This one from a woman I worked with for a time. When her son was around 7, he got in the habit of jumping out and trying to scare people. They tried to get him off this kick but someone would always laugh when he did and so it continued.
So one night, she takes him up to bed, gets him all set while he brushes he teeth and reads him a story or two. She turned off light, kissed him goodnight and went downstairs. The hubby was through watching TV so she decides to get the dishes all done up. Finishing this up, she goes through to join her fella and watch a little TV. But he isn’t there, and she assumes he has just gone up to bed.
So she is sitting there for a few minutes when this blood curdling scream comes from her son’s room. Being a good mom, she races upstairs to find her son just scared half to death and her husband laughing his ass off.
Turns out that before she had even taken her son up for bed, her hubby had gone up and hidden under the bed. Then waited. Waited while she tucked him in, read him a story, and kissed him goodnight. Then just as the son was falling asleep, he reached up from under the bed, and grabbed the son while making a monster noise.
I wear two rings. My wedding ring and another one to hold the wedding ring on. When I got sized for the wedding ring my fingers must have been plump because it’s normally pretty loose on my finger. Couple that with it being heavy and smooth and you have On Edge diving to the bottom of Lake Coeur d’ Alene to retrieve it.
Anyway, every once in a while a child will point out that I have two rings (grown ups never do but if a grownup ever does I’m going to straight faced tell them the same thing I tell the kids) and I like to explain to them that I’m Mormon and have two wives (sorry Puff). I will continue and explain that the nicer of the two rings is for my favorite wife who is much prettier and the other ring is for my wife I don’t care about as much. I’m really just doing her a favor being married to her so she has to do all the housework and the cooking while me and my other wife watch TV.
I can’t wait until the time comes when a kids parent is in ear-shot.
[quote]MrZsasz wrote:
This one from a woman I worked with for a time. When her son was around 7, he got in the habit of jumping out and trying to scare people. They tried to get him off this kick but someone would always laugh when he did and so it continued.
So one night, she takes him up to bed, gets him all set while he brushes he teeth and reads him a story or two. She turned off light, kissed him goodnight and went downstairs. The hubby was through watching TV so she decides to get the dishes all done up. Finishing this up, she goes through to join her fella and watch a little TV. But he isn’t there, and she assumes he has just gone up to bed.
So she is sitting there for a few minutes when this blood curdling scream comes from her son’s room. Being a good mom, she races upstairs to find her son just scared half to death and her husband laughing his ass off.
Turns out that before she had even taken her son up for bed, her hubby had gone up and hidden under the bed. Then waited. Waited while she tucked him in, read him a story, and kissed him goodnight. Then just as the son was falling asleep, he reached up from under the bed, and grabbed the son while making a monster noise.
And the son stopped scaring people after that…[/quote]
My college roommate did a similar but even better trick on his twin brother when they were kids. Instead of getting under the bed he squeezed down between the mattress and the wall with the blankets covering him. When his brother went to bed he waited a good long time, like your coworkers husband did, before emerging from the crack in the bed like a monster and coming down on top of the terrified twin brother.
[quote]aeyogi wrote:
When I was going on a trip with my mom, my dad told me that the engines on the plane were there to catch and grind up birds for the airplane food.
Later my dad got an angry call from my mom; I had started crying and refused to eat when they served the food.[/quote]
I have a very young niece about to make her first long plane trip…I can see this story in her future.
When my sister was an infant, some neighbor kids were over visiting her. My dad told them that she had just lost her baby tongue. The kids didn’t buy it, so dad went into the kitchen, formed some ground beef into the shape of a tongue and suspended it in a glass of water. When he brought it out, those kids scattered like it was radioactive.
When I was a kid, not sure how old exactly, I snuck into this small room my parents use to store canned food and bedding and miscellaneous stuff and I found an opened box of chocolates, some of which I ate. My dad caught me red-handed and told me that he’d laced the box with rat poison and had been about to put it in the shed. He just let me stew with that information for an hour or so haha.
Another time my grandad gave me a cod liver oil capsule and told me it was a jelly bean. That taste haunts me to this day haha.