An abridged last 3 years, *clears throat"
Went to university, Dad dies 3 months in, wallow in self pity, put on close to 90lbs through to much drinking and eating shit, up to 336lbs. Get the opportunity to do an internship, something clicks, I fuck off that lifestyle and decide to change.
Working my ass of in the gym 5 days a week, lost that initial 90lbs now, got another 45lbs to go, currently at 239lb. So to me, drinking doesnt really seem worth it. I had a few beers Xmas eve and a session in Nov for my 21st, but other than that, pretty much booze free, which is the main part…
Went to a club last weekend and again last night, its fucking weird i’m telling you. As you can imagine, being previously 336lbs leaves you with fuck all confidence to approach girls. I used to do it and get knocked back, but didnt care. I’m having to relearn going out! Like I said I still need to lose 45lbs or so.
Now I have a built in mechanism that says “Haha, you fat prick, not a chance” as I result I look like the most wooden, uninspiring guy in there. Got properly palmed off last night by this girl. The closest I got to any action was when this dude wanted to fight me! Even little things like asking a girl for her number last week who’d i’d spent ages chatting to fucked up as I froze.
The narcissist in me says “Your a fucking good looking guy, dont settle for any old shit, get involved!” I reckon that by the time summer comes along, I should be looking pretty good. Reckon I should just cut all this shit out, smash it in the gym and the kitchen and hit the tiles when i’m looking much better? Or carry on going out and likely striking out for now
I suppose I still have a bit of a confidence issue. Any other former fat boys or former skinny dudes (the confidence thing is all one breed i think) have this issue? Overcome it?