but a steak satiates!

Sasa does have a pretty good point here. A lot of the guys who are supplicating are also the ones who are writing the “I had this great girl, and everything was going great, but she dumped me” or “How come I can’t get girls” stuff. How you make a chick feel is the most important thing. And, making her feel a certain way dosen’t come from flowers necessarily.

There’s nothing wrong with buying a chick flowers, but she has to deserve them. I’m not giving a chick flowers to get laid. I’m not giving her flowers to boost her ego. I’m giving her flowers because we have a great relationship. Because I want her to feel good, cause she makes me feel good.

Valentines day is bullshit. Real love isn’t