T Nation

Emotional on EQ, Other Things I've Noticed

I’ve noticed during this cycle that I’ve been more emotional than on any of the previous 7 cycles I’ve done. This is the highest amount of gear I’ve run at a time and it’s also the first time I’ve used EQ. I think it may have more to do with the high amounts of anabolics rather than the EQ alone.
I’m running a tri-test blend @slightly over 900mg/wk and EQ @ 500mg/wk, and just got done running Anavar at 50mg/day. So about 1750mg/wk worth of gear along with 500iu/hcg a week.

Now rather than just explain what I’ve been experiencing, it should be noted that there are other factors contributing to the situation that clearly have a profound effect on my emotions. The first of which is the fact that I kicked my fiance’ out. I was able to keep my calm while doing it, but I probably did overreact. I can’t say definitively whether or not I overreacted as the final outcome ended up being for the best. I was absolutely devastated by what I had done and pretty much became a pathetic groveling douche.

Literally had problems breathing. Couldn’t eat for about 4 days and even had problems just drinking protein shakes and water. Was LOSING weight and only went to the gym once and had the shittiest workout ever. Had my final talk with her about a week later and my false hope was put to rest. I felt relieved and felt I could finally move on. It was probably the shittiest week of my life, but I still didn’t feel like “me”.

The night of the final conversation I ended up meeting a new girl. A hotter, younger, smarter girl with a better body and makes more money. I didn’t set out to do that, but I pretty much won the lottery. I’ve spent every subsequent day and night with her. I understand I’m still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase of it all and I’m sure it seems like it would raise flags to some people, but this girl is amazing and is helping me become a better person.

I won’t bore you with all that shit, but basically there have been a couple instances of such intense emotions like happiness/love that it nearly brings me to the verge of tears and I catch myself and I’m just like “what the fuck is going on here?” It makes me think back to when I lived in California about 3 1/2 years ago and I was out one night with a friend.

I walked into the bathroom and this jacked bald dude had clearly been crying. I think we were both caught off guard, but I asked him if he was on anything and he admitted that he was. I can’t remember what he was running but I always remembered thinking, “Jesus Christ, I hope that never happens to me…”

I’ve caught myself being short with people at work as well. I handle some things surprisingly well and others very differently. It’s a different experience this time around and I felt like logging it. I’ll be on the EQ for another 5 weeks and the tri-blend for only 2-3 more. After that I’m switching to a Tren/Prop/Mast blend for 6 weeks and I’ll be adding Winstrol in for 5 of those weeks as well as T3 and albuterol. I’ve started taking the albuterol as of about 5 days ago and I actually dig it so far. It’s nothing at all like clen. I don’t get shakey or the mental fogginess.

Will update more as I have time…

Just a thought: at 900mg of testosterone and 500mg of boldenone every week, and no AI, you are probably producing a huge amount of estradiol, which could contribute to the mood disorders.

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Just a thought: at 900mg of testosterone and 500mg of boldenone every week, and no AI, you are probably producing a huge amount of estradiol, which could contribute to the mood disorders.[/quote]

I’m taking an AI. Adjusted accordingly.

EQ gives me anxiety, bacne and moodiness all to a worse degree than Tren. That being said everything you’ve mentioned is consistent with your position, regardless of AAS dosing.

You have alot going on in your life, and I wish you all the best. Perhaps just drop down to a TRT dosage until your life calms down a bit? Just a thought.

Cheers,
-PTD

[quote]PAINTRAINDave wrote:
EQ gives me anxiety, bacne and moodiness all to a worse degree than Tren. That being said everything you’ve mentioned is consistent with your position, regardless of AAS dosing.

You have alot going on in your life, and I wish you all the best. Perhaps just drop down to a TRT dosage until your life calms down a bit? Just a thought.

Cheers,
-PTD [/quote]

Yeah, I’ve never had issues with Tren either. Everything has calmed down for the most part so I’m not too concerned. Life is MUCH better now than it was. This new girl keeps me in check, doesn’t let me get away with being an asshole, and is always in a good mood. Basically the exact opposite of my ex. So I’m stoked on life again.

I really need to force myself to start eating more though. All the food I eat is clean, I just don’t eat enough. I am going through body recomp, but I should still be GAINING weight especially with this much gear. I’ve lost 4% bodyfat and about 4lbs in the last 3 1/2 weeks, while all my lifts are going up. So yes I’m gaining muscle, but still need to eat more.

Quick update. Took more Melanotan-II yesterday. Same amount- about 400mcg and didn’t feel nearly as shitty as I did the first time around. Just kinda made me tired and had a slight headache, but no nausea. Already looking darker.
Strength felt great in the gym tonight. I felt more control over my muscles/better contractions/better isolation. In the last 4 weeks I’ve already dropped about 5% bodyfat. Really trying to maintain weight at this point because I don’t want to come in too small. I’ve got about another 8% to drop over the next 8 weeks, which I know I can do, but the hardest part is going to be retaining muscle/size.

Still trying to put a lot of food away. I noticed over the last two days that when I ate more it made a difference so I really just need to keep telling myself to eat. Thank God I’m on EQ for another 5 weeks. I don’t recall a lot of appetite supression on Tren, but man…I gotta eat.

I may stop taking the Melanotan-ii. I’ve noticed no less than 8 new moles on my face after only taking it three times. Yeah it works amazingly well, but that side effect is not something I want to be dealing with.

Today will be my last day of Albuterol for three weeks. I love albuterol. It is far and away better than clenbuterol. I think it works better and doesn’t have any of the seriously shitty sides I got on clen. I really firmly believe that nobody should take clen when Albuterol is just as easily available.

This body recomp has been going ridiculously well and only sure to get better. Even I’m surprised with my own progress. In a week and a half I’ll be switching from Test450+EQ to:

Test Prop/Tren Ace/Mast prop blend (Running around 1400mg/wk) + EQ for another two weeks, + Winstrol @ 50mg/day, + T3 (No higher than 75mcg this time around). Should be fun.