It's difficult to soar with Eagles when you work with turkeys. There is just so much truth in that one!
I'm tired of following my dreams, so I'm just gonna ask where they're going, and hook up with them later.
I'm happier than a shit house rat.
A wise man once said "don't touch your dick after cooking with jalapeno chili".
Your shitting in tall cotton now...
You don't know shit from shinola..
"I love women; I have all their albums." - Hank Moody, Californication
Hail to the King Babby
"There is no sex in the champaign room...NONE."
- Chris Rock
"All you skinny bitches can suck my dick!"
-Rosie O'Donnell on The View.
- Wilt Chamberlain
"Holy crap...they actually keep paying to see my movies! Thank you, Satan!"
-Matthew David McConaughey
"I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious." - Charles Shackleford
When life hands you lemons, squirt citrus in someones eye.
Life's a broken record and it's playing my song.
Get busy livin or get busy dyin'.
On one occasion in my life, the shit got real, real, real thick. I heard that quote, on Shawshank and contemplated it for a while. I made the right choice, but I gotta say, it was close.
When you come to a fork in the road, pick it up.
'If at first you don't succeed, try try again.', is not our motto here at Jump School.
"I don't FEEL tardy..."
- David Lee Roth, Van Halen
"I make love to pressure."
If I want any lip from you, I'll rattle my zipper!