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Enter Planet Cybertron

Well thank you!!!

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LOG # 519

PM cardio

Fucking HATE cardio, but I realize the reason these last 15-20 pounds aren’t going anywhere is because of the 7 years I’ve been training, cardio just…isn’t in there. Cant standing running, but I do it, however these fast little Youtube videos get the job done for when I don’t wanna run inside or outside.

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I would highly recommend fitness blender. They have thousands of fun free workouts

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Took a small deload because:

  1. haven’t been eating enough
  2. I’ve been very irritated and upset
  3. Something weird kept going on with my sciatic nerve. Managed to get it resolved with persistent re-hab stuff
  4. Managed to get a UTI from holding my pee at work for hours on end.
  5. I have not been sleeping at all
  6. Because I damn well want to.

LOG #520

Kicked off this week with a shit ton of volume. Slowly creeping strength stuff back in accordingly.

Tweaked a little bit of my high volume stuff to give room for strength/explosive work without being completed gassed.

Essentially everything gets kicked back to 50 reps. Still PPL, but emphasis is being placed on upper body and I will introducing more vertical pulling (ergo…pull-ups.). Considering I’m very bottom heavy most of it will be assisted.

ONE deadlift variation as needed. My back really can’t handle much. Which I respect.

Pushing gets some strength blended in, but with low reps

Legs get usual high volume, cranked back, just a smidge, 70%ish working sets, with an emphasis on explosive movements. (Jumps, sprints, and foot work. Most likely jump rope)

Simple. Can move stuff around if needed.

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Continuation of #520

PPL

Push:
•Bench 135 5x5 (explode off the chest, control at the top)
•Single arm kettlebell snatch. Control the top portion. 35ers x 10 each arm 3 sets.
• strict press 100lbs x10, 2 sets

Pull:
•RDLs, DB, 50s, 5x10. Slow and painful.
•Heavy Rack Pulls, 315
(I will not be grouping these two together anymore for reason mentioned above. Bit of a fuck up on my behalf.)

Legs
•Paused squats 225 1x10, 185 5x10
Just by sheer weight the 225 was paused because the shit was heavy. Lol.
•speed work: sprints. 6mph 1 min on, 1 min off. 10 mins. Good lord kill me NOW.


Re-hab:
•Banded side walks
•usually decompression stuff
•laying face down because it feels good
•bunch of ab work.

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New jams.

LOG # 521

Same as log 520

LOG # 522

10 mile bike ride

LOG # 523

PPL

Push:
•Bench 135 5x5 (explode off the chest, control at the top)
•Single arm kettlebell snatch. Control the top portion. 35ers x 10 each arm 3 sets.
• strict press 100lbs x10, 2 sets

Pull:
•Heavy rows
5x10 using 185

Legs
•Paused squats 225 1x10, 185 5x10

LOG # 524

100 Reps. Make it Hurt

DB movements

•RDLs
• push ups
• single arm strict press
• rows
• V-ups
• squats
• glute bridges

Free app called Smart WOD generator. You just tick what stuff you’ve got lying around and it’ll make a conditioning workout for you :muscle:

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Also, I do hope you and your partner are healing and doing I am

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Very much appreciated :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face:

It’s not going all that well if I’m being honest. Between the husband and I. I’m always willing to sit and communicate to the best of my ability. As of late though, he hasn’t really even been wanting to be in the same room as I am. Let alone talk to me.

All I can do is just be there if and when he comes around. I’m not sure what all is going through his head, but right now I’m just doing my best to make sure I myself am okay mentally and emotionally as well. Considering that’s as much as I can do anyways.

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That’s tough but you’ve got the right attitude. I usually close up for a bit before I open up and am able to properly communicate with my wife, so you’re not alone in having a husband who doesn’t communicate

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LOG #525

Lots O’ Swimming

Kind of forgotten how much I enjoy swimming. My husband introduced me to mountain biking and I absolutely love it. Most times I go alone though because I’m much slower than he is. I can get through a trail, but it takes me like 3 hours.

Swimming is like my secret passion though. A lot of stuff goes on in my head so it usually becomes an afterthought. But I’ve been just getting up, throwing my swimsuit on and jumping in the pool.

Sometimes I just end up messing around and having fun, most times I just swim various laps for time or duration.

Managed to find a little community pool that was indoors. Hard to find anything open currently since Houston just froze over. Even though most of the ice has melted, the power grid has been all types of fucked up along with the water systems for the entire Houston area.

Nonetheless I just swam most of yesterday. Pool was actually quite warm. They had a generator going so I’m assuming the thermostat was on to keep the water from freezing.

There was no rhyme or reason to whatever I did. I was swimming for well over 4 hours. Doing laps, playing hide and seek with some diving toys I bought online. Seeing how long I can hold my breathe. Just…whatever I wanted. Got home and slept for a while. Gyms aren’t open so I’ve just been doing whatever with DB and my jump rope.

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LOG # 526

Thanks to @kleinhound for the Generator App. I quite enjoy it.

Followed by a 10 mile bike ride. Kept a pace of 5-6 mph.

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Update:

I had to call my therapist earlier today. I haven’t been sleeping well. If at all for about two days now. I keep having these extremely vivid dreams. They aren’t really even dreams just memories.

Before the long battle I had with an eating disorder, I distinctly remember being a kid and being…odd. Not the good kind of odd either. I remember my mom put me in a place because of it for some time. She was talking to me some time ago about these alarming behaviors I had as a small child. I didn’t speak much to anyone for some time, after having been very social for a while. She also explained that I kept “doing things” to the small pets I would get. She tried to soften what she meant, but I didn’t really need reminding. I remembered. I still do actually.

It’s been a handful of years since my mom sat me down and told me that. Now I’m dreaming about it. I remember in great detail almost everything. I remember the incident that finally made my mom put me somewhere for a bit.

I don’t know why I’m dreaming about this. But it’s disturbed me so much that I can’t sleep. I don’t know what switch happened in between that portion of my life, over to the long and difficult struggle that I went through that many of you are familiar with who read my log. While I feel extremely uncomfortable and confused, I’m kind of happy my mom has always done what she thought was best for her child. If she didn’t…I don’t think I’d be anything remotely close to a someone who’s remotely safe to be around, let alone a sane person at this age.

I’ve always had a pretty big heart, I’m quite patient, understanding, like the experience of connection in various ways, and gentle in many aspects, and will sometimes experience way too intense bouts of being empathetic to the point where I have to remind myself that I need to make sure I’m okay emotionally and mentally as well, but it’s freaking me out because now that I think about it…I distinctly remember when I was younger where I felt devoid of…anything.

I’m okay dealing with this (well I am now, after panicking for a bit), It’s yet another part of the adversity of life. But the dreaming is so vivid. It’s not off the walls and random either like it usually is. It’s legit just me playing memories in my sleep. Very detailed memories. Sounds, smells, colors, textures, etc.

I haven’t really withdrawn socially either. Usually I do if I’m undergoing a high degree of stress. But that isn’t happening. I find myself being talkative to friends, and usual co-workers I see, my mom and I joke around most times…like…it’s so odd. Everything is okay up until I go to sleep. I don’t understand.

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I haven’t had a deep sleep for at least a year, can relate to a lot in your post. Seems like everyone’s normal behaviour has changed a little, I’m always the same but what I usually keep all inside is coming out and I can’t help it. If nobody gives me an outlet… I just create one.

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