T Nation

Feeling Old in Mid-Twenties


#1

I am not talking about working out wise or health wise. Best shape ever and it just keeps getting better every year. Started losing hair not super noticeable yet but it started. But I am not even talking about that, I laughed this off by buying an electric razor and going number 2, feels great.

But now that college is long gone and been working for a while and moved away from my high school friends (they still visit and I them) life kind of feels monotonous. Miss not knowing what the next few months are going to bring, miss just random people showing up at my apartment/dorm, miss randomly showing up at friends' places.

I have never been a partier so it's not like I miss crazy parties and getting trashed or anything like that. But it does feel like this all is a bit boring. People now pair up with couples and go on couples vacations (god that's boring) as their fun time. Not a lot of people do spur of the moment type stuff. It seems like most that I meet in my age group are just going to work, home, dinner, sleep. Weekend is choirs and they just look forward to their vacations.

Anyone else felt or feel like this at mid twenties? Find a cure haha?

Wish hitting her or sticking it in the pooper was the answer :slight_smile:

So far the only solution I came up with is saving up 6 months worth of pay and going to Quebec in Canada and traveling/learning french for six months. Really only thing that's exciting these days and people think I am out my mind for it. What about your job? how will you get around? but you don't speak the language and so on. Can't even find anyone that would be willing to come along.


#2

I felt old when I was 22 or 23 also. I understand. 37 now by the way.

I guess it's because the future is unknown and today is the latest day in your life and yeah, you can be 23 and look back at high school and say "Holy shit! I finished high school 5 years ago!!!

I joined the army (Canadian) at 18 and got out at 20 and was in a rush to go to university and had a chance to do a tour in Yugoslavia ( it was 1993 and that place was needing peacekeepers) and I got a call after from the army saying I was qualified to go to Yugo but I told the army no thanks as I'd already registered. I remember feeling that I'd better hurry up as my buddies that were in university had a head start on me.

Now I look back and wonder why I didn't just go. Hell it was 17 or 18 years ago!

I recall another time when I was in university , about age 23 or 24, and me and a couple of buddies would go to a local nightclub but on Monday nights (I didn't have class on Tuesday mornings or something like that) and we'd sit and have a few beers, watched the few girls that would come out on a Monday dance, and play pool.
But sometimes I'd feel like I was wasting away in there. Like I was literally wasting my life. Maybe I was. I look back on that time (13 or 14 years ago) and can have fond memories of sitting around drinking beer with those buddies, but oddly enough still remember how it felt to feel like I was too old for this shit.

I'd say it's important to feel good about what you're doing now. I'm happy here and now and i guess actually feel younger than I did at 24. Stupid I guess.


#3

I feel like that sometimes. It's a transitory period in your life. Everyday society has been molded in a way that is monotonous. A lot of people go on to marriage or kids and find happiness in that. Other's don't.

You just gotta find something to do. Finances are usually what ties people down to a boring life. If you can get enough passive cash, you can travel around a lot, spend your time involved in other stuff.

If you're really bored with life, go join a branch of the military.


#4

^ This and it is called adult life. It is a grind or it can be fulfilling. If you are not married with kids, then you need to get the fuck out and enjoy life. Responsibilities of life will mount up the older you get, you want to look back and say you enjoyed things in your life with no regrets. Some of us had to grind early on, I had my first kid at 17 and he is now 19.

So the later part of my life will be about going out and doing things. Another reason why I lift and eat well so I can be healthy and strong when that time comes. I will be 41 years old and have raised 5 kids to adulthood and be on my own (with my wife). Get ready cause I plan to enjoy myself. That is what you need to do now.


#5

I am in a similar situation. 27 and single. Just missed the whole marriage and kids train and now kinda wondering if maybe I shouldn't have. I don't know though; I watch my nieces and nephews a lot and I love em', I just don't know if I can handle my own just yet. I feel like I should be at the point in my life where I can, but meh.

Part of me wants to just take off and go travel around Europe for a while (I have a well paying job that is pretty slow in the winter), but wouldn't want to go by myself and all of my friends either have the money but not the time, or visa versa.


#6

I think the thing that sticks with me the most right now (I'm 23) is that I see some of my friends starting their lives already and seeing the first signs of success and I'm still here spinning my wheels trying to get things going. We all graduated from university together and I like to think that I came out in better shape than they did (financially and physically) but they've already got things in motions.

It is a weird time for sure, I just find the easiest thing to do is to always keep your priorities in check and stay happy. As long as you enjoy what you do, good things will happen. Kind of a hippie answer, but it's brought some clarity to me recently.


#7

Save your money and volunteer your time to a charitable organization - there are plenty that need help. IMO, the worst thing you can do right now is to get deeply involved in internet forums because that quagmire will drag you even deeper into a rut and isolate you even more. You could also talk one of your HS buds into moving with you to an entirely different place - a cool, up and coming young city - and move in together or at least into the same building. I know people who have done this and had a great time.

If you aren't happy with your life, change it up.

DB


#8

go get some some ass, brah


#9

A solution to most world's problems :slight_smile:

It seems like I am not the only one that feels this is a bit of a boring time. Only a few months away from saving enough to go travel so I am looking forward to that. Other than that I don't have much to add. Maybe I need to find more friends that are willing to go to another country for a few months at a time, spur of the moment, as it seems most people I know and close friends are too busy with their own lives to do something like that. Careers, families, back in school etc.


#10

Dude, go travelling in south america. I guarantee you will not get bored there. You may not want to come back :). Just stay out of columbia...


#11

Everything after College has been a downward spiral of work, alcohol abuse, and silent rage.

Welcome to the party, pal.


#12

Everything after College has been a downward spiral of work, alcohol abuse, and silent rage.

Welcome to the party, pal.


#13

^^^Needed to be said twice?


#14

This is so depressing and yet very true for the overwhelming majority of people I know.

Not me though! I'm gonna keep on rockin' forever.....forever.....forever..................forever


#15

Age isn't a bad thing, stagnation and faiure are. I'm 26 and almost every man I admire and want to be more like is over 30, and most are over 40.


#16

I M M O R T A L ?


#17

Its your life dude. Own it. Circumstances can make you feel that way, im almost 25 and "wtf, where did the time go".

Go out, compete in something, learn new things every day, meet new people, better yourself. It doesnt all have to be the routine of monotony. I am much happier at 24 than I was when i was younger, partied, more, was single, etc. Just go do something, most people spend their lives in regret..


#18

Well I got to say, I'm kind of with you on this. I'm 26 and I'm amazed at how quickly time is going now that, as you said, days become more alike because you don't have the breaks in school or whatever to look forward to. I felt it a little stronger earlier this year. I had a hot girlfriend, good job, etc. but I would still be wondering, "Man, is this all there is? Why doesn't it feel right yet?"

What job do you have? Is it fulfilling? Because that's where you're going to be spending a shitload of time over the next 40 years or so.

I'm a journalist and a writer, so the job itself is never the same, not on any day. And when it does feel the slightest bit monotonous, something remarkable (or remarkably bad) happens that reminds me that everything can change, be taken away, in seconds.

I realized this year that really the only things you ahve to look forward to when you're older are your experiences and what you learn, or are learning. This year I read probably 15 books, started a bunch more, kept my own column up, became a MUCH better boxer, learned to hit the speedbag (something small that you will always be able to show off for the rest of your life), got much more into camping and deep sea fishing, shot a gun for the first time (ranging from a 9mm to an AK 47), and covered my first professional boxing match last week where I got to meet Roy Jones Jr., Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, and a host of other very famous people.

None of these things really fell into my lap. I had to put in countless hours to learn to hit a speedbag, I had to go out of my way to learn to shoot, I had to connive and con my way into covering that fight... but without it, what the fuck would I have to look forward to?

I have two suggestions. One is to read about the life of Hemingway, and the other is go to this site: http://artofmanliness.com. Take one article a week off that, and really try to learn about the subject they talk about, or learn a skill that they outlined (on your own, or seek out a teacher). Something minor like learning about Baroque art, learning French (as you said), learning to cook, box, grapple, or start a fire without matches can be something that makes you feel like you've accomplished something, and gives you an itch to accomplish more.

As for Hemingway, regardless of what you think about his writing, the idea of living his type of life is what guys should strive for. When you look back at your life, would you rather have the pictures of a standard life, or one sthat have you posing next to marlin you caught or lions you shot, with your boxing gloves on, with a shotgun in hand, in the mud in Europe during a war and later in the capital of a Carribean county posing next to one of the most infamous dictators in the century?

Whateve you do, DO IT. Don't be complacent, don't say you'll learn to cook tomorrow (the worst word ever, in my opinion) or you'll call the martial arts/leatherworking/whatever school "when you have the time."

Just do things. Don't lament that no one will do them with you. Trust me, if what you're doing is cool enough, people will want to fuckin come.


#19

You feel as if you've missed the marriage train? I've always thought of 27 as the youngest that one should marry.


#20

I'm 20 and I feel pretty blah. School and work are wearing me out. I have good grades, planning to transfer from a cc to university. I work 25-30 hours a week as a Dishwasher. The problem is Im stuck as a dishwasher. We are so understaffed that if I stopped working then they wouldn't have a replacement for the days I work..finding replacements has been nearly impossible lately. I think it would be best if I just left but I would be screwing over a lot of friends who work there. Atleast I'm semi appreciated.

So the point of that bitching was that I go to school then kill myself at work. Then I go home at midnight, up for six,school,work,sleep,school,sleep,school,work.

The only hobby I have energy left for is the internet.