Run like the wind.
All that luggage and can’t draw the line of where a friendship/relationship differs.
Broke your heart and keeps coming to you for emotional support/hit it and quit it?
Wants to watch a movie and “cuddle with someone she loves” but threw you aside?
It’s simple…
Run like the wind and don’t look back.
Crazy spreads.
Here is my take on it:
When I was dating I wouldnt even consider going out with a girl no matter how hot she was if she was on psych meds.
The baggage is just to much, and the rollercoaster ride of emotions I dont deal with.
My wife is still pissed off that I looked thru her meds, which were in open sight, to see if she was on psych meds. She knows I’d have been gone if she was on any.
I might have given a girl a break if her parents were murdered and she was on a short run of anti-depressents, but other than that I would look elseware!
[quote]Chewman wrote:
My wife is still pissed off that I looked thru her meds, which were in open sight, to see if she was on psych meds. She knows I’d have been gone if she was on any.[/quote]
Tell me this is PRIOR to your being married and that if suddenly your wife were diagnosed to need psychological medication you wouldn’t leave…
[quote]Chewman wrote:
Here is my take on it:
When I was dating I wouldnt even consider going out with a girl no matter how hot she was if she was on psych meds.
…
I might have given a girl a break if her parents were murdered and she was on a short run of anti-depressents, but other than that I would look elseware!
[/quote]
Just what do you consider “psych” meds?
Yeah Chew, I have to admit that after that whole episode (I was young and thought I could handle anything/everything) one of my rule from that point on was “Never date a girl with long term clinically diagnosed mental disorders”. Seems like a no brainer, but the crazy ones are usually the sickest in the sack too.
Aside from the cuddlebitch, she could be indirectly saying " right now is not good, but next week I will be ready to romp". Thats how I read that kind of stuff.
[quote]choyt wrote:
Chewman wrote:
My wife is still pissed off that I looked thru her meds, which were in open sight, to see if she was on psych meds. She knows I’d have been gone if she was on any.
Tell me this is PRIOR to your being married and that if suddenly your wife were diagnosed to need psychological medication you wouldn’t leave…
[/quote]
Yes this was PRIOR to getting married, and I wouldnt leave now if she needed help. When I said I do, I did, until death dose us part. THE for better or worse I meant.
When you are dating you have the population of the world at your door. If you are dating to find a mate you want to find someone who is going to augment you personally as well as genetically. Had I married a 5 foot tall woman with me at 6’6" my girls would have been tall and my boys short. It’s kind of luck I get.
It is known that many of the psychological illnesses are passed down or run in famillies. I would not want to increase the odds of my children getting a psychological illness passed to them. THE world is hard enough without added problems.
I was asked what I considered psych meds, that list would include all the anti-depressents, anxiolytics (sp), mood stabilizers, and anti-psychotics.
I am not knocking anyone who needs this kind of help. I am happy we have them and that people no longer have to suffer without treatment. You can think of me as an asshole if you wish. I wasnt going to date someone with baggage, ride the emotional roller coaster, or deal with the needy emotional blackhole of death. In my experience strong people attract this kind of person like a magnet and I’d already been down this road more than once with a very ugly ending. I wasnt going to do it again.
Wideguy! I agree. They are the wildest in the sack for some reason. Wild in the sack is great while you are in the sack. I didnt care for the rest of the ride.
Wideguy
If I were you I would grab some sack and do two very important things one is make your ex chick happy i mean if you were going into surgery and needed support someone would be there for you. Think of Jerry’s kids or the make a wish foundation. Another thing I would do is make my intentions of wanting to hang out with the hottie that sits next to you in class or at least get her digits for a “study” night this always works. But doit cause the more you prcrastinate and play the little hop scotch game of I wanna let you know I like you the more the chances of you looking like a puss to this chick increases remember chicks dig guys that will go out on a limb or a doers as opposed to procrastinaters. But either way good luck bro.
This is actually tougher than a lot of people on here are allowing. I understand that she’s going through some tough times right now and you think you owe her to be there. Here’s what I see happening going forward: she is going to get in the way of future relationships. Since you’re not really engaged in a relationship with this new girl, you should probably help your ex through her current issue, making it very clear that you consider her as a FRIEND and that is why you are with her at the current time. But I think you need to put some distance between the two of you if you want to avoid jealous GFs in the future. Even the coolest chick doesn’t want to have ex’s hanging around simply because of the potential (would you if the situation were reversed?). And if you don’t put up some walls, she IS going to consider you her go-to friend and you don’t want that. That’s my advice.
One more thing, where in NJ are you? Maybe we can get together and go see that new Hugh Grant flick???
Good luck, it ain’t going to be easy.
DB
[quote]Wideguy wrote:
Yeah Chew, I have to admit that after that whole episode (I was young and thought I could handle anything/everything) one of my rule from that point on was “Never date a girl with long term clinically diagnosed mental disorders”. Seems like a no brainer, but the crazy ones are usually the sickest in the sack too.[/quote]
That’s a pretty good rule to have; but if you ever have the chance to date a schizo, do it. Then you get to bang two different chicks without all the messy cheating drama.
Went all out today and used valentines day to my advantage (who say’s it’s a stupid holiday). I was talking/flirting with Ms. Cuteness all class long and then cut out 15 minutes early. Doubled back to my car to grab my pilates mat (which had a longstem rose rolled up inside it). Waited for her to come out of class and gave them to her while I was walking to her car/talking about the last 15 I missed. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if her life depended on it. Suprised to say the least. She had to go and I was late for another class (the one I’m in now). So we both just smiled at each other (she really hadn’t stopped smiling) and agreed we’ll see eachother in class. So we’ll see 
Well, this one looks like it might not have a happy ending 
For the love of God, why? Don’t drop something like that and run!
–T.
Wideguy, a time-tested romantic sentiment often works well in these situations:
“Bend over, bitch!”
It tugs at the strings of the heart.
What do you mean?
It just sounded to me like you’re getting a little too sappy. You need to regain your fire, your confidence, your cockiness. Just cause she’s incredibly hot, don’t let her melt you into pudding man. Be assertive, be strong. Don’t be a jerk, but you know how all this works.
Good play. Fuck the old girlfriend. Call it day, when things get serious with Ms. New Girl. Out with the old… In with the new.
Yeah it’s possible that I’ve misread this girl completely. I saw her in class later and we sit on opposite sides of the room and usually don’t talk much/at all, she sits with her best friend (a chick). I didn’t want to seem to overzealous and figured that the simple idea of giving a rose to a beautiful girl who’s company I enjoy wasn’t anything but a nice gesture. So I just figure I’d act like nothing was any different (it isn’t).What sucks is I bitched out at the end of class and didn’t wait/talk to her. Part of me kinda figured that if she hasn’t said anything to me then she’s not interested. The other part of me had to piss EXTREMELY BAD. So when class ended I went to the bathroom and by then she was gone.
Now I’m pretty much stuck without a real answer until wednesday. By no fault of my own. Ironic how much sway a woman can have over a man’s emotions. I’d like to think that I’m in control here but I’d be full of shit to say that.
As for all of you who say that you have to be in control, never let on that you’re interested at risk of looking clingy. If I was just trying to get laid and didn’t have feelings for a girl that works fine. However, that just doesn’t apply here.
That is the hardest thing of all. Trying not to act over-interested when you ARE over-interested. How can I act freakin natural when I’m trying so hard to act natural!
Here’s a tip that has worked for me in the past. Find a flaw with her that makes her not the queen of the world. It will make her just a human woman again, and you can deal with her from a more controlled position. Of course, this is a minor flaw, so you’re still interested, but it helps bring her down and takes the pressure away.
Example: I once asked this really hot chick at work to go out and have coffee with me. (Don’t worry, we worked on different floors; no risk of badness among co-workers happening.) She said she would love to. We do so, talk for an hour and a half, and have a great time. We are both contractors from the same agency at this company, and our agency is having a big banquet less than a week after. We confirm that we’ll see each other at the banquet.
Now, for some reason, THIS girl is really causing me stress. She’s beautiful and hot and intelligent and seems interested. I start getting really freakin nervous leading up to the banquet. I’m really stressing out because I’m starting to wonder if she’s going to find me not worthy and cast me away, I’m thinking she’s that great. This doesn’t usually happen, but this girl is up a notch in class. Trauma trauma…
So, the night of the banquet, I’m all decked out, looking seriously hot. Metrosexuals fear my style. I?m wearing PAISLEY for cryin out loud (and pulling it off brilliantly, mind you). I?m seriously the best-dressed guy at the whole gig. Still I’m nervous as hell. I got there first. Finally, she arrives. WITH ANOTHER GUY! I’m thinking OK, WTF? Is she just stupid, or is she trying to tell me something? So I approach her nonchalantly and ask if she has a seat yet. She says no, and I point out there are still two empty by me (being gracious as ever, of course).
It turns out that the guy is one of her roomies in the house they rent. Still, ALL THE FREAKIN PRESSURE IS GONE! She fucked up. She’s not perfect. In fact, she may be a little bit of a ditz. Sure, I still think she’s hot and want to get in her pants, but now she’s just another hot chick, nothing more, nothing less.
After that I was much more calm, confident, collected, and suave. Her mistake played perfectly into my hand.
So, if you can find something to reduce her to more human status, that might take enough pressure off for you to collect yourself. If that doesn’t work, just remind yourself that she’s just one of many beautiful women, and if she doesn’t work out, there are a helluva lot more where she came from.
Hope that helps.
I feel ya Mike. I’ve already been doing the whole flaw thing. In fact I tease the shit out of her sometimes, but she always smiles/laughs. Do to the fact that I’m an overanalytical dick I’m pretty good at finding flaws (in others as well as myself). It has its advatages and disadvantages.
The problem here is that I might have very well just been completely wrong. This would suck, but honestly I have better looking girls check me out just about everyday. The thing with her is she’s seems (don’t know) to be really amazing ie. not just hot but the kind of woman you want around for awhile. So if my radar is that off I’m really suprised/annoyed/disappointed/fucked up.