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Hey Cyber, next time, sit up, look at him and tell him very politely that, when you get some heavy shit on the BB you’ll call for his help, and that when you need his help, you’ll explain how to do it.
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LOG # 313
6-7 mile walk wasn’t paying too close of attention.
Stuff seemed…idk. More vibrant when I got out and just walked around and breathed in everything.
Despite forecast being extra heavy since it’s been raining, it felt like the sun was shining. In a semi-metaphorical way.
I started questioning myself. Well more like beating up on myself. I’ve always wondered why I’ve been so…idk kind? It used to sicken me how kind I am. Since childhood. Only difference is live learned to be only kind. Not a pushover. I’ve just been kind. It feels involuntary almost. I can get downright angry, and I’ve had a few instances of that show, but even then, I apologized.
Wimp. That’s the word that comes to mind when I think about myself. Why can’t I just be angry for a bit? Why can’t I not apologize? Why do I feel like everything is m fault? Why do I feel like I have to try and fix everything? Is that bad? Why can’t I be like some people who don’t give shit about people’s feelings? Why do I have to feel everything to THIS magnitude? Why can’t I be like my mom and brother who have no problems pissing someone off? Can’t I just care about only my family, husband, And one friend? Why am I so kind hearted? Whyyyyyy.
And then it was like someone slapped me, and I just kind of muttered to myself, “because you’re you…stupid”.
And then I came home extremely bouncy and yippy.
Idk if it’s weird to talk to yourself, AND answer yourself, but I’m glad I take the time to just sit in whatever feelings I’m feeling for however long, and mix and match what goes where to feel better. Thank goodness for my therapist I used to see a while back. I never fully understood what it meant to respect the emotions you have as a human. But after meeting her she has helped me find a way to think and calm down In a cool way.
Long story short… walking and meditation? Idk. I wouldn’t call whatever the heck I was doing meditation.
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I don’t think it’s very wimpy behavior to be kind-hearted.
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True. But you know how society can be all stupid and whatnot, and quite a few of masses see it as weakness. I kind of convinced myself for a while it was.
Yeah I hear ya. It’s such a big load of bullshit, being a jerk is friggin’ easy.
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It’s good to be kind, otherwise everybody would be ah*.
And walking and talking to yourself, well don’t we all from time to time 
It’s good to talk to somebody who understands you.
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If it makes you feel any better, I frequently have to check to make sure I’m not talking to myself out loud.
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Sometimes when I’m talking to myself in my head, somehow I’d say half my sentence out loud and not realise until a room full of people are staring at me lol
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I often have a full conversation with myself at work and often colleagues will tell me after and we laugh !! I’m not mmmmmmmad honest !
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LOG # 314
Was supposed to be DE squats, however something just wasn’t feeling right.
Did a quick work up, did 3x3 w/ 315, and followed with 3 extra singles.
Assistance was cut short. Bounced back and forth between hypers and leg extensions, for AMRAP.
Unilateral work for both legs, and mobility for hips as usual.
There’s two things I’m starting to notice:
-
Preworkout isn’t necessary for me, and this workout wasn’t feeling good because of it. I was extremely nauseated, and profusely sweating, along with light headed ness after every set. And it burned me out extremely quick. I’ve been using caffeine as a means to wake up before lifting in the mornings, but I have no problem just cutting out the caffeine and waiting until my body wakes up instead of forcing it.
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I’ve got to start eating more. I’m stalling in a way that suggests Its time to add more food. Simple enough. However, it’s different from the past simply because I’ve gained more strength. It’s something I keep looking over, or trying to restrict for fear of weight gain, but the weight that I usually gain sorts itself out over a period of time. I just lose patience most of the time because it happens slower than I would like. I’ve boosted calories up since my last update back into the high 2700s. However it’s proving to be just a bit under what’s going to allow me to progress again. 2900-3000 was too much a while ago, however I don’t think that’s the case now due to progression.
So the plan is to just add some sort of snack or an extra 200 calories on training days. I’ll keep an eye on the mirror and see where it goes for a few weeks.
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that’s about an extra shake on trainingdays 
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Or another thing of rice and whatever meats in the freezer. I try to even out how many shakes I eat with actual solid food, because shakes only give so much of whatever nutrients. At least the ones I get. I just buy whatever is affordable. There’s quite a bit of magnesium and potassium, but it’s lacking in like Vitamin D, B Vitamins, Iron and whatnot.
Yeah rice and meat is an even better solution. It was more for the extra protein and convenience, but if you’re already having a couple or 3 shakes adding another is probably a bad idea.
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I do half and half. Or 2/2 for the moment.
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Update:
So I sat and scribbled for a bit last night concerning my training and I think it’s much needed to also kind of lean back into 5/3/1 (bit of BBB as well).
I’m also gonna rearrange the frequency for whichever lift. I don’t mind pairing squatting and benching in the same session, however I’m gonna give myself as much of a break between the two as I need so it’ll make the sessions longer obviously.
That’ll give me a chance to train squat and bench 3x a week, and keep my deadlift once a week.
I’ve chipped off a bit of the poundages, and upped the volume. A bit hyped to run this again.
Physique wise, I’m liking what I see.
I’m slimming down more and more, well…in right the places.
Weight has settled to 194lbs. It tends to creep up a few pounds during the day, but it’s been in the low 190s for about 2-3 weeks now. Yay!
The two measurements that have been going up are my legs. They’re a few centimeters from 31inches. Awwwwwwesome.
Lost a bit more fat from my upper and lower back as well. I can actually see quite a few of the muscles in my upper back. Not so much my lower back yet.
Upper chest and under arms haven’t been doing much, shoulders and traps, look nice. My neck has slimmed down quite a bit too.
Backs of my legs and thighs are looking nicer. Not too many cellulite deposits as before.
Small aches in my lower back here and there but nothing too bad. My knees are feeling cranky so I’ll probably throw my sleeves back on for squatting.
Probably need to do more heat therapy, and ask hubby to a bit of massaging for my back and in that area between my shoulder blades because it’s very tight back there.
Other than that, that’s about it.
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How do you set up the week for 3 times squat/bench?
Awesome training and diet/nutrition pays off. It must be very rewarding to see it.
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They’re in the same session. Like it’ll be squat and bench day. I’ll just give myself a bit of time to cool down, maybe just walk in between.
LOG # 315
Squat
Warm up: box jumps 12inch box for a few mins.
150x5
185x5
225x5
240x5
275x5
310x6+2 singles
Secondary:
Squat
150x10
150x10
150x10
150x10
Leg curls:
85lbs 5x10
Hanging leg raises:
5x10
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That would be something like M,W,F and where do you put you DL sessions?