Hello all. I’m a 39 year old that’s felt like shit for nearly 20 years now. I think I initially did start feeling bad due to depression/anxiety/stress but don’t think that’s the issue any more. I’ve been on nearly every AD out there and Lexapro is the only thing I could tolerate and it didn’t help. At the beginning of my fatigue and feeling like shit issues I went through over a year and a half of extreme insomnia (2-3 hours of sleep a night, many times not sleeping for days), with other fucked up symptoms such as always feeling hot and night sweats every night that were like someone threw a bucket of water on the bed. I’ve fortunately been past that for a long time now, but I still just feel exhausted and like shit all the time. I can sleep 9 hours solid for many days in a row and still wake up feeling exhausted. I sleep with a CPAP, even though I borderline didn’t even need one. I’m 6 ft and 215 lbs now, which isn’t great, but I’m not morbidly obese or anything. I still exercise somewhat regularly. When I first started feeling bad I was 175 lbs, nearly ripped, and exercising regularly. Within the past decade I’ve gotten into great exercise routines for over a year at a time doing heavy lifting and cardio, and while I got down to 190 lbs several times, I never gained any energy or felt better, and made very little gains at the gym. This is what prompted me to first get my T checked 3/1/2013. My total T was 288, and free T 5.4. My doc did a comprehensive metabolic panel and everything else was normal. My doc started me on Testim gel and for the first time in a looong time I started to actually feel good. Gel wasn’t an option to me due to the dangers and the fact we were trying to get pregnant at the time (which my doc knew when she put me on it). I got transferred to a urologist, who put me on clomid. That got my total up to 662 and free wasn’t tested. I felt like absolute death on the clomid though and had to stop. Since we were trying to get pregnant there wasn’t really any other options. Fast forward to now. We’re done with kids, I’ve had a vasectomy, and still feel like shit so I decided to revisit testosterone and see a different urologist. Below is all the information from my blood panel. Total T was 462. He did not test free T, so I requested he check that. See below blood panel images for further T results.
My 2nd blood test came back 348 Total T and 5.6 free T. He did a 3rd test which came back 388 Total T and 9.5 free T. All test done were via LabCorp. Free T was the direct method. The doctor refused to treat me at these levels. I don’t want to be on TRT the rest of my life if I don’t have to but I’m at the point now where I’m desperate and willing to try about anything. Aside from feeling like shit there isn’t anything I’d change about my life right now. I’m pretty fortunate in every other way, but I just don’t even want to live any more (not suicidal, just have no zest for life). Every day sucks and is a struggle to make it through while feeling like shit and having no energy. Is this something I should pursue with those numbers or am I barking up the wrong tree?