T Nation

Failing a Generation of American Boys...

We have a anti-boy culture that is wrecking our nation’s young men. This has been on my mind for some time. I will try to add some thoughts when work is done.

[quote]JEATON wrote:
We have a anti-boy culture that is wrecking our nation’s young men. This has been on my mind for some time. I will try to add some thoughts when work is done.
http://spectator.org/archives/2013/03/13/failing-a-generation-of-americ[/quote]

Oddly, this comes off as a bunch of neutered, curmudgeonly, hand-wringing to me. Boys are too tough for an ‘anti-boy’ culture to wreck them and the ‘anti-boy’ behavior is self-limiting in any event. My wife and I have 2.5 boys (4 and 5 yrs. old) and the competition and fighting started shortly after walking was mastered. My friends and I were raised playing ‘VC Ambush’ (think cowboys and indians with M-16s) as kids, plenty of them turned out to be unmotivated plenty didn’t. My wife and I realize that we need to complement each other in our parenting. She’s second-to-none when it comes to subverting the boys. She also listens to me when I remind her or point out that she can’t manage them forever. The author’s right, the nation can’t survive with a generation of docile unmotivated boys. Half of that nation is women and a huge portion of them are married to men who have their kids on the putting green, at the free-throw line, or in the batting cage at the age of 4-5.

I agree - it’s gotten pretty fucking ridiculous. “Normal” boy behavior is now considered “bad”. I have two examples from my personal experience with both of my boys. I ended up homeschooling my oldest son and then sending him to private school for a while after that. He is in a public HS now, though. My youngest is now in a public elementary school. I live in Fairfax county in Virginia, supposedly one of the best school systems in the country. Well if these schools are “the best”, then we are in BIG fucking trouble.

I have a five year old son who is a “boy’s boy”. He likes trains, stepping in mud puddles, screaming at the top of his lungs, running until he drops, etc… I have had plenty of contact with his school now that he’s in kindergarten. At first they wanted to give him an IEP and put him in a special class! WTF!? I insisted he stay in the normal class and guess what? He’s doing just fine - imagine that. Fucking lazy liberal fuck-tard teachers who want everyone to just sit still in stupid circle… They’re KIDS.

Another example. My eldest son, when he was younger, saw another student being bullied in the boys bathroom at school. He didn’t say anything or touch anyone, but he calmly placed himself between the bullies and the bullied kid. When they left, he just went about his business and back to class. Well the bullied kid told his teacher, and to make a long story short, I was called into the fucking school because my son got in trouble FOR NOT SNITCHING!. At age 9, he chose a non-violent way of resolving a conflict, defended a weaker person, and humbly did not seek credit for it - EXACTLY how I taught him - and the reaction of the school was to get him into trouble! THAT’S what’s wrong with today’s system.

Kids have to learn to work some things out for themselves. Project that behavior/mindset to today’s work force and people (weak people) are suing their employers for hostile work environment and sexual harassment over MINOR shit. It’s gotten to the point where you can’t even tell a joke at work anymore, cuz you might “offend” someone and lose your job. Where in the Constitution does it say that we are guaranteed the right not to be offended? Fucking liberals…

I honestly believe that it can be all traced back to us allowing women to wear shoes… What the fuck were we thinking? LOL

This is just a natural side effect of women having more opportunities. When there is more competition it means people on the lower end will fail. If women fail they can just go back to being “womanly” and nobody will write a book about it.

[quote]sufiandy wrote:
This is just a natural side effect of women having more opportunities. When there is more competition it means people on the lower end will fail. If women fail they can just go back to being “womanly” and nobody will write a book about it.[/quote]

This. Jobs are harder to come by now and the losers are having a harder time of it. C’est la guerre. And make no mistake: if somebody is 20 years old, ambitionless, and addicted to video games, he’s a loser, not the victim of an anti-boy culture. He’s the threat to masculinity.

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[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

…I have a five year old son who is a “boy’s boy”. He likes trains, stepping in mud puddles, screaming at the top of his lungs, running until he drops, etc… I have had plenty of contact with his school now that he’s in kindergarten. At first they wanted to give him an IEP and put him in a special class! WTF!? I insisted he stay in the normal class and guess what? He’s doing just fine - imagine that. Fucking lazy liberal fuck-tard teachers who want everyone to just sit still in stupid circle… They’re KIDS…

[/quote]

This especially angers me. Infuriates.
[/quote]

head start tried to do that with me saying I was too hyper, and because I was bigger than most of the other kids they thought incorrectly I would be a bully. the school teachers wanted to dope me up in something and my mom said fuck you, luckily I had a strong parent I shudder to think about the kids who’s parents just go with the system and eventually become drugged up zombies

[quote]smh23 wrote:

[quote]sufiandy wrote:
This is just a natural side effect of women having more opportunities. When there is more competition it means people on the lower end will fail. If women fail they can just go back to being “womanly” and nobody will write a book about it.[/quote]

This. Jobs are harder to come by now and the losers are having a harder time of it. C’est la guerre. And make no mistake: if somebody is 20 years old, ambitionless, and addicted to video games, he’s a loser, not the victim of an anti-boy culture. He’s the threat to masculinity.[/quote]

Agreed. Most young males I know now are fucking pussies. No nice way to say it. At least in my area. It isn’t because we are anti-boy, but because we are anti-pain. Everyone gets a participation medal. Everyone wins. Do your best is the only thing that matters. Don’t lift, run sprints, dedicate yourself to something just do your “best” during competition and you’re a winner. Hell don’t do your best and you’re a winner.

In the small conservative area I’m from it’s the boys who need to catch up to the girls, not the other way around. I’ve got most women I’ve seen as way tougher than these boys. From athletics to the classroom to taking care of their body the “boys” don’t give a shit about anything but iPads and video games. They have no goals, hopes, or dreams.

I also don’t like how the author seems to blame women at least backhandedly for the laziness of the male youth. We still don’t have anything remotely equal in terms of CEO positions, political positions, or anything of the sort for women. Don’t blame women and bringing women upwards as the reason for why youth males are pussies. Blame parents and youth males and maybe even men like me who haven’t taken enough boys under our wing and showed them how to be men. But don’t fucking blame women alone.

And yet another attempt to blame the left for problems that don’t have anything to do with what somewhat voted. Why the fuck are young males pussies where I live? Small county of 25,000 people with probably 100 registered Democrats and we want to blame this on the left? Schools here HAVE to make decisions because parents don’t give a shit. Shocking how in one of the most conservative states in this nation we have all these issues. No one wants to blame the person in the mirror or parents, they want to blame a fucking party.

Why are you blaming videogames?

They have been around for many years and are anything but the domain of losers, as you so put it. Violent video games play towards the instincts even if it is watered down violence.

I think you’ll find its the likes of emasculation that has made boys worse. Single parents, too many women in the school system, softly softly approach etc.

Then you have Justin Bieber who many boys look at and copy. He gets the girls.

[quote]harrypotter wrote:
Why are you blaming videogames?

They have been around for many years and are anything but the domain of losers, as you so put it. Violent video games play towards the instincts even if it is watered down violence.

I think you’ll find its the likes of emasculation that has made boys worse. Single parents, too many women in the school system, softly softly approach etc.

Then you have Justin Bieber who many boys look at and copy. He gets the girls.[/quote]

I’m not blaming videogames, I play videogames still and played the shit out of them growing up as well. The difference is I didn’t JUST do that. I played sports, I studied, I hung out with friends, got into trouble, etc. I played Zelda, but didn’t let Zelda dictate my life.

As for too many women in the school system exactly what is the right amount of women? I didn’t have a male teacher until I was in 7th grade. The majority of elementary teachers have been women for a long time. You’re sounding like the author…saying “well this is what happens when you don’t keep women in their place” without saying it out loud.

Or at least that’s what it seems like. As if women dominate society or some shit.

[quote]harrypotter wrote:
Why are you blaming videogames?

They have been around for many years and are anything but the domain of losers, as you so put it. Violent video games play towards the instincts even if it is watered down violence.

I think you’ll find its the likes of emasculation that has made boys worse. Single parents, too many women in the school system, softly softly approach etc.

Then you have Justin Bieber who many boys look at and copy. He gets the girls.[/quote]

Instead of paraphrasing something I’ve already written, I’ll just re-post:

[quote]fncj wrote:
Much of what I’ve read of the ways video games damage men focuses on how they extend adolescence and prevent players from tackling real-world responsibilities. The time that could be spent deepening relationships, furthering one’s career and education, or simply engaging in a project of self improvement is instead diverted into a fantasy world where any type of momentum is applicable only within the game. So many video games represent insular pursuits that rarely enhance other aspects of a man’s life, and further teaches the mind to find satisfaction in imaginary accomplishments.[/quote]

Video games have been around for decades, but they have evolved to the point where games are now journeys which can last months, or game play is simply continuous. Games from fifteen and twenty years ago had a different impact because they could be played and finished in an afternoon. Beyond the hours a man has to dedicate to playing a lot of the games being currently released, other games have a way of increasing involvement with a social layer that adds a sense of responsibility towards a team.

The other points you brought up are excuses and ways to place blame. Not one of them represents an insurmountable obstacle that prevents men from being men. Misandry does exist, but I believe men and individuals are better served by looking at themselves to find a solution to problems.

While I am no non essentialist its like some of you guys go to the extreme to act like dominance games are solely within the realm of men and boys and its only this group the school system curtails. Girls are just as bad at bullying and conflicts perhaps taking it out of the physical realm more often but its still there. The young women my daughter goes to school with are sometimes vicious with each other. Much more so than the young men my son goes to school with.

And the stupid reaction to anti bullying isn’t just against boys and I think its more brought about by litigation more than anything else. I had to pick up my daughter early from school this week because as she puts it(practicing for her future career in politics) another girl jumped on a classmate with scoliosis and was holding her down and my daughter pushed her off with her foot…and it took a few pushes and these pushes were somehow wildly mischaracterized by the girl on the receiving end as kicks. Now a generation ago that would have been no big deal but now its well no violence is tolerated. Stupid yes but anti male eh not so sure.

It’s not the video games, it’s the parents letting their kids play for hours on end, and the now 18-30 crowd that doesn’t (wasn’t taught) to prioritze their life.

I play A LOT of video games, but I had parents that made sure I did other things and understood their place in my life. At 26 I play probably 5-10 or so hours a week on average. I also work 40+ hours a week, am married, exercise 5+ hours a week, am rasing a puppy, and am a grad student.

They are also the only way I can “hang out” with some of my old buddies from the Corps.

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
It’s not the video games, it’s the parents letting their kids play for hours on end, and the now 18-30 crowd that doesn’t (wasn’t taught) to prioritze their life.

I play A LOT of video games, but I had parents that made sure I did other things and understood their place in my life. At 26 I play probably 5-10 or so hours a week on average. I also work 40+ hours a week, am married, exercise 5+ hours a week, am rasing a puppy, and am a grad student.

They are also the only way I can “hang out” with some of my old buddies from the Corps. [/quote]

How kids turns out starts and ends with parents and always has and always will. Trying to blame women or a certain political side for the shitty state of many boys right now is shifting the blame from exactly who it belongs on.

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[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]H factor wrote:

How kids turns out starts and ends with parents and always has and always will. Trying to blame women…

[/quote]

Shouldn’t have to state the obvious but here we go…“women” ARE parents. Single women make up an increasingly large percentage of parents.

It’s OK to blame women.

(It’s OK to blame men too)
[/quote]

Shouldn’t have to state the obvious but here we go…“an article” that attempts to largely blame a sex or a political group for something that is a widespread problem and not an issue because of any small subset of people…it’s ok to call that out.

Please don’t waste time by being intentionally oblivious. My point was quite obvious. Women ARE to blame and are probably exactly half the problem. But focusing on that alone is really fucking dumb wouldn’t you agree?

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[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]H factor wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]H factor wrote:

How kids turns out starts and ends with parents and always has and always will. Trying to blame women…

[/quote]

Shouldn’t have to state the obvious but here we go…“women” ARE parents. Single women make up an increasingly large percentage of parents.

It’s OK to blame women.

(It’s OK to blame men too)
[/quote]

Shouldn’t have to state the obvious but here we go…“an article” that attempts to largely blame a sex or a political group for something that is a widespread problem and not an issue because of any small subset of people…it’s ok to call that out.

Please don’t waste time by being intentionally oblivious. My point was quite obvious. Women ARE to blame and are probably exactly half the problem. But focusing on that alone is really fucking dumb wouldn’t you agree? [/quote]

Neither women nor single parent women are “small subsets of people.”
[/quote]

Lol. Ok, feel like the author. Blame it on women, feminism, women’s rights. I said don’t blame it on that. You disagreed. Another 1940’s mentality where women belonged in the kitchen. We are FAR from a female dominated society and we want to blame this on women? Why not blame it on PARENTS like I said. Which includes men, women, grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever is raising the current kids. Not to mention the guys who last I checked are half responsible for pregnancy correct? Or is that single parent women thing the sole fault of women as well?

Or let’s just write fun blamey stuff like “it’s feminism, it’s the left, it’s THOSE people.” Just let me figure out the exact right subset of people to blame.

Hurry and pick one sentence out to attack and ignore the overall point please.

I heard a statistic the other day on a news radio station here in Houston. I did not verify it, but thought oh my Lord. This is from 20 years ago, and with the increase of unwed mothers increasing it is probably a higher percentage today. 80% of inmates come from single mother families.

I would not say the blame should fall on women, it should fall on the men that refuse to take their place in the home, and take responsibility for their children. Come on men. Marry the woman of your children, or better yet do not have children until you are married. No more this is my fiance perpetually. Get Married, and love your wife and children. Sacrifice yourself for your family so that they know what is right.

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