T Nation

'First Dibsies'

(Pre-emptive “Cool Story, Bro” picture attached)

Weird-ass experience in the gym today. Both squat racks are occupied, one by a guy squatting some serious weight, and the other by some hipster doing Tibetan Teres Minor contractions or some such. Hipster finally removes his weight and leaves, and I immediately step onto the platform and position the bar at squat height.

“FIRST DIBSIES!” someone yells from across the gym. Guy in his mid 50’s in reasonably decent shape. He speed-walks over to me.

“Excuse me?” I ask.

“I called first dibsies on this, sorry bud” he replied.

“I’m not familiar with first dibsies. Umm, would you like to work in?” I ask

He then gives an exasperated sigh, as if I’m ignoring a basic rule of gym decorum. “If I call first dibsies before you load up your first plate, I get the rack” he continues.

“Listen, I’ve never heard of that. You are more than welcome to work-in” I offer.

“I’m doing descending supersets here (?!?), so I’m going to need the rack to myself” he says.

Finally he looks over to the guy next to us, who is resting between sets and clearly doesn’t want to get involved. “Hey man, didn’t you hear me call first dibsies on this?” he asks the guy. “Yeah, don’t know what that is. At all. Sorry” the guy replies.

I offer one last time to let this guy work in, and he gets into a big huff. “Fuck, just forget it” he says, and then storms into the changeroom.

Question to lifters of his generation - is “First Dibsies” an actual thing, or was this man marching to the beat of a drummer that no one else can hear?

That guy was an idiot who probably hung on to some stupid rule him and his brothers made up when they had a sand weight set in their basement growing up.

Yes. ‘First Dibs’ is a recognised playground rule. You can look it up on Wikipedia.

Let me get this straight, you stepped into the rack BEFORE Mr Dibs, yet he somehow thinks he gets preferential treatment because he yelled something from across the gym?

For his ‘dibsies’ to be effective, he would’ve had to make that arrangement with the guy who was in the rack before him.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Let me get this straight, you stepped into the rack BEFORE Mr Dibs, yet he somehow thinks he gets preferential treatment because he yelled something from across the gym?

For his ‘dibsies’ to be effective, he would’ve had to make that arrangement with the guy who was in the rack before him. [/quote]

I would agree with ID on this one. He had to call Dibs before you got to the rack. Once the rack was within your personal zone it was too late. Thus he was Dib-blocked. Your response could have included the traditional ‘Niener, niener’.

[quote]MartyMonster wrote:
… Your response could have included the traditional ‘Niener, niener’.[/quote]

LMFAO!

A dude in his fifties? I’d have expected that from a six-year-old, not a grown man.

Shit man, I know I’m overreacting, but that sort of thing just burns me up! If I were literally in the rack getting ready to go, and some fuckface said “Sorry bro I called first dibsies before you loaded your first plate, so I get the rack.” I would have had to lay hands on him. I think I may have lost it lol.

[quote]kakno wrote:
A dude in his fifties? I’d have expected that from a six-year-old, not a grown man.[/quote]

What is life without whimsy?

Remember when you’d line up your quarters on an arcade game to let the guy playing know that you were next?

Did you ask him if he even lifts?

Never heard of such non-sense … When he was explaining this “rule” you should’ve drawn two circles on your arm with your finger then proceeded to put dots in them and then explain to Mr. Dibsie that it’s a known “rule” that you have to give yourself a cootie shot whenever someone says something as monumentally gay as First Dibsies

Dude sounds like a tool bag

The best chair in the living room was Dad’s recliner.

Were any of my two brothers or I saavy enough to sit in it, we had to call out “Save Seat!” if we left the hallowed post.

That is unless Dad wanted to sit there, if so, all policies were over ruled and your ass found a patch of rug.

Pimp, you’re Dad in this scenario, and you need not deal with any guff from a dude who claimed anything with the “ies” at the end of the root word.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]MartyMonster wrote:
… Your response could have included the traditional ‘Niener, niener’.[/quote]

LMFAO!
[/quote]

seriously, maybe the best thing i have ever read on T-Nation…ever

I can’t imagine an adult doing something like that. What a tool

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Remember when you’d line up your quarters on an arcade game to let the guy playing know that you were next?[/quote]

You gotta put the plates down to call dibsies.

I second what ID said. You beat him to it. Occupy squat rack!

The guy had to be a functional retard.

[quote]imhungry wrote:
The guy had to be a functional retard.[/quote]

At least he was functional.

Here’s what to do in the future:

Gym guy: First dibsies!

You: Anti-dibsies! Quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no dibsies.

Gym guy: You can’t do that!

You: Can too!

Gym guy: Can not, stamped it!

You: Can too; double stamped it, no erasies!

Gym guy: Can not; triple stamped it, no erasies, touch blue, make it true.

You: You can’t triple stamp a double stamp. Looks like I win. Now get out of my rack.

[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Here’s what to do in the future:

Gym guy: First dibsies!

You: Anti-dibsies! Quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no dibsies.

Gym guy: You can’t do that!

You: Can too!

Gym guy: Can not, stamped it!

You: Can too; double stamped it, no erasies!

Gym guy: Can not; triple stamped it, no erasies, touch blue, make it true.

You: You can’t triple stamp a double stamp. Looks like I win. Now get out of my rack.[/quote]

LOL.

Then we can all pretend the gym floor is lava and can only get to the benches and weight racks by stepping on plates scattered on the floor.