T Nation

Fantastic New Wonder Drug


I particularly like what it’s recommended for, which including people suffering from circulation, metabolism and/or binocular vision.

Ha ha ha! LMFAO!! Where can I get some? I think I might suffer from two separate feet (2SF)!


Muscle: In a small number of tested cases (84%) PANEXAwas found to cause abdominal wall muscle breakdown coupled with spasmodic activity in lower back/spinal muscles, resulting in most patients violently bending forward like a book slamming shut. While some other drugs promote similar responses (gemifbrozil, fresh cherries, nicitonic acid, cyclosporine, mustard gas, and acetomenaphin) PANEXA’s reactions are over 48X as powerful and take place with a great deal more panache and flash. Also, PANEXA can contribute to developing inhumanly powerful tongue muscles, capable of licking through steel. Lymphatic System: If, after taking PANEXA for a period of four to six weeks, you still have any functioning lymph nodes remaining, double the dosage every two (3) weeks until they are all gone.

Oh Christ, that was funny.

Sitting at my desk trying not to howl out loud at the side effects.

My favorite line

PANEXA has been known in a few cases (0.0087%) to cause Excessively Floppy Tail Syndrome (EFTS). If you are a squirrel, and suspect you may be suffering from EFTS, immediately call the Hotline at 1-800-867-5309.


I have experienced these :

Eyes/senses: everything you think you see becomes a Tootsie Roll to you, night vision, taste hallucinations (where everything tastes ‘gamey’ or ‘oakey’), inability to distinguish the colors ‘taupe’ and ‘putty’; sudden enjoyment of really bad music, like Kenny G or some crap; thinking everything is so damn funny all the time

Muscular/Skeletal: PANEXAcan cause a real live skeleton to be walking around inside you, buttock muscles to mirror the actions of the jaw muscles, magnetization of the ribcage, and musical spine disorder (MSD) Skin: Might turn blue, wither, and fall off. Or just get really thick and spongy (muppet-like)

At a Greatfull Dead show, about a half hour after some hippie squirted me with a squirt gun.
Must have been a test run.

Apparently you havent gotten the memo yet about NO2 being the new wonder drug.

Favorite Part:
“Pediatric use: Expired PANEXA may be disposed of by feeding to children in a bowl with milk.”