I am over 35 years old, I have been weight training since I was 15 years old. I am finished. Consider this my manifesto of finisho of weight training. My name is "Ralph" and I am an ectomorph (totally??). Over 20 years ago, at a weight of 145 pounds on my 5'11" frame, i discovered weight lifting. I was amazed that i could fling these plates into the air and muscle would appear on my lanky, purely skinny frame.
Over the next 20 years, I poured everything i had into lifting those plates around. Let me degress a few years from that point. Ralph, where did you get that arm? Yes, I, Ralph could throw a fastball, at age 13, over 70 miles per hour. Little league was a breeze. nobody could hit me, accept by freak accident. See my long ectomorphic arms could throw a ball with extreme speed, but as i grew older, and because I could not get any stonger (ECTO), the other boys caught up using strength and I ceased being 'special'.
Ralph, you are our best cross-country runner on the team! Ralph you always come in first place in cross country, well EF YOU! Yeah, Mr. Ectomorph can throw a ball, and run real far, who gives a $h^T. Back to 15, i started lifting in my garage, bench press, bent rows, barbell curls, pullups, etc. I pumped away for years, i built some muscle in my chest and about 5 pounds overall, if i was wet. I tried every routine, weight gainer, every bull$h^t thing out there, eating 5000 calories a day, and never added much muscle.
After age 25 fat weight hit me like a runaway freight train, i balloned up to 215 pounds (i had given up on weights pretty much by this time) with a 38" waist and this God awful freaky 13" pythons. Great ENDO in my gut, ECTO in my torso.
This pretty much continued until weight related issue surfaced like carpal tunnel, which was Bull$h^T, high cholestrol, all this crap related to being FAT! Where's mr Ectomorph now, huh? When I lose weight, it's in my stick figure arms, BULL$h^T! OK, last year i say screw this BULL$h^t, get it together.
I hit the weights, start actually eating right, and lost over 40 pounds of fat, and low and behold, That F#CK3R from 20 years ago resurfaced, this time with a twist. Yeah,this F#CK3R is skinny again, 30" waist with a nice 2 inch roll around it, but i'm in at 165lbs. Same damn arms. I hit the gym until i would leave shaking, be dragging myself into the car. Protein shakes, before, during and after, with the right Carb balance, creatine, glutamine, fish oil, muscle milk, fried rat, pig intestines, whatever, YAH YAH YAH, BULL$h^T!
I have done it all in the last 20 years, i have hit the weights so hard, while watching these Bozos with sloppy form, do a few pushdowns and walk out of the gym with thier triceps 3 F#CK^N inches bigger. TO add insut to injury, my wife catches me upstairs and tells me, hmmmm, honey you arms look smaller. I thought, yeah right, I have been pounding them up to 13-1/2 baby. I go measure them, back own to 13 inches after 20 F#CK^N years of lifting weights, I am SO F#CK^NG through, it makes me irrate thinking about it.
I bought "Scrawny to Brawny" all right!! Gonna gain some F#CK^NG muscle! Thanks for the F#CK^NG ring of Fat around the middle you gave me (trying to get a six pack, yeah right), but i didn't get anymore muscle for my trouble.
How about some Steroids? My goal is measly. I don't aspire to be a big freaky freakshow of a freak. I'd like 15 pounds of solid muscle, and 2 or 3 inches on my arms. I like my weight now, I am going to be happy with it because i have to, im stuck!, I need 2 inches on my arms to balance out my porportions. I have heard (mostly from the book Juiced by Jose Canseco) Steroids can change the Chemical makeup of your body. IE: change your body type from ectomorph to mesomorph? IS THIS TRUE?
CAN I PUT AN END TO THIS BULL$H^T ONCE AND FOR ALL BY GETTING ON THE VITAMIN S? INTRODUCING MR NEEDLE TO MR BUTTOCKS? I'm a Ecto Pu$$y, probably never ever get enough balls to stick that thing in my ass anyway. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK PUHLEEZE!
HINT HINT: What doses, what times, keeping my balls from shrinking, all the good stuff, don't hold back. 1 or 2 cycles? come on, don't hold back!