Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race … you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework … you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard … there’s never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough … you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay … this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay … you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her … that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you … it’s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks … it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet … it’s male indifference.
If you cry … you’re a wimp. If you don’t … you’re an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her … you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy … that’s domination. If SHE asks you … it’s a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear … you’re a pervert. If you don’t … you’re gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape … you’re sexist… If you don’t … you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape … you’re vain. If you don’t … you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers … you’re after something. If you don’t … you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements … you’re full of yourself. If you don’t … you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache … she’s tired. If you have a headache … you don’t love her anymore.
If you want it too often… you’re oversexed… If you don’t … there must be someone else.
Why do men die first?
Because we want to.