T Nation

Engineering New Muscle

Arm Day because everyone needs a good bro gym session occasionally

V-handle tricep press downs
2 warm up
4x77-15, 15, 15, 15 drop to 66-7 drop to 55-6

Tricep extension machine neutral grip
3x100-8, 8,

Dips w/Tricep focus
4xBW - 11, 12, 10, 10

Ez bar Preacher curls
3x50- 20, 15, 15

Tricep rope Hammer Curls
3x49.5 - 12, 12, 11

Classic 21s
EZ Bar 45
3x45

(Also why has no one turned the “Classics” part of this clip into a gif)

Avalanche week 4 day 1

Low cable rows neutral grip
2xWU
1x143-11
1x165 - 9
1x165 - 9

Incline Dumbbell Rows probated grip
3x60s - 10, 9, 10

Chest Pulls
3x88- 12, 12, 11

Nautilus pullovers
3x160 - 12, 12, 12
(2 more reps per set than last time)

EZ Bar Curls
1x80 - 12
3x90 - 8, 8,

Skipped back extensions. Land mines taken so cable rows instead of Meadow’s rows.

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Vulnerability time because if I don’t put this somewhere I might crack.

How does one know when a relationship is over? I am pretty sure (like 95%) my marriage is on its way out. My wife and I met 10 years ago and seemed extremely compatible but now it feels like we are both two different people. We might be as we were 22 and 24 when we met and were still developing. Neither of us has ever cheated on the other one. I think we were both hanging on by threads.

However I am horrible judge of emotional crap (thanks autism; great math brain, horrible at thing concerning other humans). I don’t really know what to think. I don’t believe things will get ugly. I have too much respect for her and my too much love for my kids for that to happen.

Pretty sure I should talk to a counselor to help me work through this. Just curious if anyone has had similar things happens and if so do you feel better now.

Right now I doubt this post even makes sense as my head still feels like a tilt-o-whirl.

Oh man!! That sucks!
Not liscensed but lived with parents who should have divorced years ago

  1. Pettiness: The smallest things trigger huge arguments. Something like not turning off the lights once or twice , forgetting a receipt in a trip to the store (if it’s a chronic thing, that’s a different issue)
  2. Holding grudges: Arguments circle back to the same things years ago regardless of what triggered the argument. For example, mum might be yelling at little bro for not finishing homework, but after a couple of minutes, she’ll inevitably bring up the house
  3. Constant ad homenin attacks: “you’re lazy” “bitch”, “sea turtle egg” (that’s a thing in China), if it gets to the point of insulting in laws for the perceived flaws of the partner, then it’s really bad
  4. Disrespect and sabatoge
  5. Blaming EVERYTHING on the partner: kids not doing well in school? It’s the partners fault for not helping; weathers bad? It’s the partners fault for making the family live in a place with bad weather

Good idea. I’d try to make sure that both parties are open minded. My parents tried but it didn’t work bc neither were open minded and tried to use the therapists words as weapons

None of that list really applies to my situation (maybe number 5 a little bit), so maybe that’s a good thing. We will see.

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If both of you are conflict averse, another big one is lack of communication and or decrease in affection(ie used to hug or kiss a lot, but now cold towards each other)

While it would be difficult, I suggest being honest. Telling her what you’re feeling and expressing a strong desire to fix it.
Depending on how she feels it might go a few different ways. But if you both have some desire to fix it I bet counseling would help.

Kids deserve better from their parents, but +1 there are couples who stay together that shouldn’t, too, and that can potentially be even worse for the kids.

Though just “not feeling the spark” probably isn’t enough to put a relationship in that category.

I’m sorry to hear this. I wish you both the best.

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Asking the internet for opinions… take them all with a grain of salt mate.

fwiw, focus on what’s best for the kids, along with jdm’s advice above.

Sincerely hope it’s just a bump in the road though, we’re here to listen!

We have been talking about it and are realizing we both haven’t been holding up our ends of the bargain very well. Still some hope there. I really needed a place to vent for a minute.

I never take anything on the internet to seriously.

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That’s awesome

This is a very good sign IMO

That’s what we’re here for

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I have found the cyclone log!

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@cyclonengineer I don’t really want to get too political but one of my christian friends is very left leaning. I kinda used to have some bizarre hatred for Lgbtq people. Just through having a discussion with him it really changed my mindset. They’re not harming anyone so they should have the right to live their life. I do not understand it but they should be treated right.

What is the actual goal of a christian because honestly sometimes I feel like the typical nature of a christian is to be judgmental. Are christians supposed to walk the talk or are they supposed to be some kind of liberator to keep people from going to hell.

The hatred for LGBTQ folks is baked in from a very early age in some denominations. Before you know it, you harbor resentment for a whole group of people you have likely never spent any real time with.
Also, in the original text of the Bible, there is no mention of homosexuality being a sin. It’s either a misinterpretation or an addition to a translation (just like one dude changed Satan (“the morning star that fell from heaven” ) to Lucifer because Lucifer was the name of his political opponent - and the name stuck).

I perceive the goal of Christianity to be to get to heaven and thereby forgo eternal damnation. I do think Christian should spread the message of the Gospel but through their actions not words.
There are a lot of issues I have with the modern church. Things like week long “missions trips” is one of them. It’s been noted now that these trips where people go for a week to “help” kids just end up making the kids feel more abandoned and patronized in the end. The only person who gets anything out of the trip is the one who spent money to go that particular corner of the earth so can come back feeling slightly more pious than other church goers.

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Something that is important to remember is that Christians are not Christ. When an individual Christian or groups of them, or a church or whatever, acts in a “wrong” or “bad” way, that is not Christ. That is flawed human beings acting a certain way using the name of Christ to excuse themselves.

I think @cyclonengineer gets this, I just wanted to re-point it out.

A similar thought crosses my mind when I see bumper stickers that say, “If God hates f*gs then he must hate me!” (Anyone else ever see those? I have only a couple of times, maybe it’s a regional thing?) If homosexuality is a sin, then God does not hate homosexuals, he would hate homosexuality. I recognize that this is a very touchy topic so I am only using it as an example, not actually implying anything by it.

It’s not the people, good or bad, that matter. It’s Jesus. Follow His example as best you can and you should be good.

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Well said.

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You don’t have to agree with or be okay or support people’s decisions if you don’t feel that they line up with your beliefs and values, but it is up to God to judge, not us. This is probably one of the biggest complaints that people have about the church though, for sure.

Yes. Remember, don’t be lukewarm?

@cyclonengineer - I went to a couple church camps or weekend events in high school. I didn’t really like what ended up happening. People were surrounded by Christian, church leaders, had multiple sermons and worship services a day, and were just riding that Jesus high all week long. Then they got back to the real world and it fell apart. It was very easy to be a perfect little Christian when everyone and everything surrounding you agreed with you and a little bit harder when you got back out into the secular world. I kinda felt like the events would set people up for failure, especially when the people are young, impressionable teenagers. I saw a similar thing happen at my Christian high school. A lot of the kids fell away from the faith after leaving the school and small community and realizing that not everyone else felt the same as them.

I suppose it’s good to have Christian people and influences in your life. Iron sharpens iron or however it goes. But I think it can end up being detrimental if you have no exposure to “real life.” It can be hard to defend your faith when you’ve never had to, due to no need to.

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This is just the “hate the sin, not the sinner” argument which I think falls flat upon further thought.

True, but everyone deserves respect.

Your other points about constantly be surrounded by a confirmation Bbias bubble are spot on. One cannot truly know what one believes unless one’s current beliefs are challenged.

Personally, I hate the “holier than thou” attitude a lot of the baptist denominations around me in Florida take. Believing in God & Jesus doesn’t make you better than someone who doesn’t. I already left one church because they poorly handled a middle school student coming and advocated for her to go to “conversion therapy” (aka child abuse)

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Would you mind explaining? Curious to hear your thoughts.

I wasn’t trying to say they didn’t. My bad if that’s how it came across. I just meant that, say, with the question of homosexuality: you don’t have to agree with it but it’s not our job to judge and tell homosexuals where they are messing up. (If you think it’s wrong. Just another easy example.)

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The folks who tend to say that then go on to try and change the person and draw the person away from what they believe is the sin constantly. It’s a way of putting someone down subtly. And it flies in the face of Biblical teaching. The only being who can truly turn someone away from sin is the Holy Spirit residing in the believer.

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I have to agree with that just based off of anecdotes. I’ve seen a lot of that, mostly in media.