Read my post at the end of the estradiol sticky for info about 5-alpha reductase.
You need to post lab results and ranges.
Read the protocol for injections sticky and understand what T+AI+hCG is and what the benefits are. Do not post your case into the stickies. Always come back to this one and do not start new stickies. Then we have one thread with your info and posts for context to best understand and reply to on going info and questions.
Google [subject wiki] and then explore the links into Wikipedia. Follow the links in the articles and you will find other good things to read.
Your testes are small because TRT causes HPTA shutdown and the testes cannot maintain themselves without the gonadotrophins LH and FF and SH.
You need DHT to maintain your sex organs and libido. DHT is mission critical. If you had high TT and FT levels with very low DHT, you would not have a sex life. DHT is not evil.
You are taking a lot of T. Your E2, estradiol is probably way to high and you are estrogen dominant aka estradiol poisoning.
If E2 is elevated, you need to persuade your doc to manage it with Arimidex, chemical name anastrozole. If that fails, we have a finding a TRT doc sticky too.
Read the stickies, good some things and come back with questions. Yes it is a big learning curve. But you can easily understand these things better than most doctors. Most who come here come with docs who are idiots.
Everything is guess work without your lab work. We have a sticky for that too.
Where you are located has a large impact on the quality and availability of TRT health care.