[quote]Kailash wrote:
I… I wish I could swim. Like dolphins… Like dolphins can swim.[/quote]
Granted. You can swim. Like a dolphin…like a dolphin can swim. While showing off your blow hole you get entangled in a fisherman’s net and end up as an entry in David Barr’s Anabolic Index.
[quote]nikolo wrote:
Granted. You travel back millions of years only to discover how lonely you are. You breed with a Toumai, who later kills you to feed her young.
I wish upon a star.
[/quote]
That falling star was really a shit meteor from an airplane, and kills you instantly on impact… well, instantly after smelling it. Of course, this is why you never had a chance to tell us which wish was wished upon that star.
I wish I could speak and write every language fluently.
[quote]Ironbarr wrote:
Granted. But you have to wash everything down by drinking cow semen.
I wish I owned my own gym.[/quote]
Your gym has no squat racks.
I wish I was never born.
[quote]Ironbarr wrote:
T-Lurker wrote:
Granted. But now you have to adopt and raise seven children from around the world.
I wish I could cut weight eating whatever I want.
Granted. But you have to wash everything down by drinking cow semen.
I wish I owned my own gym.[/quote]
granted, but you are financially ruined by a crippling lack of people interested in weight training… you contemplate this personal tragedy each night as you cry yourself to sleep. oh, and everyone you have ever loved dies.
i wish for peace on earth.
[quote]Kailash wrote:
I wish I could speak and write every language fluently.[/quote]
granted, you kill yourself because you realize, after listening to boring, meaningless conversations in every language on earth, how irrelevant man is in to this universe.
i wish i was superman.
[quote]Kailash wrote:
Ironbarr wrote:
Granted. But you have to wash everything down by drinking cow semen.
I wish I owned my own gym.
Your gym has no squat racks.
I wish I was never born.[/quote]
granted, you remain a sperm cell, dead on a tissue your dad masturbated onto.
i wish i could fly.
[quote]Billmelater138 wrote:
granted, but you are financially ruined by a crippling lack of people interested in weight training… you contemplate this personal tragedy each night as you cry yourself to sleep. oh, and everyone you have ever loved dies.
i wish for peace on earth.[/quote]
Everyone is bored to death, and cockroaches inherit the planet.
I wish for infinite erections.
[quote]Billmelater138 wrote:
granted, you kill yourself because you realize, after listening to boring, meaningless conversations in every language on earth, how irrelevant man is in to this universe.
i wish i was superman.[/quote]
With great power, comes great responsiblity. You’re forever enslaved to saving people, without a moment’s rest.
I wish for the power of personal teleportation, as my new mode of transport.
[quote]Billmelater138 wrote:
granted, you remain a sperm cell, dead on a tissue your dad masturbated onto.
i wish i could fly.[/quote]
On your first flight, you’re sucked into the jet turbines of a Boeing 747. Some jerk kid on the plane sees this and says “Ha ha”, just like Nelson from the Simpsons.
I wish eating and drinking were unnecessary, that we could survive without them and grow muscles just by lifting weights and sleeping.
[quote]T-Lurker wrote:
Granted. But now you have to adopt and raise seven children from around the world.
I wish I could cut weight eating whatever I want.[/quote]
Granted, but all of the weight you cut is muscle mass, leaving you a pathetic shell of a man that is laughed at everywhere he goes.
I wish for world peace.
[quote]Lonnie123 wrote:
T-Lurker wrote:
Granted. But now you have to adopt and raise seven children from around the world.
I wish I could cut weight eating whatever I want.
Granted, but all of the weight you cut is muscle mass, leaving you a pathetic shell of a man that is laughed at everywhere he goes.
I wish for world peace.[/quote]
granted, but the genie takes it the wrong way and gives you a 70 ton piece of the world. right on top of you.
i wish that my house mate’s farts didn’t stink.
[quote]invictaWW wrote:
i wish that my house mate’s farts didn’t stink.
[/quote]
Granted. He kills himself in his room while telling you he went away for a week, and you don’t realise it till the smell hits you. After months of living in a stench that can not be removed, you move to a new place, with a new roommate, and his farts also stink.
I wish I could see what evil lurks in the hearts of men.
[quote]cap’nsalty wrote:
invictaWW wrote:
I wish I could see what evil lurks in the hearts of men.
[/quote]
Granted, but it blinds you and causes your gonads to shrivel and drop off.
I wish everyone would hang up their cell phone and use their fucking turn signals.
[quote]gojira wrote:
cap’nsalty wrote:
invictaWW wrote:
I wish I could see what evil lurks in the hearts of men.
Granted, but it blinds you and causes your gonads to shrivel and drop off.
I wish everyone would hang up their cell phone and use their fucking turn signals.[/quote]
Granted, but they try doing both at the same time leaving you in a 20 car pile up. The final result is that you have a cell phone glued to your head because your right arm is in a cast that is constantly signalling a turn.
[quote]malonetd wrote:
Ghost22 wrote:
I wish I didn’t have to work this summer.
Granted. You don’t have to work, but that’s only because you are in a coma.
I wish I was a little bit taller.[/quote]
Wish granted, but you will never be a baller or have a girl who looks good that you could call.
I wish that RIT Jared will actually get laid.
[quote]apayne wrote:
Wish granted, but you will never be a baller or have a girl who looks good that you could call.
I wish that RIT Jared will actually get laid.[/quote]
He does get laid, but it’s an orgy with you, your mother and father. And the family pet.
I wish I had a happy childhood (but not like the above).
[quote]
I wish I had a happy childhood (but not like the above).[/quote]
Granted. Too bad you were sheltered from the harsh realities of life, were never given any real life skills, and now you are forced to orally pleasure men in the streets to fund your crack habit.
I wish I could buy Flameout in IV form so I can have perpetually reduced inflammation.
[quote]
I wish I had a happy childhood (but not like the above).[/quote]
Granted. Your mind is filled with fond memories of the petting zoo and spending the night at Neverland Ranch in the “special” bedroom…
I wish I would get a publishing deal by the end of the year so I can quit my "real "job.
[quote]Kailash wrote:
I wish I had a happy childhood (but not like the above).[/quote]
Granted. Your childhood was amazingly happy and joyous, with no pain or sorrow whatsoever. However your “childhood” ended at age 13 when tragedy struck and you were kidnapped and taken to an Asian sweatshop to produce American sneakers for little or no pay. Enjoy.
I wish I had an unlimited supply of Fuity Pebbles.
[quote]malonetd wrote:
I wish I had an unlimited supply of Fuity Pebbles.[/quote]
Greanted. But the first bite sends you back into the stone age and you have to wear animal skins and stop you car with your feet.
I wish I could compete (and win) drug-free in the WSM.