I post this here, because it has to do with the male feelings, but it also has to do with a cycle. I did a 10 week Test E 500mg cycle (with Adex as AI and Nolva as PCT SERM).
During my pct I encountered issues in my relationship. Under normal circumstances i'm very rational and I can't even remember when I last cried (not to act all mister big guy, but i'm just not into emotions, i'm the emotionaly awkward penguin).
But now, even after PCT (2 weeks now) I'm still very emotional. This in combination with the problems with my wife makes me feel depressed.
The thing is, I can't figure out if I feel depressed due to the issues or that I feel depressed due to HTPA not beeing fully recovered. The chicken or the egg, you know.
I could go get myself a blood work done, but my last blood work (6 months ago) showed E2 in the higher ends and free test in the lower. Never really had a mind blowing libido anyways.
I once had a very long relationship and the girl dumped me, scattering my naieve dream of ever lasting love. Now, years later, i feel i have a fear for commitment. I want to fight for my relationship, because I still love her, but a strong voice in my head keeps telling me that it will eventually end, no matter what I do.
This puts me in my typical self destructive mode. I know I'll miss her and that I'll never find some1 as good as her, but I'm already saying goodbye, because if it isn't now, it'll be in a few years.
When I read this, I know it sounds crazy, but it's a very strong feeling.
During my cycle, my libido was high and so were my feelings. It was an eye opener for me, because all my life I had periods of depression. TRT is not very well known by doctors where I live, unfortunately (I'm 32 now).
I don't know why I post this on a forum, but it's easier to do.