Engine Overhaul

Sending good vibes & a big hug CL :sun_with_face::sunflower: :hugs:

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Been there done that…So I know EXACTLY what your going through … and it sucks when your brain locks onto the issue and the simplest thing even remotely associated with that anxiety issue will trigger it into a mental eruption. I assume you suffer from panic attacks… which sucks ass.

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Thank you @bulldog9899 @boombalatti
It will work out on the end. Yes, panic attack is a nice way of putting what happened the last time. Totally freaked out, lost my shit and my a huge ass of myself. Trying real hard not to let it happen again.

And yes, I should have just smoked the shit :wink:

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Back in college I suffered from extreme allegrophobia. Caused me to become an insomniac and litterally sit outside wherever I had to be several hours early.

Finally something happened and I realized being late wasn’t that big of a deal. I was taking an ethics and philosophy class at the time and was reading about Seneca. Something he said stuck. ‘Is this the condition that I fear’. Anyways, once I finally lived the nightmare (of being late), I stopped worrying so much.

Not sure if that’s helpful at all, but I get the extreme anxiety that can be debilitating.

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Thank you. Monday was the 5th time I endured the nightmare and didn’t lose my shit, but I did when I got home. So at least I have that going for me.

So now I get why you go by ChickenLittle.

Actually the handle ChickenLittle was given to me back in 1989.

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I’ve been suffering from anxiety for a while and one thing that has been transformative is breathwork. I know it’s all voodoo and shit, but it is working wonders for me.

Keep plugging!

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Thank you! I will check into it.

Hang in there…

what makes you think that it’ll all work out in the end.
afraid to feel bad. better off to try and pretend. I’m
immortal, immune to all that is wrong. just keep on wishing.
crossing my fingers. so long. is this helping? i’m growning
weaker each day. can’t stop whining.
still afraid of what i might say or reactions, that control us one and all.
It’s mine, it’s pure and as decent as i can make myself.
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive.
Why don’t you think about that?
so now i’m bleeding on myself yes once again.
seems i trusted another deceitful freind. my fault. should’ve known the deal.
keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, for real.
seems easy, but nothing could be so hard. trying to guess lifes
dealing. what’s the next card? I’m surely folding.
i don’t like this hand at all.
It’s mine, it’s pure and as decent as i can make myself.
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive.
Keep those eyes wide open, here comes a blind side.
maybe things happen for a reason and wherein lies the answer.
to overcome the grieving of lifes unruly lessons. i’m handed
in sucession. it builds my pain which makes me strong.
It’s mine, it’s pure and as decent as i can make myself.
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive.
Why don’t you think about that?

Thanks Bulldog. I typed it all out on here this morning and cancelled it before I could post it. It was just too much. I will get over this. It may take a while, but I will. I may just have to call everything off and be by myself for a while. This shit has been dragging on since April. I am tired. Mentally and physically.

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Keep fighting the good fight CL, you are worth it! :sunflower:

+1 on @The_Myth suggestion of breathing exercises. I’ve been working on breathing to help with my own issues. I use the “tactical breathing” exercises described here & they help in the gym & out.

Thank you. I will definitely give it a go.

7/18/17
Yesterday’s lifting was shit. But the day turned out good. :grin:

Warmup
Ass rehab
BPAs
Dislocates

BP (WG)
1x5/55
1x5/65
1x5/70
1x5/75
4x5/70
1x4/70

BB Rows
3x7/70

Squat
1x5/75
1x5/85
1x5/95
1x5//105
1x5/115
1x3/125
No pain! Yay!
We will what happens when I pull Thursday.

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7/19/17
Ass Rehab
BPAs
Dislocates

DB BP
4x10
Batwings
Asst other shit.

Think I am going to go back to the hard gainer template With some extras until I get this other shit behind me.

I need to calculate my maxes so I know where I stand and just start over. No place I haven’t been before. :smirk:

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7/21/17
Ass rehab
Standing band thrusts/RDL
5x10/105

DL
1x5/105
1x5/125
1x1/145
Grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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8/14/17
BW115
Wu= BPAs and dislocates

BP
1x10/bar
1x5/55
1x5/65
5x5/70

DB Row
5x10/35ish

Zerchers
5x5/85

The last few weeks have been a shit storm, more on that later.

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8/15/17
Wu= walking
BW squats

Squats
1x5/75
1x5/85
1x5/95
1x5/105
1x5/115
1x1/125 just couldn’t keep shit tight
2x5/105

That is all.

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Glad you’re back posting.