T Nation

Flip the Wish

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:
I wish I had a free supply of Biotest supplements.

[/quote]

Granted, but Biotest no longer produces the muscle enhancing supplements it was once known for. Its ads are found in cheap porn magazines and their “supplements” includes Horny Goat Weed, a viagra-like product, and a worthless penis enlarging pill. Enjoy.

[quote]gojira wrote:
I wish Amy Shipley would start crusading against tobacco instead of the supplement industry.[/quote]

Granted. Amy Shipley successfully sways the government into outlawing all tobacco and tobacco products. However, this divides the country and sends the US spiraling into a bloody civil war, ten times the size of the war in the 1860’s.

I wish I had a pet gorilla that could talk.

[quote]gojira wrote:

Granted, but Amy Shipley has had her way and they’re all illegal.

I wish Amy Shipley would start crusading against tobacco instead of the supplement industry.[/quote]

Granted. Unfortunately her attempts only anger big tobacco and this just makes it angrier and bigger, ultimately developing the Wonder Cig, that’s as big as your car but only lasts 5 minutes so you keep having to buy more.

I wish the restoration of my Chevelle was done so I can start showing it.

[quote]malonetd wrote:

I wish I had a pet gorilla that could talk.[/quote]

Granted, but all he says is “Get ready for some lovin’ malonetd!”

I wish Angelina Jolie would have sex with me.

Granted. But now you have to adopt and raise seven children from around the world.

I wish I could cut weight eating whatever I want.

[quote]lostinthought wrote:
Granted. Unfortunately her attempts only anger big tobacco and this just makes it angrier and bigger, ultimately developing the Wonder Cig, that’s as big as your car but only lasts 5 minutes so you keep having to buy more.

I wish the restoration of my Chevelle was done so I can start showing it. [/quote]

Granted, but looking so hot, it’s stolen at the first show and never recovered.

I wish I had complete mastery over my emotions.

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:
malonetd wrote:

I wish I had a pet gorilla that could talk.

Granted, but all he says is “Get ready for some lovin’ malonetd!”

I wish Angelina Jolie would have sex with me.

[/quote]

Granted, but first you have to give oral to Brad Pitt so you can taste her. You learn to love it and now we have the 3 headed hydra BranjelinaShindo on the cover of all the tabloids.

I wish Monica Belluci wants to have my babies.

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:
Granted, but all he says is “Get ready for some lovin’ malonetd!”

I wish Angelina Jolie would have sex with me.[/quote]

Granted, but it’s a gang rape by her and Brad Pitt; who throat fucks you while Angelina bangs you in the ass with a three-inch thick double headed dildo. You don’t even get to see her because you’re blindfolded (up until Brad Pitt’s thrusting pubis fills your vision) and you don’t even get to fell her tits on your back because she’s got you bent over so far… lol, I think that covers all bases. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that you came to like it too, just by the time they were finished with the rape.

I wish I didn’t have such a sick imagination!

Look at that, great sick minds think alike.

[quote]Kailash wrote:

I wish I didn’t have such a sick imagination![/quote]

You don’t. But instead you live a double life as a gay-german porn-produce’s assistant. His main talent is pulling rabits from where they don’t belong.

I wish I wasn’t so lonely.

[quote]Ryu13 wrote:
Kailash wrote:

I wish I didn’t have such a sick imagination!

You don’t. But instead you live a double life as a gay-german porn-produce’s assistant. His main talent is pulling rabits from where they don’t belong.

I wish I wasn’t so lonely.
[/quote]

Granted. A certain gay porn assistance discovers you and you are now known in the industry as the mile man. Laid tip to balls you have sampled over one mile of male junk.

I wish I could communicate with wombats.

[quote]T-Lurker wrote:
Granted. But now you have to adopt and raise seven children from around the world.

I wish I could cut weight eating whatever I want.[/quote]

Granted. But you have to wash everything down by drinking cow semen.

I wish I owned my own gym.

[quote]Ryu13 wrote:
Kailash wrote:

I wish I wasn’t so lonely.
[/quote]

Granted, your surrounded by people…all the time. They never leave you alone. You take a dump and there are people watching, your jerking off,and people are watching, your thrying to sleep, but people are watching. Your never alone.

I wish that I had an evil monkey that I could dress in armor and have battles with.

[quote]Kailash wrote:
ToShinDo wrote:
Granted, but all he says is “Get ready for some lovin’ malonetd!”

I wish Angelina Jolie would have sex with me.

Granted, but it’s a gang rape by her and Brad Pitt; who throat fucks you while Angelina bangs you in the ass with a three-inch thick double headed dildo. You don’t even get to see her because you’re blindfolded (up until Brad Pitt’s thrusting pubis fills your vision) and you don’t even get to fell her tits on your back because she’s got you bent over so far… lol, I think that covers all bases. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that you came to like it too, just by the time they were finished with the rape.

I wish I didn’t have such a sick imagination![/quote]

Granted, you now design paper towel graphic for a living.

I wish these guys would stop telling us about their Brad Pitt fantasies.

[quote]gojira wrote:

I wish these guys would stop telling us about their Brad Pitt fantasies.[/quote]

Granted. You now have to live the rest of your days hearing all our Gojira fantasies.

I wish I was Gojira’s 1936 HD knucklehead in original, mint condition.

[quote]Mwschwab wrote:
Granted, your surrounded by people…all the time. They never leave you alone. You take a dump and there are people watching, your jerking off,and people are watching, your thrying to sleep, but people are watching. Your never alone.

I wish that I had an evil monkey that I could dress in armor and have battles with.[/quote]

The evil monkey wins every time, leaving you a broken and bleeding mess at the end of each battle. He would finish you off, but the evilness won’t allow. He just waits until you’ve healed well enough before breaking you again.

I… I wish I could swim. Like dolphins… Like dolphins can swim.

[quote]nikolo wrote:
Granted. You now have to live the rest of your days hearing all our Gojira fantasies.

I wish I was Gojira’s 1936 HD knucklehead in original, mint condition.[/quote]

Her husband alone rides you, up until that fatal crash. Gojira is excited that now she can marry her secret lover. Which of course is me. (She gets to hear my fantasy too, without breaking the thread. How clever is that?)

But I wish I had true creative muse power, one thousand times that of the most prolific artists.

[quote]nikolo wrote:
I wish I was Gojira’s 1936 HD knucklehead in original, mint condition.[/quote]

Granted, but then she’s going to beat the shit out of you and steal it back.

[quote]nikolo wrote:

I wish I was Gojira’s 1936 HD knucklehead in original, mint condition.[/quote]

Granted, but now she’s not interested and leaves you to sit and rust at the back of the garage.

I wish I could study the first hominids.

[quote]Madman2 wrote:

I wish I could study the first hominids.[/quote]

Granted. You travel back millions of years only to discover how lonely you are. You breed with a Toumai, who later kills you to feed her young.

I wish upon a star.