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Ex-Girlfriend revisited - help

Ok, guys and gals. Here’s the gig. My ex girlfriend who I am still in love with is dating someone else. She had expressed many times that she wants to be friends because she is dating someone else. I tried the friend route, but she isn’t putting in much of an effort. So I spoke to her for the last time about two weeks ago and told her how I felt about her. Yeah, it was stupid, but I needed to say it since I had avoided it for so long. Ok, she wasn’t interested and said that she was completely happy with the new guy etc… Also, she said some unfair things that I replied to in an email. She never responded. That was two weeks ago. So today I get an email from her asking about an article on apple cider tablets for losing weight and what is my oppinion. Of course I want to respond and help her with other weight loss suggestions because I love her, but I know that this isn’t the right thing to do. I should just ignore it. She has been pretty shitty to me over the past few months and responds when she feels like it. So I know what to do. Ignore the email. Her weight isn’t my problem any more, but I need some moral support. Love is a powerful drug and I need off this one. It hurts because I am usually very responsible of other people’s feelings and not responding seems rude, but friendship much less love is a two way street. She can’t just take from me when she feels like it. I am not on call like a doctor. Ok, let me have it. I am being a pussy and I need to get unpussified!!!

EDog

PS. The lifting is going great. I am bigger now than ever before on the Mag-10 and 4-AD-EC.

OK, now that you got that off your chest, IGNORE the email, don’t take her calls, etc.

I had a weird situation once with a girl that I was really mad over (and knew how to push my buttons). I had gotten over her, and was dating a new girl, and she just wouldn’t leave me alone, kept trying to get involved, etc. I didn’t just ignore her, however. I answered questions yes/no, or as tersely as possible. I didn’t initiate contact (that’s the biggie). When she finally confronted the issue, I just pointed out that “people grow apart.”

So go ahead, answer her question like you would answer a question on this forum. Leave it at that. If she emails you looking for specific information that you know off the top of your head, give it to her. If you don’t know it, don’t research it… just tell her you’re swamped and don’t have time to deal with it.

Hey edog, is this the same girl that got you depressed a while ago? hows it all going for you anyway? Hope you pulled out of it dude. Im going through the same shit now, so just wondering whether you came out alright after it all. I know you still love her and shit but you just gotta let go and you’ll eventually find someone you can love again. I think love is bullshit now anyway. A woman can love you one day, and the next be with some other son of a bitch that treats her like shit. Chicks are fucked man, just have casual with them, much much easier that way!

Yeah bro…I know…

Yeah, it is the same chick. I’m with you. Chicks seem to be able to tell a guy that they love them and then two days later find someone else to love forever. That’s why I figure most of the painful love songs are written by guys. When guys finaly do let go, they tend to take that more seriously. Who knows. Chicks are fucked. I agree. She wants it all. Me to be there when she needs something, but can’t be curtious because she is “too busy”. Fuck her.

Yeah, I recouped. Toughest 3 months of my life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am cock big and getting ripped! Fuck that fat bitch. I hope she gains more weight and can’t fit into her dress for the wedding she has. (The reason I assume she needs my help losing weight)

EDog

It’s all about the ego-hers. She likes to pop into your universe just enough to keep you on the hook. The second you quit panting around after her she’ll freak. The best thing you could do to regain control of the situation is to have NO contact at all. Just don’t respond. I guarantee it will drive her crazy. It will also allow you to get over it. I find that if I get dumped, I always have a period after when I am convinced I truly in love with him and will never get over it but I think for me it mostly has do with being a sore loser. Way more about winning than love.

I disagree about “cutting contact” cold turkey. I think that if you redefine the relationship to be on your own terms (as I described in my earlier post) you’ll a) gain back some self-esteem related to the girl b)inflict the most possible regret on her part. After all, if you just stop responding she’ll probably think “he wasn’t worth it, anyway.” If you stay civil but distant, she can’t blame you for anything, and is forced to realize it’s her own damned fault. But, I could be wrong.

I think you should sever all contact and ignore e-mails, phone calls, etc. If she is happy with another guy, leave her be and allow her to leave you alone. There are many girls who like to keep a hold on a guy that they dated. They like to flirt just enough to keep him interested, but not enough that they think it’s another “go” signal. It’s a horrible thing to do, but it’s true. Sometimes, I think guys do this too, but not being a guy, I’m not sure. Everyone likes to have a bit of an ego-trip. It’s very flattering to know that there are all kinds of people “in love” with you, when you aren’t reciprocating. It obviously hurts you very much to keep contact with her. I know losing her will hurt too, but eventually it will hurt less and one day you will wake up and it won’t hurt at all. But, if you keep her around it will be a constant reminder and right now, you don’t need that. Keep your head up–your perfect girl is out there and you need to get ready for her!

Edog, the best way to get over an old love is a new love, and the best advice I’ve ever read about meeting someone is this: Attempt to say ‘yes’ to every social opportunity. A lot of guys that say they “can’t meet women” are also saying no to a lot of friendly offers to go out and do things with friends. But this is how you meet people… you get out and meet your friends’ friends, or just run into someone, etc.

I have not decided to take the curt email response or the ignore. I wish this would just go away actually. She is a great girl. I will probably always be in love with her, but I am not taking shit.

EDog

Start ignoring her or start running around with some girls (even just hanging out) and she’ll probably want to come back. They want what they can’t have. She knows she can have both right now. My opinion, dump it, forget it, and look elsewhere.

Three days and still holding out…

EDog