[quote]gregron wrote:
I size up people and situations all the time but its mostly old habits that I learned at different schools I went to when I was in the military. I just do it without event thinking now. Most people would think I was some paranoid freak if they knew what I was thinking/planning lol
[/quote]
Same here, but from prison, not military.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
Yesterday I ran into a friend,whom I have not seen in awhile, at work. He was really happy to see me and we caught up with each other for a few minutes. One of my coworkers came up to me and told me that there was a truck waiting to be unloaded. I told him that Ill be there in a couple minutes and he left. My friend asked “What was all that about?”
I asked him what was he talking about. He told me that my body language was very defensive. That my body was squared up to my coworkers,my eyes starred at him,hardly blinking and my hands tensed up. He could tell that I was about ready to fight him. I told him that I just didnt like working here. However,This got me thinking;Does everybody else size people up?
Do we do it to only people we dont like or even people that we like but think that in the back of our minds what we can do if it got to “that point”? And people that we dont even know or just met? Is it only guys that do this;where we are always calculating how to fight and win against other dudes? [/quote]
I imagine your friend is pretty pretentious is he walks around “reading” people’s body language like that.
I wouldn’t put any thought into this if I was you.[/quote]
He was right though;I dont like my co-worker. I think its important to know what to look for if someone is going to try something. I’ve bumped heads with my supervisors before and even though I dont huff and puff to him about it,I let it be known that im not going to fold. I guess were all wired to size people up but I guess more people are more better at hiding it than others.
Status struggles are commonplace and take many forms.
The depth of a shop counter more or less corresponds to the accepted ‘social zone’ of the Western world (the idea is for the customer not to feel threatened by the invasion of their personal space); most people when in a business meeting-type situation will not sit in the chair nearest the door. It’s a subconscious reaction to not wanting to be in a position of vulnerability (you can’t see who is coming in). It’s the weakest position in the room and it will usually be the last seat to be occupied…
yep -
I always look peoples in the eye - always scanning for threats.
ya just never know~
[quote]Edgy wrote:
yep -
I always look peoples in the eye - always scanning for threats.
[/quote]
Easy for you to say. You’re tall.
I have to stare at a crotch and determine if it’s a threat.
lol
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
yep -
I always look peoples in the eye - always scanning for threats.
[/quote]
Easy for you to say. You’re tall.
I have to stare at a crotch and determine if it’s a threat.
lol
[/quote]
LOL!!!
[quote]roybot wrote:
Status struggles are commonplace and take many forms.
The depth of a shop counter more or less corresponds to the accepted ‘social zone’ of the Western world (the idea is for the customer not to feel threatened by the invasion of their personal space); most people when in a business meeting-type situation will not sit in the chair nearest the door. It’s a subconscious reaction to not wanting to be in a position of vulnerability (you can’t see who is coming in). It’s the weakest position in the room and it will usually be the last seat to be occupied…
[/quote]
I have a table in my meeting room positioned so that the head is at the room door. It could be the foot I suppose but I like sitting by the door, I feel it gives me greater command of my audience. Plus I like the view out the back window.
I’ve been in meetings with other people at their office who do the same. Not sure i follow the
'weak" logic. It’s more like you can control who comes in or out, but I suppose that is a state of mind/personal perception.
I also find that when “making a deal” closing in on personal space, when done correctly, is helpful. You bring their gaurd up, break it down, give control of it back to them but own it psychologically. It’s very key.
No offense to any one posting, but it’s my impression that generally the pussies do the chest puffing, shoulder bumping on a sidewalk and general posturing in public, not to be confused with sizing up, checking out, looking over what ever.
Like a little dog barking it’s head off but needing an escape route just in case the dog it’s barking at gets serious.
Big dogs on the other hand never get off the porch, even if they are cornered by a house and railings. The thought of a threat just doesn’t cross their mind in day to day life but if one appears you can bet a bulldog will bite it’s neck until it submits.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
yep -
I always look peoples in the eye - always scanning for threats.
[/quote]
Easy for you to say. You’re tall.
I have to stare at a crotch and determine if it’s a threat.
lol
[/quote] So many gay jokes could be inserted here…
[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
Yesterday I ran into a friend,whom I have not seen in awhile, at work. He was really happy to see me and we caught up with each other for a few minutes. One of my coworkers came up to me and told me that there was a truck waiting to be unloaded. I told him that Ill be there in a couple minutes and he left. My friend asked “What was all that about?”
I asked him what was he talking about. He told me that my body language was very defensive. That my body was squared up to my coworkers,my eyes starred at him,hardly blinking and my hands tensed up. He could tell that I was about ready to fight him. I told him that I just didnt like working here. However,This got me thinking;Does everybody else size people up?
Do we do it to only people we dont like or even people that we like but think that in the back of our minds what we can do if it got to “that point”? And people that we dont even know or just met? Is it only guys that do this;where we are always calculating how to fight and win against other dudes? [/quote]
I don’t think I do it, but I am very aware of my surroundings, but I generally do not even acknowledge the existence of any particular individual. I was told by an ex early in our not to long ago relationship (as we were getting to know each other) that people “are intimidated by me” (apparently she was observing this on a visit). I was completely unaware of this, except of course when I intend to be intimidating. It was just a normal day. I was, and remain, dumbfounded by the observation. It has since been confirmed by others so I guess a little enlightenment came my way.
I’d say if you’re always calculating how to fight and win against other dudes, you’d be pretty insecure - kind of like the dog on the other side of fence, always pacing and barking, compared to the other dog behind the fence, that just is the master of his domain, aware of you, but not alarmed, and WILL bite you if you cross the fence. One dog is nervous and threatening, the other dog is confident and prepared.
[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
Yesterday I ran into a friend,whom I have not seen in awhile, at work. He was really happy to see me and we caught up with each other for a few minutes. One of my coworkers came up to me and told me that there was a truck waiting to be unloaded. I told him that Ill be there in a couple minutes and he left. My friend asked “What was all that about?”
I asked him what was he talking about. He told me that my body language was very defensive. That my body was squared up to my coworkers,my eyes starred at him,hardly blinking and my hands tensed up. He could tell that I was about ready to fight him. I told him that I just didnt like working here. However,This got me thinking;Does everybody else size people up?
Do we do it to only people we dont like or even people that we like but think that in the back of our minds what we can do if it got to “that point”? And people that we dont even know or just met? Is it only guys that do this;where we are always calculating how to fight and win against other dudes? [/quote]
I imagine your friend is pretty pretentious is he walks around “reading” people’s body language like that.
I wouldn’t put any thought into this if I was you.[/quote]
He was right though;I dont like my co-worker. I think its important to know what to look for if someone is going to try something. I’ve bumped heads with my supervisors before and even though I dont huff and puff to him about it,I let it be known that im not going to fold. I guess were all wired to size people up but I guess more people are more better at hiding it than others.
[/quote]
You’d be well advised to avoid it at work. If your friend can easily spot your gross body language, what kind of signals (gross and subtle) do you think your superiors receive? It may not matter at the job you have now, but may matter in the future. And trust me, anytime you work for someone else, there will be an aspect, or a time, that you “hate” or dislike your job.
[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
I also find that when “making a deal” closing in on personal space, when done correctly, is helpful. You bring their gaurd up, break it down, give control of it back to them but own it psychologically. It’s very key.
[/quote]
If you did this to me, I wouldn’t like it and I’d probably not like you after it. And I would be unlikely to do business with you unless I had to. Real talk. You cannot bring my guard up, and bring it back down and/or otherwise “take control”. If you made my guard go up, you are no longer in control of bringing it back down.
Of course, the sheeple of the world may be different, who knows.
I live in a very military town. As you can imagine there are a lot of over-inflated egos. Problem is, there are so many people in very secret parts of the military walking around that don’t look like they are in the military. Puff your chest if you will, but you really have no idea how many people are around you that have killed men with their bare hands. It’s a very bad place to pick fight with random people, or just be a general douche. Back to the point, being in the military I have learned to size people up, feel situations out, but the key is to not look like you are doing it. Maintaining non-threatening posture but having an ice-cold glare fucks people’s heads up. Try it. 'Tis enjoyable.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
yep -
I always look peoples in the eye - always scanning for threats.
[/quote]
Easy for you to say. You’re tall.
I have to stare at a crotch and determine if it’s a threat.
lol
[/quote]
Boner Alert!
[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
I have a table in my meeting room positioned so that the head is at the room door. It could be the foot I suppose but I like sitting by the door, I feel it gives me greater command of my audience. Plus I like the view out the back window.
I’ve been in meetings with other people at their office who do the same. Not sure i follow the
'weak" logic. It’s more like you can control who comes in or out, but I suppose that is a state of mind/personal perception.
I also find that when “making a deal” closing in on personal space, when done correctly, is helpful. You bring their gaurd up, break it down, give control of it back to them but own it psychologically. It’s very key.
No offense to any one posting, but it’s my impression that generally the pussies do the chest puffing, shoulder bumping on a sidewalk and general posturing in public, not to be confused with sizing up, checking out, looking over what ever.
Like a little dog barking it’s head off but needing an escape route just in case the dog it’s barking at gets serious.
Big dogs on the other hand never get off the porch, even if they are cornered by a house and railings. The thought of a threat just doesn’t cross their mind in day to day life but if one appears you can bet a bulldog will bite it’s neck until it submits.
[/quote]
I got in a lot of trouble when I was younger, so it became second nature. always park facing out, always have running shoes on. things like that, no because of the fight, but to get away once the fight was over. Then from working security I got in the habit of always having walls or fences at my back, not letting people be directly behind me, and I still hate it.
When we are in unfamiliar places, I make my wife walk in front of me, with the kids, then I can keep track of what is going on. It is funny how unsafe the layout of most areas is, as far as violence rape and abduction. I mean places you would think should be.
there is also a difference between puffing your chest and challenging, sometimes people give off an insult through body language without knowing it.
And to be astute to body language is a good thing, we have a primal and instinctive nature, it would be idiotic not to understand it.
BG, is right, you need to be calculating in your behavior.
Especially at work, there are situations in which you may need to assert yourself, but be smart and do for gain not for loss.
It is one thing to be observant and prepared, another to be figdity and draw attention.
When I am in public alone I walk with purpose.
and keep my sunglasses on.
Its probably uber defensive and its to keep away frakking perverts.
It’s funny. I only get bit defensive when going back home from work at night because the area is very bad, but I feel very safe in this city, much more than in my hometown.
So I decided to check some statistics to compare and…
"The most violent European capital is Tallinn in Estonia, where the murder rate is 9.4 per 100,000. "
I’m quite shocked.
EDIT : Woah, Estonia is ranked #15 in the world in the list of countries by intentional homicide rate. I’m really, really surprised to read all this.
[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
[quote]roybot wrote:
Status struggles are commonplace and take many forms.
The depth of a shop counter more or less corresponds to the accepted ‘social zone’ of the Western world (the idea is for the customer not to feel threatened by the invasion of their personal space); most people when in a business meeting-type situation will not sit in the chair nearest the door. It’s a subconscious reaction to not wanting to be in a position of vulnerability (you can’t see who is coming in). It’s the weakest position in the room and it will usually be the last seat to be occupied…
[/quote]
I have a table in my meeting room positioned so that the head is at the room door. It could be the foot I suppose but I like sitting by the door, I feel it gives me greater command of my audience. Plus I like the view out the back window.
I’ve been in meetings with other people at their office who do the same. Not sure i follow the
'weak" logic. It’s more like you can control who comes in or out, but I suppose that is a state of mind/personal perception.
[/quote]
That’s different because it’s your territory, and you control the space. You’re also the last to sit down…so you can see who’s coming in. I was talking about neutral space…
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
When I am in public alone I walk with purpose.
and keep my sunglasses on.
Its probably uber defensive and its to keep away frakking perverts.[/quote]
Hypocrite~
(JK)
[quote]StevenF wrote:
I always plan escape routes in public places. Never was in the military but I started after the scene in Bourne Identity when he is in the restaurant with the chick telling her what he was thinking. Rather not be eating at an IHOP when a crazed gunman enters and not know where to run right away. [/quote]
Or if the place catches on fire. Exit - Stage left.