T Nation

EnGlisH OnLy


Found this on Myspace. Thought it applied to all internet forums...its damn funny. I only wrote the intro.

"I know that is been along fucking time since we all took English class, but I have had it with the fucking geniuses who write-

"lAAsT NiitE WuZZ aWWsoM wE GOt FckEd uP - FuCk u HaTaZ!!! lol!!! "

Write friggin English.

Lose - the opposite of win, to misplace something, ONE FUCKING O
Loose - the opposite of tight, your mother/wife/sister, TWO FUCKING O's
Looser is an adjective (These pants are looser than those pants), Loser is a noun (You are a fucking loser)

Your - a possessive, similar to mine, his, her as in "Your loose slut of a sister..." NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
You're - a contraction of "you are", as in "You're a dipshit." A FUCKING APOSTROPHE

Its - another possessive, similar to your, NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
It's - a contraction of "it is", as in "It's fucking simple." A FUCKING APOSTROPHE

Need a trick? Fine - when using 'it's' or 'you're', expand the contraction. If "You're head is full of shit" becomes "You are head is full of shit" and doesn't make any sense (maybe it will to you because you're a fucking idiot), then you are using the wrong word.

To - a preposition, as in "Turn to the right" or "It's time to go back to school." ONE FUCKING O
Too - an adverb (know what that is?), synonymous with "also", "as well" as in "Really? I went to college too. I actually read a FUCKING BOOK." It can also be used to mean "to a regrettable degree" as in "It's too late for you, moron." TWO FUCKING O's
Two - a number, it comes after one

There - an adverb, similar to here as in "Your short bus is over there."
Their - yet another possessive, similar to your as in "It's not their fault that you're a fucking retard. It's YOUR fault."
They're - a contraction of "they are" as in "They're not responsible for your complete ignorance of YOUR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. READ A BOOK!!"

By the way, grammar is spelled with TWO FUCKING A's. So next time you want to flame someone for bad "grammer", at least spell it right.



What a bunch of douche bags,



I agree to a certain point; native english speakers have no excuse for their misspellings and grammatical errors. However, there are a large number of people (read: rest of the world) that English is a second, third, or fourth language. I'm pretty sure if I went onto a Spanish or German speaking website, I'd be lucky to get away with a few errors in diction and spelling.

Oops. Misspelled misspelling!


I just have to say that the funniest part of this BY FAR is that the guy messed up in his own intro:

along - numerous meanings, among those "beside" or "also"

a - used as a function word before a singular noun

long - extending for a considerable distance.

So it hasn't been along time since we went to english class, it's been A LONG time.


jeeeeez-S you guys are square.


Yea I forgot that space bar, glad you had a laugh about that. I'll run my posts by you next time so you can run spell check on them.

Hey, do you hear a scraping sound? Oh, sorry, that's the stick that's up your ass dragging on the ground.

It was meant to be funny. Dick.




Actually the spell check would not have caught that because along is actually spelled correctly. It is just poor grammer.


I think that "its" needs to be changed to "it's" in this case. Sorry, couldn't resist.


I don't f#cking believe you wrote "grammer".
Now that is pretty funny.


I think he wrote "grammer" as a joke.

This topic has been discussed before, but people still don't get it. Communication is so important. If you don't make your point correctly then your voice is lost. I want to make sure that I'm heard correctly and that when I communicate I convey my thoughts with pinpoint accuracy.

The funny thing is, is that it probably took more time to write down that original sentence than to it would have to write it properly.

Words and language do evolve. Some slang does become part of formal speech. As long as everyone knows what everyone else is talking about then there is no problem.

Besides, women seems to like a guy who can express themselves. If that's not a an incentive then I don't know what is.


A famous writer (it escapes me who) said that all a writer had to do to get laid was to tell the woman that he was a writer. If that didn't work, nothing would.


a few thoughts on the subject:

-lots of people choose to communicate creatively and are very effective. i'll use mark twain for example. but all you really need to do to find another is pick up any book.

  • what's the point of throwing the baby out with the bathwater ?how other people choose to represent themselves is none of your business. likewise what other people think of YOU, is not your business either.

  • comprehension is waaaay more valuable to communication than optimum writing, grammar, or diction.

-discounting somebody's effort to communicate because they didn't dress it up to your standards is kinda the root of bigotry ...don'tcha think ?


Probably - yes

probly, prob'ly, prolly - NO!


I agree. If people want to be represent themselves as dumbasses then I don't care. I just don't see why anyone would want to portray a less intelligent version of themselves.

Exactly. But, how can you comprehend something that you can't understand or decipher? Grammar, syntax, diction etc are all conventions that are used for communication. The onus is on the person speaking (or writing) to make it easier for the recipient to understand.

If i want someone to listen to me, then it's is my job to communicate in a way that they can easily understand. Why should they put masses of effort into trying to extract meaning from garbled nonsense? They won't and they'll switch off - your point won't be heard. Communication should be a pleasureable experience.

Not really. It's not about dressing it up. Speaking correctly is not about being pretentious. If you want to be taken seriously then you've got to communicate seriously.


No it is called ignorance. Anyone who grew up in America should be able to speak the English language. The ability to communicate if the foundation of intelligence, and lacking that ability will hold people back. By supporting this you may be holding people back.

Poor language skills may mean lack of ability to gain knowledge and understanding.

Damn, I didn't want a serious post.



You forgot to close your quotation.

This happens all of the time. Someone starts a thread criticizing other peoples use of langwidge.

For goodness sake, If yer gonna be a hatta on anutha mans flow, puleez dont make no mistakes or use no malapropisms. Thats like falling off of a horse and landing in the bathwater. I just figure If you cant beat 'em, Ya gotta get back on.

Just screwing with you F.I. I think when people get pissed off enough about this subbject to start a thread, they are bound to make a few heat of the moment type mistakes.


well that's kinda my point. that's their business and it really doesn't matter. it's foolish to discount and prejudge someone because of how they present themselves. once you close your mind you miss out on what they have to offer. or , once you close your mind you can be taken. take our pres. for example. all through his run up to the top his enemies largely discounted him as a dumbass, 'cause that's how he presents himself. but it was foolish of them not to take him seriously; he's clearly not nearly as dumb as all the people he's walking over. therefore he has a nice advantage dealing w/ anyone who thinks he is.

it's largely personal, but i don't expect or believe anybody owes me anything; if i'm going to learn something today i'm going to have to find it. and to get through the day and get anything done i prefer to be able to read between the lines. in fact i'd rather rely on that than taking whatever is being said, no matter how grammatically perfect, at face value.

of course for the most part we agree, and are on the same page. just trying to work out my communication sKilZ !


This topic comes up a lot here but I really don't think the "Spelling Shouldn't Be That Important" side get it.

If you've ever talked to someone from another country who was just learning English, you might be able to understand what it's like to have to read sloppy English with crappy punctuation. No, it isn't always necessary. No, it shouldn't count against you and no, it doesn't have to be perfect.

However, it is draining; it is physically and mentally a challenge to put up with. I live in a foreign country and God knows I inflict my atrocious accent, lack of basic grammar and dreadful spelling on the kind Spanish folk on a regular basis, and they forgive me a lot.

I also meet a lot of Spanish people who want to practice their English and I show them the same patience as I receive. But ask anybody here who's in the same situation and they'll all tell you that there are some days that it fucking drives you nuts, the amount of effort that needs to be put into listening and having a conversation. There are days when I'd rather poke a sharp stick in my eye than answer yes to the cute cashier who asks "You're not Spanish, are you?" Really, you have to experience how bloody aggravating it is.

It's an absolution of responsibility to put the onus of understanding on the listener; it's your pie-hole that's flapping, so the work is yours to do. I'll forgive and make allowances for a variety of people: hot girls, foreigners, the mentally challenged and amiable drunks at the end of the bar. Sometimes they can be the same person. However I will not show the same patience for ordinary, everyday, supposedly-educated, no-fucking-excuse-except-laziness chumps who can't be arsed to press a shift key or use a full stop.

So take it into account, if you're typing anything on the forums here in the first place, it's because you want it to be read. You want to be heard, you want to contribute, you want to be a T-Nation member and be part of the group. Don't be lazy, don't goof off, don't assume that details don't count. Because they do.

Incidentally, a lot of non-native English speakers post on these forums and it is patently obvious that they're not stupid or lazy, just not at the native level of speaking. Not only do they spend time going to the trouble of formulating their questions and answers in another language different to their own, they also apologise in advance for any problems caused. And they still manage to appear more literate and intelligent than the bulk of so-called native speakers that post here.

Whoa. That turned into a rant, didn't it?


I totally agree. I re-learn the lesson "never judge a book by its cover" everyday. But it's naive to think that we live in a world where first impressions and presentation don't count. (i'm not saying you're naive, i'm just playing devil's advocate.) It is in our nature to judge people but appearances and pigeon-hole people - it's a survival mechanism. In the past when survival wasn't as easy as it is today, we needed to categorise things/people into friend or foe. Doing this today is not necessary, but we still do it, though we can override it after some conscious thought.

So, if we know that we are going to be judged on appearance and presentation' surely it would be best to put ourselves across well, so that our viewpoints are taken seriously. If this wasn't the case, then why do politicians, celebrities and others with lots to gain/lose spend so much on image consultants and communication specialists. Because they've quickly realised that if they want to get ahead, then they've got to look and act the part, aswell as having the brains to back it up. Yes, it's ashame that appearance and not actually raw ideas that count, but that's life. I'm not going to let my voice be lost because i didn't put myself across well.

I refuse to believe that a Head of State would deliberately portray himself as a "dumbass." That's all i'm going to say, because i don't want to get into a George W discussion.

When i think about communication, i think of it in terms of people listening to my point of view, rather than me learning something.So here's my point - getting people to listen to you and take on your view point is dificult enough, why make it harder for them by speaking incomprehensibly. In this cut-throat world, people need only the slimmest of excuses to discount you, why make it easier for them to dislike or discredit you by annoying them with garbled speech and generally being a "dumbass."

Bottom line is that no matter how intellgient you are, people still have to decide to talk to you before they can hear what you've got to say. Whether they talk to you will, in part, involve their impression of you. It's their loss if they decide not to converse because of appearances and presentations, but isn't it your loss too, that you've missed out on an opportunity to speak?