Yea I’ve been trying to fix that. The spacing to unrack is weird. There isn’t really a sweet spot for me since I’m short. But i guess ill have to adjust the pins to be lower. But is that good depth? I think an inch lower will seal the deal.
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LOG # 53
Took my husband to the gym with me because he said he wanted to go and I figured a little heavy iron wouldn’t hurt. He’s doing so much better but he’s still fucking complaining. I didn’t really enjoy this session simply because he kept bitching and making a fuss and I told him he could wait in the movie room or lounge around or do some light cardio but he insisted on trying to keep up the pace with me. I ran him down on form and movement but he refused to cooperate with me.
Then he started getting frustrated with me and saying I wasn’t telling him what to do, when I was actively touching him, spotting him, and wedging my hands between him to get his form right, AND doing the EXACT same movements as he was right beside him. I wasn’t yelling or forcing him, and I was as patient as possible. I didn’t snap back or anything but I was slowly getting irritated with him.
He’s 6’2", narrow shoulders, long legs and arms, and a long torso. He’s got a wide grip bench, wide sumo stance deadlift, and standard squat stance. He can go wider on the squat stance though, but his descent is sloppy. His ankle mobility is very decent though. He’s lost quite a bit of muscle over the years but he doesn’t listen to me about nutrition so everything was kept at 100lbs or so. 135 for squat and deadlift. He’s very wobbly on the bench and couldn’t get out 2 reps for 135 so I had to lighten it up to 90lbs. He doesn’t understand cues or form just yet. But he semi caught on because I’m not patient enough to baby him to the extreme let alone anyone else.
His squat is okay, but he can’t really target certain muscles to activate them. Just the bar and he tried to do ATG squats (not bad), but as soon as 135lbs got on his back I told him to focus on parallel. He’s got to work on mind muscle connection though. Because he’s putting all the pressure on his back and rounding it. Deadlift however was a fucking train wreck. He refused to let me guide him no matter how hard I kicked his feet into place, pushed his chest up a little, and tried to get him in neutral. And he kept doing that godforsaken thing where he tries to get into lockout position by jerking his shoulders up and almost trying to do some sort of barbell curl, instead of locking those arms out and tensing right at the sides. He’s got the most rounded cat back I think I’ve ever seen, and his knees keep caving in. Conventional is a no go for him, and sumo is his only hope and he’s STILL struggling with that. I literally had to keep kicking his feet out so his form was okay. He STILL refused to get his chest out to keep his spine neutral. Bench press was okay, but his right side is insanely weak. And he ignored my cues to break the bar, or drive through the butt and feet, etc. kept his back reasonably straight but wouldn’t arch just a little nor did he put his scalps in his pockets. But I took what I could get. He struggles to touch his chest but I spotted him very well.
He kept complaining about how he feels like he’s doing everything wrong and I told him he’s a beginner so there’s going to be kinks. I told him before we even stepped FOOT into the gym that I’m going to be all over his form as best as I can just to keep him safe and whatnot. And I told him that I’m literally standing right the fuck next to him and behind and literally spewing out ques, tips, pointers, etc. And he wanted to get a trainer but I told him if you’re steady bitching and complaining to me what makes you think the trainer is going to be anymore sympathetic?
He wouldn’t catch his breathe and didn’t rest long enough and kept trying to rip out set after set like I can and I told him that’s a recipe for injury right. Fucking. There. He’s over there turning beet red, dry mouth, and everything and won’t go get water or sit the fuck down, or sip some of the creatine whey isolate mix I made for him prior to us heading out. I’m blazing through everything and he’s staring me down like I did something wrong and I just about told him to go sit down in the damn corner somewhere if he’s going to get like that.
I kept the rep scheme at 3x5-4x5 for him, and 5x5 with a burnout set at the end of each 3 lifts for me just so I could at least get a decent workout in while trying to teach him.
On a side note for me I did full body, and focused on 5x5 with something shy of 20 reps lightened up, as a burnout set for the last set of each exercise. I turned this slightly into a body building day just because I knew I was going to have to repeat reps for him to see what good form looks like.
Squat: 135lbs 5x5, 255lbs 5x5, 155lbs burnout set( exhaustion for me is about 20-25 reps, but I pushed out 22)
Deadlift: 135 5x5, 225 5x5, 185lbs burnout set of 19
Bench: 135, 5x5 155, 4x5, 120lbs burnout set of 15
I don’t normally use burnout sets for each lift but tommorow is going to be busy for me, so I figured I’d have some fun and make today a higher rep day, combined with some speed so that I could focus on kelby too.
My warmup was just some light stretching and 5 mins of on and off sprints. Kelby did the same.
Going back to Kelby…
Bench: 90lbs 3x5, failed at the last two reps so I helped him up a bit, even though I pretty much fucking had to grasp that damn thing I drive it up for him.
Squat: 135lbs 4x5, form got beyond shitty on last rep, so I told him to take it easy before we jumped into deads.
Deadlift: he gave me 5 reps initially with 90lbs just to get him warmed up and fix his form. He gave me 3x5. Decent, kept rounding that damn upper back though and trying to curl it out on the lockout. He tried to do 135lbs because he saw me doing that, and Lord Jesus that ROUNDED fucking back. Good Lord. I just…I was getting frustrated and he wouldn’t use the damn belt either because I told him I don’t use a belt just to keep my posterior chain strong enough. But he NEEDS THE FUCKING BELT. I kept kicking feet out, moving legs out, pulling shoulders slightly back, I kept trying to get his back neutral and kept poking his core to get him to tighten up, I did 5 extra reps so he could watch me and watch the movement. Ugh. Knees kept caving in. Then at one point in time he had his arms resting on his knees, and it looked like a T-rex trying to deadlift. My poor husband.
We didn’t get to any accessory work because he started bitching about his sore throat. However he’s laying right beside me and giggling and laughing and watching YouTube videos and vaping like a fucking chimney. He knows I’m flustered with him so he’s talking in a low soft tone, and won’t make eye contact with me, and I’m annoyed because he’s was acting like someone literally shot him in the chest with a sawed off shotgun and flashing those blue puppy dog eyes at me at the gym, but now that we’re home he’s laughing and acting like he doesn’t even have acute tonsillitis anymore. And had I known this was going to happen I would’ve left his behind at home. If he didn’t want to go I wasn’t going to force him like I NEVER FUCKING DO, but he knows how seriously I take training and nutrition. And he asked if he could go and have me teach him. So what the flying fuck was he expecting? I was super calm, patient as possible, gentle, and encouraging and all he did was lash out, and complain.
Next time if this happens, he’s going to get verbally chewed out beyond belief. But he isn’t used to anything else other than moving 50lb boxes at his warehouse and driving a forklift so I might have broke him a little bit mentally. But better me than someone else who doesn’t care about him, because he already has lost nearly 60lbs and 25 of that was muscle. His immune system is weaker than a chain link fence, he eats fast food like no ones business, and eats maybe one meal a day and sometimes a tiny breakfast. He’s tall and big looking but his body fat percentage is floating in the 30% range. So I don’t know what else to tell him. I stock our house with healthy food and kilos worth of water, gatorade, tea, and protein shakes. So it’s whatever.
I understand he’s not feeling well, and he’s new to this, and before hand his buddy he used to workout with had them doing nothing but high reps with light weights. Then I introduce him to compound movements and he just about died.
Sometimes he’s beyond pessimistic and I have no idea where he gets that shit from. But most times I can sit him down and talk some sense into him. So on a positive note he thanked me for teaching him, and apologized for being somewhat of a pussy today, but next time he’s going to be put through the same tough work and I’m going to crack down like hell on him about that damn form.
I advise you strongly (we’re talking Coan and Kazmeier strong) to not train or train with your husband. Very, very few couples can train together successfully except:
- couples who just ‘work out’; and
- couples who are equally experienced and training for the same thing
You don’t fit either category.
Save yourself the headache and don’t try it. Your posts are normally very, very calm. This last one I could almost hear your fists clenching. You’re dedicated, precise and serious (not particularly experienced but you learn fast). He’s not only inexperienced but obviously lazy and far less invested. Combine the two and little good comes out of it.
In fact, him working with a trainer would probably be much better because the trainer won’t be emotionally invested plus they will be used to dealing with whining (it’s their job).
Just my two cents, of course.
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No no, you hit the nail on the head. I was just trying my headrest to get him to realize how beneficial things like training are. It’s not only fun, but it’s interesting, and something new can learned literally every single day.
And the laziness is something he’s struggled with since a child. I too used to be lazy but as soon as I moved out and started college, everything I was taught by mother immediately came to the forefront.
But you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. So I tried, but I’m going to take the latter option.
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I had some issues with Sofi that I consider my fault in hindsight. I wanted her to take it seriously because I did. There was a time we didnt train together because I would have a heavy workout and needed to focus. Now she understands and knows when play time is and isn’t.
In the end we settled on her just staying active because that was my main objective to begin with.
Now she actually takes it more seriously and gets annoyed with me for messing with her sometimes hahahaha.
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This.
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All of this. He make take coaching better from a stranger than his wife. It isn’t easy to take training advice (of any kind) from someone who is close to you. It takes a special person to not get pissy or defensive. Reading the post, it sounded very frustrating for both of you.
My husband and I train together. We have for 8 years but we met in powerlifting and we both compete. We are at similar levels and age (50+). I design all our training templates. We learn a lot from each other but even so, sometimes when he points out a form issue I still feel like a pissy kid. I wouldn’t want to do it with a spouse/boyfriend who was more advanced than I was. To me it would feel patronizing regardless of whether it was or not.
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He flocks towards cardio. And tons of it. So I’m guessing I’m probably going to have to accept that he’s going to be a cardio bunny.
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I’m not sure if that’s what he truely felt on the patronizing point. He probably did but didn’t want to say it I guess. We met at card game tournament(giant nerds), so I think that explains why anything on paper or conceptual stuff written down were very intrigued by it, and we love playing strategy games and competing in nerdy stuff. But when it turns into hands on things he kind of sinks in that area. So I agree with you on that .
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Ok whoa, I have my limits. Only half kidding 
Direct quote “No wife of mine is going to waste her time on gerbal wheels”
Wifey would have been a cardio bunny too because it was easy and she thought it helped.
Explain to him that if he enjoys cardio then he should do it, but it is the least effective way to change your body or mind. Then let him make his own decision.
I think once he sees you smashing those weights or transforming physically/mentally he will want to start.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA! Man…that made my day lol.
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But believe it or not, the one thing my husband first noticed was my performance in bed. Gonna get a little NC-17, but before hand I would tire out right at the 10 min mark, but I don’t even so much as break a sweat for however long I wish to go. And he’s just like, “dude c’mon that’s not fair you’re like super conditioned and stuff”
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And I actually got his attention when I told him about cardio. See, he not stupid or a dumbass about things involving training and fitness, as much as he can come off as that. He confuses me about things because this morning he asked if he could come along again. And @MarkKO, I’m going to keep on what you said about training alone and probably push him towards a trainer. But he’s more than welcome to watch and do other things while we are at the gym. Not only that but he threw words like AMRAP and EMOM at me and I’m just like, “the fuck do you know these words dude?” So I don’t know just yet. I think he knows of the vocabulary associated with training but has no idea how to do them. Info paralysis I guess.
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He is studying!!! He has the bug!!! Soon you guys will have deadlift dates…a dream date really.
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I guess also. It’s the start of keyboard warrior syndrome. The cure is getting out there and lifting stuff. He’ll get there. He’s lucky he’s got you to help.
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LOG # 54
I trained yesterday night but have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I have had four exams and a quiz all in this past week. Two of my exams are just numbers and equations (physics and calculus) and the other two have called for me needing to use my memory bank, and definitions (Anatomy, and psychology subcategories). My quiz was over some bullshit Texas Government crap, that I got a B minus on. I haven’t really slept much and I can tell. My body has been doing these weird things, (fast twitches above the neck, blurry vision, waking up violently in between naps, gas, frequent hunger, etc.) after today everything should go back to normal and the timing of my classes should catch an odd date for certain exams again. I hate when all the exams match up in the same week.
Training was nice though.
Squats and bench for reps.
Squat:
135 ATG 10 reps
185: 5x5 alternated between wide stance and semi- narrow stance
185: widow maker (these are gruesome)
225: 5x5
135: 10 reps
Bench:
135: 5x5
155: 3x5
Secondary work
Hammer strength dips: 135 3x5, 225 3x5
Pull-ups: 3 reps
Prone leg curls: 5x5 @ 60lbs
Glute kickback?: 100lbs 10 reps each leg
Adbuctors: 140lbs 5x5
Leg press: 225lbs 3x10
I had someone come up to me during training and ask if I was advanced or had been doing this for a while and they asked me on some training tips. All I could really tell them was that I’m not advanced at all, but I’m not a beginner per say. I didn’t know what to classify myself as so a lot of my responses were “I’m not sure”. As far as training goes I view correct, intense training as I would view being able to draw/paint, sing, run fast, be badass as video games, being able to play a musical instrument very well, etc. A book can give you all the info you want on it, but to do it correctly and be the best at training it’s just something you have to find within yourself, because it can only be taught to you so much. In response I just told them to start out with a moderately heavy 5x5, and increase weight by 25-40lbs jumps without sacrificing form, and implement good secondary work with free weights. And to eat well and eat a shit ton. They told me their goal was building strength and muscle so I figured that went well. Kept it short and sweet because I was at a loss for words.
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LOG # 54
Xbox training. Lots of HIIT intervals for 15 mins. Then, Leisurely walking through the back woods of my apartment before I went off to work. Took me an hour to remember where I came from.
On a side note I FUCKING hate my stupid stupid piece of shit job. I’m only 21, and have had 16 jobs in the past. I HATE minimum wage jobs, I hate corporate American jobs, I don’t really like people in general, customer service sucks, and the food industry is a disgrace. I’m thankful I decided to push through with college, however I’m starting to lean back towards the medical field and wanting to finish with either Hematology or Neurosurgery. I don’t give a hoot how long it takes, so long as I don’t really have to answer to any fucking body. Most surgeons in America only answer the Board of Directers/Administrators. And most of the time it’s just new procedures and renewing licenses.
But the shitty part is that for the next 8-10 years most of any job I have I’m going to have to listen to pure BULLSHIT.
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Take it out on the weights…and congress.
In the future very few people will NEED jobs due to the level of automation and increasing efficiency of the work force but I just know the elite are going to use that as a way to screw us peasants.
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LOG # 55
I had been a bit busy this past week so I managed to save my logs on my phone. My husband decided to accompany me to the gym again. But this time was different. He mainly just wanted to watch and spot me. He asked me a shit ton of questions but I’m glad he did, and I’m glad he seemed interested this time. He said he felt very self conscious the first time he went with me because all of the men there looked very “jacked”, “huge”, and/or “shredded”, and I told him that it took those people probably more than 2 years to get to that way, and its taken me a year and four (five?), months to get to where I am. I also told him that different goals lead to different results. Powerlifters don’t necessarily look all super shredded and cut like bodybuilders do, although they can sometimes. I also said that every single last person at the gym we go to would be put to shame if they actually what “cut”, and “shredded”, looked like on the professional level. After reassuring him, he just watched me, and asked what I was doing, why was I do that, what does that do, how many of these do I do, whats that machine for, etc. He and I decided that he should focus on Calisthenics first before diving into the realm of heavy weight training, which I think would be perfect for him, that way he can really see and understand what good form is all about.
Full body day, speed and explosiveness
I have completely lost track of the rotations I’m supposed to be doing, and I lose track very often, so after maybe two weeks I just reset everything.
Bench: 6x6 135lbs, 3x5 155lbs.
Secondary work:
Machine compound rows: 110lbs 3x8
DB bent over rows: 35s 5x5 each arm
Squat: 135, ATG 5x10, 200lbs wide stance 5x5, 135lbs, very narrow stance 5x5 (been playing around with my foot stance a lot just to get well rounded in all areas)
Secondary work
Leg press: 135lbs 5x5, 225 lbs, 3x10. (my entire pelvic area was extremely tense even after warming up a bit, so I just spent a good 15 mins on the leg press smoothing out the kinks)
Deads:
135lbs: 5x8
185lbs: 3x5
Secondary:
pull-ups: underhand grip 3 reps. (I’m extremely dominant on this hand placement)
lat pulldowns: 125lbs 5x5
I had decided to take a three day rest period. I wouldn’t call this a deload at all because well…it just isn’t one, its a rest period. I needed it simply because that previous week with all the studying and tests, and practically living at my campus really drained me in a way, that impacts my training if I don’t do anything about it.
That coach guy called me back, and things are looking good. I also changed my mind, so whenever we get a plan down, I will visiting the Houston area gym to possibly start training there 2 times a week or so.
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LOG # 56
I envy you guys that live in places where there are actually seasons. Here in Texas in the Gulf, its either hot and humid, or humid and hot. Yesterday, had a high of 85, and today was a high of 89. What the actual fuck. Its February. And its beyond humid. The air is do thick and dense here, and I sweat ALL THE TIME.
However I took advantage of this, and wore my “suggestive” shorts and T-shirts to the open field out back, and did 5 sets of hill sprints, and decided to jump into the neighborhood pool, and took my dogs with me. Just did leisurely free style swimming for 30 mins or so then headed back.